Gossip - The JW Method (page 2)

rebel8

I have a wierd "I don't need people" attitude. I have a real callus on my psyche when it comes to others gossiping about me. I actually kinda enjoy it. That may be sick or something, I don't know. It's just that I find it so pathetic. When I've found out rumors about me, I rarely became angry or humiliated, but rather laughed my head off and mocked the gossipers. I tend to go to great lengths to avoid clearing up the rumors too. I just let them keep guessing and I keep telling them how immature they are for making assumptions and telling stories. I think I'm a bit ill!

stillajwexelder

So what would happen when that DFed person wants to come back and all the lies are being told?

The fact they are reinstated should say it all to the congregation. I was never swayed by gossip -always tried to base my decision on facts and degree of repentance etc.

stillajwexelder

I dunno, stilla.... I'm bound by confidentiality rules at work too. But if I hear a colleague discussing a case that I am privy to, I always have the option to say something like "Gossiping about a patient is wrong and you know it. Knock it off or I'll have to take it to the nurse manager."

I agree Scully. With 20/20 hindsight vision I wish I had handled matters better.

Honesty

If you never went back have you found out about the rumors about you and what you supposedly did?

What I did are discussed and they are not rumors. I made sure that enough dubs knew why I left and they all know that I consider every one of them cowards for clinging to an apostate religious cult that is spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically abusing them.

Bob Evans

Walland, TN

AK - Jeff

I personally think that the organization has set things up that way. By the engendered gossip that stems from clandestine Jc's that end in public announcements, they have virtually assured that enough lies and half-truths will be told to keep most of the congregation at arms length for a while even post-reinstatement.

Gossip is a powerful tool. It keeps those who have been damaged by it in line. It scares those who have yet to be the victim of it out of the JC line. Hell, they have managed to destroy my personal reputation, built up over 40 years plus as a witness, soley with gossip, innuendo, misrepresented facts, libelous labels, etc. And I have never faced a Jc in my life.

Don't think gossip is powerful? Just whisper someone's name and the word 'apostate' in the right ears. Wildfire never spread so fast.

Jeff

Scully

What effect did the gossip mill have on your attempt to go back?

Did you find out there were stories circulating that had no truth in them whatsoever?

Were you always treated as a "marked" person even after you were reinstated?

If you never went back have you found out about the rumors about you and what you supposedly did?

Since I was not DFd or DAd, and have never had any intention of going back to the JWs, gossip about me would not change my decision.

Yes, I've found out stories about me that were totally untrue. In fact, family members were key players in circulating those stories. Rather than approach me with negative information that they had heard to determine its accuracy, they assumed it was true because it came from The Brothers™.

Even just with a status of Inactive™, I've been treated as though I'm DFd by local JWs. I've been shunned in the grocery store, at the mall, at Tim Hortons. Of course, I don't go out of my way to be friendly with JWs anymore either, just like I wouldn't with anyone else I don't know. I used to go out of my way to make them uncomfortable and force them to do what they feel they must do. I can't be bothered anymore. My time and self-worth is much too valuable to waste on a JW who would love nothing more than to turn their nose up at me as though I'm nothing but a piece of dog crap. I think it's true what they say: The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. And it bothers the JWs to have me ignore them more than it bothers me to be shunned by them. I win!!

Lady Lee

Yeah Scully

Saoirse

What effect did the gossip mill have on your attempt to go back?

The gossip mill is what made me wanted to leave in the first place.

Did you find out there were stories circulating that had no truth in them whatsoever?

Never DFed but I was still the victim of gossip. Here's some of the rumors spread about me:

When my husband and I eloped, everyone thought I was pregnant.
My brother spread a rumor that I correspond regularly with Ray Franz
I was blamed for other relatives leaving the "truth", even though these people only contacted me after they decided to leave
I was blamed for corrupting the minds of my nieces and nephew
That my mother kicked me out of her house when I was in town for my grandmother's funeral - the truth is my mother was physically and emotionally abusive to me as a child and I had no intentions of staying at her house

My husband had the following lies spread about him:

He was the reason I quit going to meetings
When he left his ex-wife after she cheated on him with 2 different guys, her family claimed that they were divorcing because my husband was abusive - my husband doesn't have an abusive bone in his body
When we moved out of state because of his job, they spread rumors that he was a bad father

If you never went back have you found out about the rumors about you and what you supposedly did?

My husband and I are related to so many JWs that they can't say anything without us finding out about it.

Gossip - The JW Method

Share this