I think I've finally had it! (long) (page 2)

garybuss

Lynn the teacher is probably seeing you as a reminder of her failure. You may have noticed Witnesses tend to see everything in terms of black and white. So you are either with them, or against them. You may be sending them the message that you are not "with" them by not accepting their elementary tenant.

serendipity

Hugs Lynn. Not all JW's would act that way. I'm glad you told her that she was being presumptuous for judging you.

Calliope

I'm angry now and don't even want to go back to the KH, but one part of me wants to continue going just to get her goat.
Is my bible study conductor's behavior the norm for when people decide they don't want to join?

as everyone has stressed, yes, this is normal conduct...

and consider yourself fortunate that you weren't drawn in any further!

Frannie Banannie

My turn to say "Welcome to JWD," Lynmello!

Now.....just realize that since your jdubya bible teacher wasn't able to convince you of the "troof".....they'll probably at least try once to send someone else around to pick up the study with you. They figure that yall might've had a personality clash and will try to weasel their way around whatever problems you've had with her.

Frannie

voltaire

If you think it's bad now, try expressing doubt AFTER baptism. If have any reservations, please don't get baptised. BTW, we aren't all that way. Looking back, I think I left in part because I couldn't put the screws to people the way she's doing to you. I felt much more like letting people do what they felt like. The problem was that my no pressure style didn't really reflect the extreme urgency the witnesses place on their ministry and that created a lot of inner conflict for me. Be firm, you don't owe her any explanation. They're good at manipulating. We've spent years honing our skills, so you'll have to be tough. Good luck.

lynnmelo

They're good at manipulating.

I'm learning this quickly. Now that I think back, it's almost like my bible study conductor was just being nice to me in order to bring me into the organization. Otherwise, I just can't understand how she could be so mean to me now that I've decided not to join. That's the weird thing about some of the Witnesses: It's as if they're less than human--like some preprogrammed human-like robots who can switch thier emotions on and off whenever they feel like it. They talk so much about "agape love," but I've never really felt any "love" in the congregation. It reminds me of a Star Trek episode I once saw. Jim and crew land on a planet where this genius man invites them to dinner. Everything looks great, but the food is tasteless. It turns out that the genius had studied earth for a while and had tried to simulate it's food, among other things. The thing he couldn't imitate, though, was the taste because he'd never actually tasted food. It's like the Witnesses: They try to act loving, but it's all a forced endeavor, so it actually doesn't come across as love---at least it didn't in the congregation I attended. Dumb analogy, but that's what I thought of.

undercover

How I see it:

You haven't progressed to baptism despite studying for so long. The sister conducting the bible study is getting pressure from the elders to either move it along to baptism or drop you all together. That is the M.O. of how it works.

Since you're not baptized you can come to all the meetings at the hall that you want and still be treated nicely by a lot of people there. The sister who dropped you as a study probably will not be all that friendly to you because, as someone else pointed out, you're a reminder to her failure or since she couldn't convert you, you're not really worthy of her time anymore.

As long as you keep attending the hall without getting baptized, you will watched by the elders and from time to time be asked if you want to study again, with the thought of baptism in mind.

My question is, since you see how manipulative they are, and since you don't agree with some of the doctrines that all JWs have to accept, why do you bother with it at all? Why not just add JWs to the list of already checked off religions and churches as "not the one"?

Sunnygal41

I give you credit, girl, for having a brain and a backbone. So many of us were made to feel the same way this sister made you feel..........I got that treatment at 14 years old and just caved right in to keep my mom happy and I thought that maybe something was wrong with me cuz I couldn't swallow it down hook, line and sinker..........unfortunately, I've given this kind of treatment once or twice to some of my studies..........thinking that the tough love treatment would help them see the light.........now, it makes me sick when I remember those times......but, in my defense, I, too, was a good, brainwashed witness.........if you are familiar with Star Trek, you've heard of the Borg........well, that is a good analogy that some have used in reference to the WTS......."you will be assimilated"..........if I were you, I'd get the hell out of it and not let them subject you to anymore of their self righteous crap. Walk away free and clean. Terri

AlmostAtheist

Hey Lynn,

You've given them every chance it seems, and in doing so you've truly exposed them for what they are. Reminds me a bit of another poster, AuldSoul. He gave the Watchtower every opportunity to make it right, but they wouldn't. Or more likely, couldn't. "What is there crooked that can be made straight?" says one proverb or other.

I loved your Star Trek reference. Yes, their "love" is entirely conditional and therefore hard to label as anything but fake. It FEELS real enough, but it isn't. Like getting a hug from a hugging machine -- You don't pay your quarter, you don't get a hug.

When you're a bible study, they sort of credit you with being a JW, expecting that you will come on in. When you don't, it fires all sorts of triggers. A primary one is fear for you. They actually do (probably, I certainly did as a JW) feel concern for you, since you're not "on the ark" yet and the flood is on the way. So when you take so many steps toward joining up, but then bail at the last minute, they just can't comprehend it. It is truly mind-boggling to them that you could KNOW the truth, and still reject it. There is simply no allowance in their mind for the possibility that a person could honestly evaluate them and decide it's not "the truth".

Be glad you were sharp enough to question it all BEFORE you got baptized!

Dave

willyloman

Is my bible study conductor's behavior the norm for when people decide they don't want to join?

Pretty much. It's a personal insult. They're totally invested and they really believe - or at least they tell themselves - that all that stands between most people and baptism is a good study with JWs.

The other side of this coin is the belief that sheep are "called" to the organization by Jehovah so the fact that you appeared to be called (by starting to study) and are now rejecting the call (by balking at their interpretation) is a troubling sign to her. It's troubling personally, for reasons mentioned already by other posters, but it may also be troubling because it indicates to her that you may not be a sheep after all. In which case, that only leaves one thing for you to be (starts with G, ends with T, and rhymes with "boat").

p.s. Loved your Star Trek analogy. You've got a mind that works. Keep using it.

I think I've finally had it! (long)

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