might be a good chance mouthy, im going to look into it...
Keep us posted love!!! It is GREAT to see you here(HUG)
anyone have/had this problem?
by lonelysam 23 Replies latest jw friends
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mouthy
bttp
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kid-A
Welcome to the board.
I was born in the JWs and was never baptized because I always knew it was wrong. There is an urban legend propagated by the watchtower that all the kids that leave the borg run off and start having wild orgies and start snorting coke and injecting heroin. This is a load of crap. None of the ex-JW kids I knew that left the witnesses EVER engaged in that sort of behaviour, including myself. In fact, of all the teenagers I knew that were doing drugs, having sex, getting pregnant etc, sure enough, they were active JWs. I didnt know ANY "worldly" kids engaging in these sorts of things....
While I dont think "saving it" until marriage is necessarily the best option, that is totally cool if that is how you feel about it. You just have to be patient, the right one will come along. Right now, you have a lot of emotional baggage trying to break free of all the watchtower mind conditioning. Once that process is complete (and I promise, it will happen!) You will be free to have a great relationship with the one. You are only 19 and time is definitely on your side. Good luck !
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rebel8
There is nothing wrong with waiting to lose your virginity! It says a lot about you that you realize you are not in a situation where you want to start having sex. That's great. Wait until the time is right.
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damselfly
There is nothing wrong with waiting at all. If you haven't met the right person yet, they will come along. You shouldn't feel weird about this at all, 19 is still young! I liked the advice about having girl friends first, if you've just come out of the org, then it might be a good idea to develope friendships first before jumping into relationships. That's what I wish I had done.
Dams
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MsMcDucket
There's a young guy that I work with that is a Christian. He has a girlfriend, and they're not having sex. This young man is so handsome that he could get any girl that he wants, but he's not into that. He's devoted to his girlfriend, and it appears that she is devoted to him. So, I believe that you can find a girlfriend and still not engage in sex. There's nothing wrong with having a platonic relationship. I advise that you do date and find out about relationships and how they work. Like I said, you don't have to have sex...but don't be a heartbreaker...
I hope that makes sense to you.
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greendawn
It's up to you what you want to do, if you feel that way, there are many non JWs that prefer sex after and within marriage, it is not a specifically JW attitude. And in the long run it may be the better way.
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MuadDib
Oh yes. I've never had a girlfriend either. Over the years I've refined my flirting skills to the point where I'm now reasonably adept at holding girls' attention and getting them interested in me, but having been brought up with such a powerfully skewed interpretation of the opposite sex I never learned how to make my move, as they say. Many times I've kind of sensed a conversation build up to that point, where I know if I say or do something in particular I might be able to get a girl interested enough to come home with me, but inevitably I'm just not sure how to do it and then it passes, and I'm alone again. It sucks. But I'm gradually feeling my way along, getting better at it, and I feel it's probably only a matter of time before I finally manage to take down a lady or two.
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outoftheorg
I think you have received some good advice here. If you want to remain a virgin until you marry, I commend you for your good moral stand.
However I think that you should understand, that the best of intentions and moral stand sometimes are forgotten. At times when the harmon's start to surge during close physical contact, "petting".
Then a sexual encounter takes place in spite of your good intentions.
Then what do you do??
Beat the hell out of yourself ? Degrade yourself and believe that you are a terrible, weak, no good fornicator, that God hates?
NO you are not!! You are just another young man trying to make his way in life and in your mind you made a mistake. That is all, you made a mistake. Who of us have not made a mistake like this or something similar??
God will not hate you for this and the only one you ( may ) need to apologize to is your female friend.
She may not even require an apology.
HOWEVER if a child is the result, be a man and accept your responsibilities.
From what I read in your post you sound like a good reliable honest young man. You will do just fine.
Keep your moral standards intact and forgive yourself for errors and LEARN from them.
Outoftheorg
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geevee
Go watch that new movie the 40 year old virgin and laugh at his predicament. You are not that old, when the time is right and your head is right it will happen. Chances are you turned down lots of opportunites for sex as a dub, so dont sweat it.