Quick Way To Shoo Away JWs (page 2)

Gretchen956

This is exactly what I did a couple of months ago when they came to my door. I said, mark this address down on your little card as being apostate. Then I wished them Merry Christmas and shut the door. Stopped them cold.

Sherry

misspeaches

LOL - I wish I could have seen that and James Woods when you both did that! Love your work guys...

greendawn

I just tell them I have found my own way and I don't need anyone to give me advice but I would rather give them advice. They must not think that they have the upper hand in the enlightment area.

rebel8

TY Jeannie, the raspberry martini I'm working on is helping.

Here's another idea. As they approach, let some drool fall out of your mouth, mess up your hair, and shout, "What do you want with us, Son of God? Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time? If you drive us out, send us into a herd of pigs." Then start making wild gestures and odd noises. If you burst out laughing, it's ok because it'll seem like maniacal laughter. All the better if you can make it sound like "muuuaahaaahaaaa" They will think you're possessed by a boatload of demons and they'll run screaming.

You see I am so prepared for them to knock on my door, but they never have. It will be so fun when they do.

Mum

Great stories! Once when my daughter (then age 19 or 20) and I lived in Indiana, a JW came knocking. My daughter answered the door, and, upon realizing she was listening to a JW, simply replied, "Oh, I've already been a Jehovah's Witness." The poor lady was quite taken aback. Nevertheless, she came back one time to talk to us. We were already headed to the car, so she didn't get to say much. She asked me if I left just because I no longer "believed it." I said No because at the time I left, I was not mentally free. So the poor JW lady never got the straight of why we left.

Be sure to remind all of your "worldly" friends that it's that simple to get rid of a JW, just telling them you're an "apostate" or "have already been a JW." The "demonized" strategy sounds great and totally fun as well.

Regards,

SandraC

bebu

I think it would be funny if a person said "I'm an.... apostate!" while leaning forward in a menacing manner, with a bit of a wild look. Should be really overthetop, though, with a sudden surge of drama, so that a minute after they beat a hasty retreat they could look at each other and think, "That guy/gal was really laughing at us for being so uptight."

It might work... but not for everyone. Sarcasm gets lost on certain people.

(BTW, james wood, that was hilarious to read!!!)

bebu

Legolas

Ya know you could just start speaking some gibberish and say that you are contacting 'your father or master' for them and look all evil doing it and say wait till I get my occult book so we can do it together.......I bet you you would never see them again at your door!

lucifer

I love the demonized idea lol. I work with and old friend who is a JW, she won't talk to me anymore and avoids eye contact, we were best friends for 11 years. Well one day in the lunch room what do I find but a watchtower and awake, so I take both of them sit down near her flip through and starting laughing at what was written, then I got up and threw that *garbage* out and left the lunch room, the look on her face lol

noneofurbiznis

I've done the "I've already been one" thing & ramble off a few elders names from different congregations & then they walk away.

My dad & step mom told me about this guy who was normal until you pulled out the bible...then he'd pull out his shotgun & tell you to get off of his property. He was fine with the magazines though.

Rook

When they ask, "Can I talk to you about God?" Reply, "Sure, what would you like to know?"

Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."

Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!

Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want to appear on their doorstop univited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.

Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.

Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, "er, I'm not sure if it's legal in this country

A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of "The Watchtower" scattered around...

Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to leave.

Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty-two children.

Invite them in to see your fine collection of dinosaur fossils.

Three Religious Truths
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
Jehovah's Witnesses do not recognize each other at the porn shop.

Quick Way To Shoo Away JWs

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