Ok, all the heavy hitters are in bed. I'll take it. Sorry, no offense to you intended. Yes, you are a UBM, an unbelieving mate. We have quite a few here. I was never jw either. How long have you been married? You married her knowing she was jw?! wow. I have been married over twenty years now and husband only recently joined this cult. It sure makes life miserable sometimes. First off they are never home with all that the society keeps them busy at! Meetings and field service. Then there is the extreme changes that occur when one joins this cult. You may not see that as she was already one when you married her. Let's see, where to even start?
First off, you may not want to let her know you are visiting 'apostate' sites. But do continue to do so, you will need all the support you can get. Do not call it a cult. Do not tell her you can insert any vowel into 'jehovah' and not hurt the word gramatically as any first year Hebrew student can tell you, they get rather testy at that. Do not hit her over the head with the severe pedophile problem, UN documents, 1914/1918 issue, 586/607 issue, blood issue, Mexico/Malawi issue, Bulgaria blood issue, playing scripture volleyball really doesn't seem to help either, doctrinal flip-flops, misquoting authors and scholors, etc.... etc.....etc.... Do you see you have your work cut out for you?
Research, research and research some more. Get a copy of 'Crisis of Conscience' by Ray Franz, any of Steve Haassan's book about dealing with cult members, look into Margaret Singer and Lifton's for just 'what is a cult'? See http://www.silentlambs.org/ for the pedophile problem, see Freeminds for more info on the organization in general. That is a good start, it is run by Randy Watters a very respected individual in the anticult ministry. There are new sites popping up everyday so you will not be lacking in information. Again, don't call it a cult, in my experience it does not go over well!!!
Before you do anything do some more research and find out about this org. (organization) and how to deal EFFECTIVELY with cult members. I think a few of us did things backwards and have catch up to do with trust, respect, etc...
A few tips for you--- When I first came to these boards I didn't have any idea of what the following meant ( if you already know, I don't mean to insult your intelligence)
gb-governing body of the Watchtower
wt-watchtower (also a catch all phrase for anything jw, sometimes)
jw-jehovah witness
dub-a jw (kind of like georgedubyabush, only jaydubya)
df'd- disfellowshiped, means nobody within the jw's will talk to the df'd person again, including family, even parents
da'd- means somebody basically df'd themself, disassociated themself from the org
org-organization (of course jw)
gb-governing body (you will get to know about them quite well as they control your wife and everybody else
Russell- the originator of this 'religion'
Rutherford or the 'Judge' - came right after Russell
FDS- faithful and discreet slave (they of course think they are 'it'
annointed-special class of jw's who have a heavenly hope (everybody else can only HOPE to survive armageddon)
the big A- armageddon
r & f- rank and file -just your regular jw, probably your wife, they just follow along
ms- ministerial servant- they get to hold the microphone at meetings, I guess this is a big deal for them, really! I think they have other duties but not sure what
elder- the guy who will control your wife and therfore your life as well
jc- no, not Jesus Christ, don't be silly. that is a 'judicial committee, where poor r & f get hauled into a back room for some 'wrong doing' real or imagined
bs- no not that! even if it. It means 'bible study'. Yes, I know they don't actually study the bible only wt's but they like to call it that
There are more, others can add to it.
My own personal way of dealing with it is - over my dead body will my kids ever step foot in a kh (kingdom hall or kingdom hell, depending on your mood) I am very serious about that. Never, ever! That's just me though. Read some of the human wreckage stories for yourself and decide what is best for your children if you have any. I also deliver anti-witness literature to peoples paperboxes and businesses. It won't help my situation but it may stop someone else from going through what I am. And on days when I know I can not alter this situation at all, it makes me feel like I am at least doing something tangible.
Oh dear, this got so terribly long, sorry. I wish you all the best. Look in the 'Action:: Jump to' box for old threads that can be helpful. Jgnat and CYP, Lady Lee,(sorry if I forgot others) has had quite a few very helpful post for UMB's. And last but certainly not least is our very own 'Blondie"! She does and excellent 'review' of Sunday meetings. Get to know the 'character' here, just like a tv show. I see you are a Christian, there are some here but do be careful of a few who have claimed to be, well, what can I say? practically Jesus Himself. If anything this experience will force you to not be any wishy washy Christian but know just what you believe!
Wishing you all the best,
carla
