by Brutus 14 Replies latest social humour
Difference between publisher, aux pio, and reg pio as described for me by a pio:
All three order iced tea at break. All three glasses have flies floating in them.
Pub politely sets glass aside, says nothing.
Aux pio removes fly quietly, drinks.
Pio snatches up fly , shakes it, says 'spit that out!'
Mommy Dark,
I heard a slighy different version of that, only it was a glass of beer, and the last one was a Bethelite.
Former elder turned apostate (by WT definition)[:)}and proud of it!
a variation on one of the above:
two dubs knock on a householders door. when he answer's the door, dub ask's if he would like to become a jehovah's witness. house holler says that he can't because he didn't see the accident ;however, he would be happy to give some blood!
(Advanced warning – potentially offensive language used in this adaptation of my favourite joke)
A young zealous JW was invited out by his boss for a game of golf. The JW wasn’t very happy about spending leisure time with a worldly person instead of being out on field service but he reasoned that an opportunity might arise to witness to him.
The JW and his boss began the round of golf and immediately the boss made a terrible shot. ‘SHIT!’ he shouted. The JW winced but said nothing.
At the second hole the boss made another mistake. ‘Oh BOLLOCKS!’ he cried.
The young JW could not stand such offensive language and told his boss that God did not like such abusive speech.
The boss thought this was a bit sanctimonious but being an understanding kind of fellow he apologised.
However, on the next shot the boss missed an easy putt.
‘Dammit, missed the bastard!’ he shouted.
The JW was incensed. ‘Really, if you keep using language like that, God will surely punish you!’ ‘OK, OK,’ said the boss.
But on the last crucial shot the boss missed by a mile. ‘Fuck me!’ cried the boss.
‘You are an evil man who God will punish!’ Cried the JW.
Just then, a great flash of lightening came out of the sky and burned the boss to a smoking cinder.
‘See! See! I told you!’ exulted the zealous JW.
But a deep voice boomed out of heaven:
‘DAMMIT! MISSED THE BASTARD!’
Okay, I heard this one on David Letterman a long time ago on one of his top ten lists:
The number one thing you do NOT want to hear from the only other person you're stuck in an elevator with:
"and not only do I sell AMWAY, I'm also a Jehovah's Witness!"
or something to that effect. :)
