how to behave in judical committee? pls help

albertjw

Hi,
I am new here, excuse my english. I really need your help. It seems that some of you are serving or have been serving as elders and have judical committee experience (stillajwexelder for example). I want to know how I must behave in JC meeting to avoid disfellowshipping.
I simply cannot leave the org. There must be good-hearted people here who understand what I am going through here and can help me. I did a LOT of emotional harm to a very good person, there are moments in my day that when I think of it I would be ready to die for it if I can reverse my actions somehow.
I am single and you know the rest: My sin is porneia. I have not committed adultery by worldly standards, but by their definition from "pay attnention.." book:

>It includes oral and anal sex or mutual masturbation
>between persons not married to each other, homosexuality,
>lesbianism, fornication, adultery, incest, and bestiality.

I am quilty in heavy petting, mutual masturbation etc, but not penetration. But it doesn't matter it seems, it is all porneia when genitals are involved - and so the most sinnful of all sins..

My concern is that though I have regretted, stopped the habit long time ago, I have apologized to the person I caused harm with this - that they still find it too little too late, and my sin too big.

1. It seems that confessing yourself first (before the other one accuuses me) helps. Does it really?
2. Can I confess wihtout saying the sister's name, to leave her out of it?
3. When long time have passed since committing sins, does it show my un-regrettfullness?
4. If the sin was habitual (took place during long period), does it show that I am unrepentant no matter what I say now?
5. I am not going to fake tears or anything like that, but is there anything I can say or do to prove that I regret what I did??

I there is no chance for me then I don't know if I can go through this.. I know already all the details they ask, and if they df me anyway I will feel very abused. Everyone I know is jw including all my family..

thanks in advance,
albrt

DannyBloem

I'll give you a most honest answer as possible, but do not know of the situation.

It is sometiems hard to tell, because It really depends on the elders involved for those cases. If they do not like you, you are much easier screwed then if they like you, or like you are the sone of a p.o.

Well you can do a few things

1. Lie. Are there two witnesses. If not, say it is not true and lie. If there are two or more witnesses, you can't do this.

2. (pretend to) feel veryy sorry what you did. This only works if it is done only a single time or very few times, and/or if you report it yourself. If the behaviour is repeated much, there is les chance they will fall for this. You already say that it is repeated behavoir. But when it is long time ago, you can say that you fell so sorry now, and that it is long since stopped. What is very important in this case if it is found out, or you tell yourself.

Do not see any other solution, except leaving. Maybe some other posters see one....

b.t.w. I do not think there is anything wrong with what you did, so do not let them make you feel very quilty

Wish you good luck with it

Danny

albertjw

It seems that quick confession could have saved me, as serendipity wrote in http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/106475/1849518/post.ashx#1849518

>I was df'd because I didn't approach the elders quickly enough after committing fornication. ( waited 6 >months.) I then specifically asked if they thought I was repentent. They said yes. So I appealed. And >was told the same thing.

Enigma One

>It includes oral and anal sex or mutual masturbation

>between persons not married to each other, homosexuality,

>lesbianism, fornication, adultery, incest, and bestiality.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

LOL....Ok...just kidding.

Literally kid...get out of this cult now! It's a horrific mind controling evil empire. Be who you are. Embrace what you do and are. Seek a guidance OUTSIDE of the JW's...see a shrink trained in exiting cults.

billyboy

Hi Albert - I'm an elder in Britain. Most of the responses you will get will be very negative - "get out of this cult" etc - as they are from apostates & very bitter & twisted ex-witnesses (many of whom have been DF on porneia grounds themselves). You will get probably 50 posts today - they don't get many existing witnesses posting & you will be a minor celebrity & regarded as easy meat for opposers!

My response having served on many JC is - be honest & open. The elders aim is to "gain you" as a brother - not vindictively disfellowship you. DF is absolutely a final option. Tell the facts & how you feel. Pray to Jehovah. The passage of time isn't necessarily a factor - it is a positive matter that you want to get the matter sorted out.

Enigma One

For once Albert...explore the teachings of the WTBS from those of us who have been there, done that.

Did you know that the WTBS has membership in the United Nations?
Did you know that not a single, solitary encyclopedia you can get a any libarary says that Jerusalem fell in 607...they all say 586/587....meaning....1914 couldn't have been the year as JW's teach.
Do you know how many times JW's have flip flopped on the blood issue? Medical issues?

Please....spend a few hours here looking through old posts. Get to your library. Read one or both of Ray Franz' books.

Remember Jesus said to measure all things, and that truth will hold up to the light of examination. Please do so for your sake. Welcome to JWD!!!

Enigma One

Sorry I typed HAS membership...It should say HAD. (Had for about 10 years during the 1990's)

DannyHaszard

Welcome albertjw Danny's Blog click for my my judicial committee Kangaroo court experience.Know this,nothing that they do is impelled by the "direction of the holy spirit" and it is blaspheme for them to assert that it is. ---------- Watchtower racket is a crime syndicate operated by a megalomaniacal madmen-Danny Haszard Bangor Maine

cyberdyne systems 101

At the end of the day if you wish to continue being a Witness you have to play by their rules. Just be yourself in the judicial. If your worried that men will judge you and its not from Jesus the head of the Christian congregation on earth, then dont go, learn for yourself what the Bible says and leave with your head held high.

At the moment you sound frightened and scared, of whom though? Is it not the Elders who you perceive have power and control over you? Will they be stood next to you when you stand before Jesus on judgement day? If you read the Bible and have found yourself to have sinned against God then go to him for your forgiveness. Your life is in one of fear due to the high control and cult type tactics you have lived in for so long, the thought of leaving all that sounds scary. But just look at all those here that broke free from serving men, do we sound scared? In time you wont either if you check out your faith now, see what they teach and compare it to the Bible - i'm sure you will find it in striking contrast. Can I recommend an unbiased reading of the book of Romans.

Just remember these are only men and its is before God and Jesus that you may or may not answer, dont give them anymore power

albertjw

thanks to all who have answered so far.

Still, I probably can't leave out the sisters name. And then she loses advantage of confessing first. I would say my odds are 50/50. They would probably say that: why I acted like nothing was wrong after stopping the habit and how could I say prayers in cong. and such with a bad concience. The truth is I was not very spiritual at that time, and only lately I have discrovered the seriousness of what I have done. Its more complicated right now that I can handle.

btw., for others: I agree that doing research and reading bible with opened eyes is important..

how to behave in judical committee? pls help

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