Going on the OFFENSIVE with relatives....

LDH

Well, I just replied to Reagan in another thread, and wanted to share my latest thoughts on family. Anyone please tell me if you have used this tactic successfully.

I am no longer content to wait to get bashed with witty little JW-isms. NOPE. I'm at WAR gosh darn it!

I just sent my mom a little brochure written by public speaker Donna Hartley, called "30 days to success" or some such. It's full of self-affirmations and all kinds of worldly wisdom. I'm waiting for her to say summat like, "I'm the MOST successful because I worship Jehovah!" At which point I will ask her, "Well then, why are you always so GD miserable?" Whereupon I expect I will be hung up on. Again.

However, going on the offense does have its benefits. Maybe you will try it one day too. I'm not going to tiptoe around the issues anymore and wait with baited breath. Im going to point out how miserable every JW that I know is.

Lisa

Grunt

Well, good luck, Lisa. I think the Witnesses in my old congregation, very small, mostly special pioneers, almost all are divorced and most have gotten out. That "we are in Paradise already" balloon is easy to pop. Just make sure you don't lose your loved ones in the process. The dream that they somehow have something special that "worldly people" don't is a cherished fantasy that they don't want to surrender. Walk softly. I lost some, kept some and some are kind of on the fence I think. Nice to me if I see them but would never try to get in touch. I moved away just to avoid all the problems but brought the cancer with us in my daughter. God, I hate a cult. So far I have kept my parents, though I say way too much to my dad I think.

Pathofthorns

Walk softly. I lost some, kept some and some are kind of on the fence I think.

I like the attitude of going on the offensive, but they just seem to shut down when we do this. The comments by Grunt often end up to be true when those on the fence shut down completely when they feel under "attack".

From what i've seen, much depends on the nature of the person you are talking to and how much of an open mind they have and how much of their free thinking capacity remains.

They have to want to learn the truth about their religion and getting them to this point is generally a very slow, painful process that strains your self-control to the limits.

These days I find that leaving them alone, moving on and living happy is the best thing I can do for them to make them think.

Path

patio34

Hi LDH,

I'm glad you brought this up. I did something similar today with 2 of my JW sons. I told them all about the 'Dateline' show coming in Nov. They just said a couple of 'mmmmm's, but they now know about it. I explained about the '2 or 3 witnesses' problem, etc.

They NEVER preach to me anymore!

Pat

SlayerLayer

Lisa I was hung up on twice today because of the same thing.

joelbear

Its tough.

I'm going home for the first time this year this weekend. I've avoided my parents for 8 months because its so hard to hold my tongue.

I invited my oldest niece up who is a witness and hasnt seen me in 13 years except for twice for about 1 hour total.

Maybe it is like "coming out", if we all do it at the same time they have to deal with us all and it changes the dynamic.

Just to let yall know I sure know what you are going through.

hugs

Joel

LDH

Grunt you are right, we are risking losing them. But aren't they already lost to us if they won't acknowledge our decision NOT to be JW's???

I mean, I KNOW I am happier now. I'm sure you all are too. Why are we just waiting and treading lightly so as not to offend them? They are the ones violating our freedom of religion!

More thoughts?!?!?!?

bitter mango

lisa, i wish i had your courage. good for you and good luck !!!

peace, mango

conflicted

You go girl!

Good for you. Your last post was my thoughts exactly.

THEY are willing to cut all contact to defend their beliefs, in their minds we must be wrong unless we are willing to do the same.

If you are going to go on the offensive you have to anticipate their reaction and have a counter for it. Stay one step ahead. They will try to shut down when they run out of arguments, be ready to wake them up, never stop until you succeed.

Good luck!

peaceloveharmony

lisa, i admire your courage too! (and slayer and reagan, and anyone else who dares to confront believing family) i'm a chicken shit when it comes to this. the fear of my parents completely shunning me and cutting off contact with my two brothers still living at home keeps me quiet. i so want to point out wts inconsistancies, failed prophecies etc etc to them. i know they just live the jw life because it is what is easy for them...although i'd never presume to know their relationship with their god, they are not jah this, jah that, the bible says, etc. i think they are witnesses because it's what they've done for 27 years, their friends are all witnesses and they like living the simple life. which then makes me really sad, it would seem it'd be easy to get them out...but i can't know how'd they react if they KNEW without a doubt that i am an apostate. their "don't ask, don't tell" way of dealing with me at least keeps me in their lives. but i tell you, it's getting very very very hard to keep my mouth shut. i don't know what to do...i guess for me i just keep loving them, and subtly try to get them to think. i sure hope that works, or someday i will lose it and everything i've learned about the wts will come gushing out.

i do know that once my youngest bro is 18 i'm for sure sitting down and having a serious talk about the jws with him. (i'm really holding onto a lot of hope that he will see the "truth" for what it is and start to think!)

i wish the best of luck to all of us dealing with jw relatives.

hugs and kisses all

love
harmony

Most people think, Great God will come from the skies, Take away everything And make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth, You will look for yours on earth: And now you see the light, You stand up for your rights.~~Bob Marley

Going on the OFFENSIVE with relatives....

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