What effect did armaggeddon/possible persecution have on your mental state?

by jambon1 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  diamondblue1974

  As othes have already said, this post brought back the nightmares. That Paradise book, which must be the most inappropriately named book on the planet, was responsible for giving me endless sleepless nights as a child. I lost count of the times I would look at my 'wordly' relatives and friends and try to blot out the visions of their impending death. I realise now that I used to suffer from panic attacks - something that I have only just learnt to deal with 30 years later.

  Totally agree. I also suffered nightmares at the thought of persecution; I was scared stiff even at the age of 3. DB74
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  ellderwho

  Seeing those pics takes me right back to that moment in the Hall where as a child I just looked and stared, what a gruesome sight for young eyes.

  They way I understand said theology, as far as punishment is concerned, there is none. Death, big deal. In one instant your gone, so what...you dont really suffer.

  I think Russell got rid of eternal punishment for this very reason. There was a cartoon of Russell with a fire hose putting out the flames of Hell.

  So being a non-dub or ex-dub, so what, a least you dont have to suffer eternity. Even if your in the new dub "paradise" and you screw-up what happens? Your zapped to death and thats it. No suffering.

  This doctrine has many loose ends. Research helps unlearn the lies learned. Its been my best medicine.
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  jambon1

  Take a look at the 3rd picture down - the one with the sinners glasses half falling off.

  - Believe it or not but that was painted onto an assembly theme board above the platform for hundreds to see. It was the 'Keep close in mind Jehovahs day' circuit assembly about 7 years ago.

  Sick bastard$
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  daystar

  troubled mind

  Do you think things are any better for young ones growing up in J-dumb now? Have 2nd and third generation witnesses seen the damage done to them and spared their own children any of that grief ?

  I was 3rd generation. I was spared nothing.
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  pratt1

  I too remeber being frightened by the pics in the Terrordise book.

  Although I am glad I did, I began working out and trining myself to be physically fit, so that I could withstand the tortures of the Great Trib.

  I Thought I could handle the torture for myself, but I knew I would break if my mom or girlfriend/wife was going to be raped.

  I knew that either I would be killed or I would disown Jehovah.
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  DannyHaszard

  Take a look at the 3rd picture down - the one with the sinners glasses half falling off

  They take control in even the smallest detail,the message is nothing no matter how benign that you use even eyeglasses will protect you from our domination.

  We will control and degrade you,we are supreme we WILL rake up your bones.

  They are the demonic control freaks with a mean streak,yes people usually imitate the god that they worship.
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  garybuss

  I was raised a third generation Witness and living under the black cloud of impending doom was my normal. I was prepared to die at Armageddon. I looked at my making it through Armageddon like a pragmatist looks at winning the lottery with one ticket. I just didn't think it was going to happen. If I believed what I believed, I wasn't going to make it. I had accepted that from an early age. What I wasn't prepared for was living.
  
  I feared the obvious. I feared life. I feared that I would be sitting in boring meetings and going door to door with the magazines that looked exactly like the magazines I took to the same door ten years ago all my life, and dying poor without ever seeing Armageddon. Into my 20's I could see that happening. I wasn't okay with it.
  
  I didn't like being a Witness and I could put up with it for a short time like I was promised, but I couldn't put up with it for a whole life time. I wasn't interested in it as a lifestyle. If it had been true, I could have accepted that. I couldn't accept it if is wasn't fact.
  
  I started looking at the Witnesses different. I started looking for credibility. I wasn't seeing it.
  
  The best news for me would have been if the Witnesses were wrong. Of course they were. It was easy to see in 1974. So my wildest dream came true. Now I had to muster up the guts to claim the prize. My prize was a reasonable life free of the threats of impending doom. Now I struggled with the obvious.
  
  On so many levels for me the Witness life was Sooooo much easier than living a rational life. I didn't have any non Witness teachers or models. I really didn't have any plans made for living and I didn't have the usual support from family and friends that a rational person gets when they have realistic goals and needs.
  
  My parents were extremely foolish and they failed in their primary job as a parent. That is to prepare the child for a long life in the world. They told me school's not important and not to think about material things. A human has no other rational need. All human needs are material. Material means real. So, in effect they told me not to think about my needs. That's a terrible way to treat a child. Unfortunately that was the world view of the Jehovah's Witness people.
  
  
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  Balsam

  I loved all my non-JW family and convinced myself there was no way God be so cruel as to kill them. I fully believed that they would be saved because of me and I really believed God was more merciful than JW ever protrayed him.
  

  The end was always present in my mind for years. Didn't have children till very late because the end was coming. My husband and I was married 13 years before we ever had children. 8 years after the 1975 failed date. When I finally got pregnant, I feared Tribulation and Armaggedon coming and giving birth in a ditch on the side of the road because the end was coming. I thought that through all my pregnancies. I didn't dwell on it too much by the second baby because of having a wonderful Midwife deliver my boys really quited my fears.

  Then as my boys grew I worried about Armaggedon coming and hardships that the WTS always told us was ahead of us. Constant fear. Then one day in the 1990's I thought this is just insane living in such fear, so I just disregarded all the end times talk and quit thinking about it. I felt better and started thinking of the future without the end coming. By 1999 I was beginning to do self help things for myself and ignoring more and more of the brain drain at the KH.

  It is so utterly mind boggling that JW are kept in such a level of fear all the time.

  Balsam
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  Soledad

  I can't even begin to describe the thoughts that used to cross my mind when I was just 5, 6, 7 years old.

  What bothered me the most when I was child was the thought of losing my entire non-Jw family. That meant my father, my sisters and brothers, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles----everyone. I guess that was the reason why I chose to stay away from relatives; I never let them get too close. I rationalized to myself that if I let them in my life and actually bonded with them and grow to love them it would far too painful to lose them when the time came, and I possibly couldn't withstand that pain and end up turning my back on Jehovah.

  How awful is that? Is this what the "God of Love" really wants from us? How can anyone in their right mind put that kind of pressure on a kid? It only got worse when I became a teenager. By 15 I had attempted suicide 3 times.

  This is why I hate remembering my childhood.
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  troubled mind

  My witness nephew would never attend family reunions when un -believing relatives might be present. He told my son he didn't want to get close with them since they were destined to die..He was like 12/13 at the time. Why has it taken so long for me to see how clearly sick this kind of thinking really was ?