Farkel:
I need to apologize to you. I think I may be guilty of a "Gilda Radner" (I don't know how to spell Roseanna ...)
I read your post two more times and your issue ISN'T the showing of charity toward those on the outside of the congregation but rather charity within the congregation.
I have been the recipient of charity from the congregation & I have silently helped many others. Even though I was just a 3 hour a month publisher with no "position" the congregation paid for my hospital bill and food for my family until I recovered from a life threatening illness. By the way I got no help from my witness parents even though they were fairly well-off and enjoying a retirment of leisure and travel. My witness parents were pleased that they didn't have to crack open a CD before it matured. I have known many generous witnesses and quite a few skunks too.
Even though I had a family of six I have on several occasions taken in people who had mental problems and needed a place to stay until they could get a handle on their problems. Many times I have secretly dropped off groceries at the homes of brothers who were having problems. To be honest I seldom contribute money to the contribution box.
After re-reading your post I see that we agree on one point at least. The distinction between "annointed" and "other-sheep" is kind of self-serving. It is supposed to be one flock.