for the DF'd: did you confess or were you ratted out?

by kid-A 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    Very interesting replies. I must say when I posted this thread I was under the impression that most DFings were due to confessions based on what I saw in my old king-dumb hall.

    This has been enlightening and disturbing and a potent reminder of how powerful the internal "spy" system is within the borg. Alternatively, its possible that those who "confessed" were more likely

    to want back in after DFing and hence would be underrepresented here on the board, hard to say. Thanks for your replies.

    Cheers

  • anewme
    anewme

    I called the elders myself and in the JC room confessed with a smirk on my face as I remember. (May have been a little intoxicated too! I had to drink a little just to get through those days)

    Mine was a mixture of emotions: anger, fury, rebellion, smart ass, sadness, and totally sick of the whole JW way of life.

    It hit me later how the dfing would hurt me in the heart. I spent nights and days screaming and crying over the loss of friends and precious nieces and nephews.
    I am slowly recovering from the biggest turmoil of my life. I call my exit from my 35 years as an elders wife, "My Fall From The Tower".

    Now I live in a new town, with new friends, and a new husband. A brand new life!
    I am proud of myself for leaving and not sneaking around.

  • lucifer
    lucifer

    A witness threatened to rat me out but I was gone before she could

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    confess, although they had heard rumors

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    Hi. Not new here, always read the posts. So, I finally registered. I was DF'd back in Oct 1992. I planned my escape for 3 months. The funny thing was I was a regular pioneer (Dad was an elder, Mom was a regular pioneer too) at the time, went out in service all day, had my own car at the time, and said to my mom at the end of the day, see you when I get home. Never went home, went straight to my boyfriends house, his parents knew I would be staying there until I made other arrangements. They took me in. Anyway, I wanted to be DF'd. The only way I personally would be able to was to do it cold heartedly. My Dad was the one who ratted on me, but really for me, wrong word. They eventually found out where I was staying...Dad would continue to call me to find out if I commited fornication...I kept saying no, it was the truth though, I was afraid to have sex...Luckily, my 1st boyfriend was a real nice guy...Eventually, my Dad called me and asked me the question again, I finally said yes after three months of him calling asking me the question....He said, do you regret it, I said no, I just regretted waiting so long, Ha...I never had a meeting with the committee, Dad asked he I would, I said no thank you, did not want to be a JW anymore. It was announced the following Tues. The whole congregation was in shock because we were this so called perfect little family....my parents relationship went down hill from there. Haven't seen my dad since Oct of 1992. My mom, did not see her for 8 years, we reunited in Sept 2000, it was like a dream come true...it was extremely tough at 1st, due to problems she had that I was not aware of...she got her life together now, there are so many conversations of how she regrets raising me that way....etc....I tell her the past is the past, its OK now. I have my mom back.

    Nowman

  • pratt1
    pratt1

    I confessed, but I had a reason.

    I was in a bad marriage and I wanted out.

    Unfortunately, she refused to accept my adultry, and forgave me, so I still couldn't get a scriptural divorce.

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Merry--love that!

    Nowman--awesome that you have your mom back!

    Anewme--great how you made a new life for yourself!

    Other posters--love to hear your stories!

    I went to a Christmas office party, got drunk, and danced all night. Everyone tried to hide the story from my JW co-worker but I finally confessed to her because I knew she would eventually find out or so I worried. She threatened to rat me out to the elders, so I called them, met with them, and said I don't want to be a JW anymore and they promptly DF me. Shocked everyone because I had always been such a goody goody but I was tired of being judged and tired of constantly being reminded that anything I did might "stumble" someone, and that nothing we ever did would be good enough for Jehovah.

    I got reinstated 2 years later because I missed my sister and my friends, and within a short time stopped attending meetings and reverted back to my wicked wordly ways. When the elders came sniffing around and saw me with my bearded brother, I'm sure they assumed he was my boyfriend, they got out of the car across the street and hand motioned and mouthed the words "Call us". I smiled and said ok. But I never went back to the BS and I guess they put me down as "Inactive", that was 14 years ago or so. And oddly enough, I have a relationship with my JW sister although I'm not sure why; I'm assuming because she thinks she'll be able to "Witness" to my kids. My kids are teenagers now so I warned them about that evil religion.

  • TuningFork
    TuningFork

    I spilled my guts and confessed the first time and was ratted out the second time.

    TuningFork (TwiceRemoved) *S*

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    I have never df'd or da'd. But there was an incident where someone threatened to run and rat me out.

    Long and short of it. JW guy that I loved flipped out and went off on some elders in the hall and got df'd. I refused to give up on him because I knew he was very depressed and I was concerned about suicide. I would go over to his place and stay (honestly no sex involved ... you would know based on his emotional state at the time).

    Some chick who was very "spiritual" would stalk him. He had told me that he would see her sitting in her car across from his apt. Well one night I left his place and THERE SHE WAS in all her glory. I walked over to my car all the while she is SCREAMING at me. Then she tries to block my car. I had a little sporty car, so I just zipped around her and took off. She chased after me in her car, beeping her horn and screaming out her window. Yes, she is really nuts and I am not just saying that to be funny. So I pulled up in front of her house. I waited for her to get out of her car and I very calmly said to her. "I understand that in your small little mind that I am wrong. I also know that you are obsessed with [] and that is why you sit outside his apt. But as much as you claim I am wrong, you are wrong for stalking him. I will give you the fantasy that he loves you and you love him, because I believe that is what allows you to live your life each and every day." And I turned around and walked away.

    The next day was Sunday. I went to the PO of the cong and told him what happened. He asked me if I was going to stop seeing the guy and I said no. The PO later came to me and told me that the chick did go to him and that all he said to her was "it has been taken care of and you need to leave them both alone."

    I guess I was fortunate based on other stories that have been posted in this forum.

    Though, I know she tried to get me in trouble with others because the story got out and fast. But people felt sorry for me (hey I am all for pity if it works in my favor) and they never shunned me over the fact that I was still in this person's life and refused to leave. Nothing further ever came of it.

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    My ex felt compelled to rat me out..........we were still technically married at the time, although in the process of splitting up........he came back to the apartment, broke into my account on the 'puter and spied on me. I don't hold it against him, really. We were both numb, trying to deal with ending our twenty year marriage........it was an awful time for both of us. He did what he felt he had to do, and I went and told the committee that I was basically moving on anyways, don't waste your time trying to save me. Terri

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