Parents' reaction to the baby

by Nosferatu 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lo-ru-hamah
    Lo-ru-hamah

    Nosferatu,

    I am sorry and understand what you are going through. The exact same reaction from my husbands parents. What about "a precious gift from God" do they not understand. I love babies and for the life of me don't know why I don't have more than one. But if you want to come and visit Texas I would love to spoil your baby like an aunt.

    Congratulations on your beautiful news.

    Loruhamah

  • KW13
    KW13

    Well despite this, i am sure you'll make a great parent!

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Nos, congratulations on parenthood!!!

    I'm so sorry your folks are apparently heartless. Whatever good they think they give to the world isn't your problem any more; you're a man, and will be a father, and now it's your turn to own your lifetime. Your kids will be put through the exact same thing with them as you were, if your parents get a chance. Your folk's issues are their problem, and they have lived their life the way they wanted. Give your kids the life that you deserved!

    much love

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    Hi Nos!

    I know how you feel believe it or not. My parents were quite phenomenal when it came to criticism, negativity, put-downs, dream disolution, etc. These people are never ever happy with anything at all. When I wanted to do something more positive with my life-----live overseas, move to another city, go to college-----all kinds of obstacles were put in my way. Given that, why do they then express disappointment in me and say things like "you're not living up to your potential?" when they were the ones who destroyed my "potential" to begin with? Ironic isn't it?

    I would love to send the baby a gift! How about setting up a gift registry like Scully suggested??

    Take care!

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Nos I can totally relate to your feelings, I'm glad you have this place to come and express them without fear of condemnation. It's good to get them out and it's also good to have a good cry a real good hard gut wrenching cry. My therapist said the harder you cry the kind where you are heaving and your belly is aching are the best cleansing cries. She said some people need hours of this type of crying to release all the emotional garbage. So cry! Cry hard! No one ever died from crying but many a soul has been lost from holding it in.

    It's amazing how people all around me have been wrong on so many things. "When you get older, you'll come to appreciate your parents and feel that love for them". I was told this when I was a teenager. I'm 28 now, and I don't feel that way at all. I've also been told that babies change people, especially grandparents. I have a feeling that's not going to happen either.

    We're all given two chances at this parent thing, first one you can't pick your parents or as a little kid tell them they aren't good parents to you, second chance you get to be the parent and it's your chance to be the kind of parent your child really needs.

    I know you'll do the second part really well and your children will be proud to call you their daddy! Make it fun and make it all the things you wanted and needed as a child. You get a second chance kiddo and a well lived life is the best revenge!

  • LDH
    LDH
    My parents were quite phenomenal when it came to criticism, negativity, put-downs, dream disolution, etc. These people are never ever happy with anything at all. When I wanted to do something more positive with my life-----live overseas, move to another city, go to college-----all kinds of obstacles were put in my way. Given that, why do they then express disappointment in me and say things like "you're not living up to your potential?" when they were the ones who destroyed my "potential" to begin with? Ironic isn't it?

    Hey Soledad,

    Are we related?

    You can tell a kill joy. Whenever you relate good news, they feel obligated to bring you down!

    Nos, I bet you and Mrs. Nos are going to be totally into positivity. An experience like a JW childhood teaches you a lot of things you never wanted to learn.

  • sf
    sf

    I surely hesitated in opening this thread because I knew what it was truly about in essence.

    This religions followers are absolutely sickening.

    Just when I calm myself down over the thought of how they may be trapped in their thinking and feelings, I see this crap. It sets my blood a-boiling again.

    But thanks for sharing for the lurkers to WITNESS the abominations of this sick cult.

    {{{{ warm hugs }}}}

    sKally

  • Scully
    Scully

    (((( Soledad ))))

    My parents were quite phenomenal when it came to criticism, negativity, put-downs, dream disolution, etc. These people are never ever happy with anything at all. When I wanted to do something more positive with my life-----live overseas, move to another city, go to college-----all kinds of obstacles were put in my way. Given that, why do they then express disappointment in me and say things like "you're not living up to your potential?" when they were the ones who destroyed my "potential" to begin with? Ironic isn't it?

    I sooooo know where you're coming from. Every time I've voiced a regret about things I wanted to do (like finish college after high school, or travel, etc) my parents, knowing full well that they actively discouraged me from doing those things, like to "remind" me that "it was your choice". Never mind that their support was not only totally lacking, but that they heaped on guilt about how I could be better spending my time Pioneering™ or helping the congregation.... so that if I did anything that I wanted to do, there was no satisfaction in it whatsoever.

  • Es
    Es

    Oh darls thats terrible...i too am pregnant and havnt even told my parents...i know its harsh but they dont deserve to be grandparents, they havnt spoken to my son for 6 months.

    At least you will know how to be the parents that yours never were if that makes sense

    All the best

    es

  • EAGLE-1
    EAGLE-1

    My parental units have seen my kids maybe 4 times in 20 years.Thats good for me.It used to bother me.This may seem morbid but I thought that my parents might even kill my kids just so they could bring them back in there freaky little fantasy paradise.I had even heard a rumor of such a thing happening without the paradise part of course.Good parents are all they need.One of the first things that bugged me when I was a kid in that org. was the coldness and how the JWs could say all the non jws will die including there children will DIE at the end.When I ask my Mom WHY? She said kids tend to be like their parents .WELL I AM NOT.I love children.

    You are a good mother I am sure.Remember to teach your child that evil does not allways have a scary face.

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