DATING 101: Dating Interacially and my opposite: Will it Work Out?

by stillAwitness 45 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  rebel8

  But I'm happy and that's all that should matter.

  heee...I've heard those famous last words many times.....even said them myself a few times.

  IMO cultural differences are the biggest to overcome....at least that has been my personal experience. By culture I mean not only your ethnic group's social practices but also the culture of your specific family and how that shaped who you are. (IMO each family has its own unique brand of culture that affects a personality a L O T.)

  You have a lot of differences with this guy. It could certainly work out; it may not. Time will tell.

  My personal experience was dating different types of guys was fun at the beginning of the relationship...learning experience etc....but in the end we couldn't connect on the things that really matter in permanent relationships. I married the one with a cultural background very similar to mine...we "get" each other.
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  4nick8

  Hi Stilla-

  Every once in a while I stop lurking and start typing...

  Having been born to Japanese and Russian parents and later adopted into an all Japanese family. and having married a Norwigen woman, I feel slightly qualified to answer your question.

  Long term Inter-racial relationships have a very good chance of surviving in todays American society. Here in Los Angeles it has become almost a non-issue. In Georgia things may be a little different , however racism is at least less overt. I make the assumption that you both are American.

  The real issue, as I see it, has not to do with race but with culture and social-economics. It is my opinion that we live in a classest society and those differences should hold more importance. Also, two people from very different cultures can have fundamental differences that could hamper a long term relationship. Child rearing could cause a deep divide with respect to the aforementioned.

  In addition, it has been written in this thread that opposites attract. While this may be true, the long term implications could be frustrating at best. Culture and whatnot aside, one only has to imagine a partner who is content to spend their leisure time watching movies on a couch while their spouse likes nothing more than sky-diving.

  Having said all that, I think the real issue here is not how much money or what color, rather the question is about compromising. As soon as two people get to gether in any situation, one will push their agenda on another.The ability to change is the key factor in a long term relationship. Think back to how things were ten years ago compared to today and you should be able to see how things constantly evolve. Imagine yourself ten years from now and I'm sure you will be something else again. Life and relationships are a crapshoot at best and people with the best intentions often grow apart. It has been my experience that those couples who are empithetic towards each other seem to survive whatever life throws at them.

  Someone once told me that we should walk a mile in our partners shoes. there is two reasons for this. The first is that your a mile away from them and the second is that you have their shoes. just kidding. Good Luck

  tracy
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  MrsBee

  Im a Black woman married to a Sicilian man..

  The only issues we have are the ones that have to do with our spiritual/religious beliefs... He is a former JW who still holds strong to his beliefs, me, Im getting to know GOD without the middle man :lol: Other than that, we love and respect each other and regardless of race if you have those two things you will work, you can be different and be perfect for each other :)
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  misspeaches

  I'm in an interracial relationship and have been for over a year now. We are planning on getting married. You know the weird thing, well here down under its such a non issue with most people that we have been going out for a year when someone asked me a question about us being an interacial couple. It didn't click with me at the time but a couple of days later I said to my man 'did you realise we were an interacial couple??' I was seriously astounded. It just wasn't something I had thought about much before... I'm like you Stilla, I love him and that's whats important not the colour of our skin.
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  rassillon

  StillA,

  I am a 30ish honkey who is married to a black chick. Have been so for getting close to 10 years, married that is, I have been a honkey all my life.

  I am not hippieish though, I was born in the country, raised admidst a lot of white people who ran the gamit(sp?) from really racist to not at all. This up until I was mid-teen. My parents raised me to not be prejudice at all. Which I am not. Then I became real close friends with family from JA. In some ways they are closer than my own family. I grew up pretty well balanced, and am sort of a social chamilion. I can be "white preppy" "white country" "redneck" "black" "seudo-jamaican" whatever. Mostly I am El-Corporate-O at work and just a little childish at home.

  My wife is on the dark side, and absolutely gorgeous!

  Most of our problems are external. My wife has a hard time with peoples looks and comments, not as much now that I have trained her. I mostly don't hear them cause I don't give a flying F**K what people think. When dating I had problems with her mom being prejudice against me, but after about 5 years she loves me. Mostly cause I make a s**t load of money and make a good husband. All this and her mom is a long time pioneer. My parents love my wife, I think even more than they love me, and so do my siblings. In fact I think all my friends now like her more than they like me. But hey I am pretty much the Token White Guy in my group...can't dance and all! (well, I can a little)

  Anyway if this was not enough I really love my wifes B double O T Y!

  My wife loves to shop too. I like to be outside.

  There are many differences that we have but we do have things in common too, there does need to be something real at the base, but you don't have to be clones to make it work.

  My personality lends me to be able to endure crap, hell, half the time I don't even know someone has a problem and it is never anyone I know cause they would get a size 13 straight up the rectum. Wifey on the other hand is delicate and I have to protect and shield her, getting better with time but not the cold hard a**hole that I am.

  I say all this to say, if you have something solid, screw what other people think. BUT make sure that you are getting out of the relationship what you need.

  peace
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  kid-A

  I have been in relationships with non-caucasians (black, asian) and they were no different than relationships I had

  with other whites. Any issues that come up with a mixed race relationship are externally created. If you are really hot for

  someone, skin colour makes no difference whatsoever. If any problems ever do arise, its usually due to cultural differences. My wife

  is white, but we come from vastly different cultural backgrounds, and sometimes issues arise due to different expectations about certain

  things based on different cultural and social expectations, but real love overcomes all these petty human differences.