Told one of my Return Visits that I wont be coming around anymore

by XBEHERE 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE


    We were out with a group on Saturday and circumstances came up that I had a chance, for a change, to do one of my Rv's alone. I knocked on the door and she came out asking if I was dropping off the new magazines. Since I had them I said yes and then proceeded to tell her that I can't drop them off anymore. She of course asked why and I paused for a long time then finally blurted it out "I don't believe in them anymore".

    I have a good relationship with this older woman so I just explained that I didn't want to get into detail and had people waiting for me but I just couldnt give her something that teaches things I dont think are true. I then pleaded with her not to tell any other JWs that may come again that I had told her this since everyone knew she used to be my return visit. I

    I just can't believe I did that, this person is now the only one I have told how I feel. I was so nervous walking back to the car I thought I was going to faint. I like this lady and I didn't want to bring her garbage anymore. What was I thinking, now even though I trust this woman she may tell some other JW if they go to her door...I mean its now a possibility since my "secret" is out. Anyway just wanted to share.

  • Kudra
    Kudra

    wow. That's really interesting- I don't think I've ever heard of anyone doing anything like that.
    It sounds like it was pretty un-premeditated (if that's a word).
    Was you heart just racing when you got back to the "cargroup"?

  • unique1
    unique1

    Excellent, that took some balls!!! I doubt other JW's will even go there if they all know she is your call. She probably appreciates your honesty.

  • Clam
    Clam

    Phew XBE - good for you, but you're obviously worried. Don't you think it might be an idea to go back to the lady's house, explain your thoughts and feelings in some detail and ask her not to mention it to any other Dubs. If she realises you're concerned and what's at stake for you, she'll know how important it is to keep quiet.

    Was she really getting into "the truth"???

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    I have wanted to do that so many times.

    I had regular calls, we talked about so many other things, work, money, real estate, and etc.

    I think my wife turned over my regulars to somebody, ... and I don't know who.

  • daystar
    daystar

    That took some cajones. I really respect you coming clean with the woman.

    As someone else suggested, you may make a point of visiting with her again and explaining in more detail. I'm sure she's a bit confused as you knocked on her door in the first place, right?

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE

    My heart was racing the whole time I was there....and no it wasnt premeditated in the sense that I singled her out but I have been wanting to do that for a while to my return visits, I guess I picked her because I liked her. I think I will go back and explain again why I did what I did, she deserves a better explanation.

  • ButtLight
    ButtLight

    Wow, I dont think I could have dont that. But I agree about you visiting her again. If you do, explain disfellowshipping and shunning. That may help her to understand why you dont want her to mention it to the other jw's.

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    XBETHERE,

    Do you know for sure this lady is not an ex-witness herself? She could be and you would never know it. I have a dear JW lady who brings me magazines& publications all the time. She is an thinks I am an interested person but I am disfellowshipped and it is the only way I can get current literature. I would recommend you go back alone sometimes in casual clothes and put your confidence in her and talk to her. I would be so very thrilled if this dear JW who comes by here to see me for 2 years would say that to me. I would gladly help her if she wanted it. I would never tell this gal I was a an ex-jw unless she expressed dissatisfaction about it.

    I did the same thing you did with some customers I had in my sewing business that I would place magazines with. One helped me to leave my JW life and was very supportive. The other lady was too, though she was a bit shocked when I told her the whole story she was 100% for me. Neither of them ever told the JW's anything I said. You would be surprised how supportive worldly people are for those in the JW's who want to leave.

    I know you were so scared as you walked back to the car, but good going that took so much courage and is a step to setting yourself free. You were very very brave.

    Balsam

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

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