by Check_Your_Premises 11 Replies latest jw friends
...exact moment when you knew the JW didn't have the truth?
I have been rivited by the stories of all the epiphanies that took place.
But actually I think there was a great deal that must have taken place to ALLOW that moment.
What gave you the confidence in yourself to trust your own thoughts? What personal growth took place? What environment led to the awakening of your authentic self?
CYP
My doubts had been evolving since early childhood but the moment of critical mass was the talk at the district convention announcing the "new light" about the 1914 generation. This was the last and final straw and it became crystal clear that they were just a group of senile old farts sitting behind desks in brooklyn, that would say anything, manipulate anyone, alter any "truth" to suit their own transient needs and profit margins. This was my "old man behind the curtain" scene from the Wizard of Oz.
I don’t know I guess what helped was knowing that I was doing the right thing, as much as I loved many of the “friends” loving them wasn’t worth staying and supporting an organization that I knew hurt people. That’s why I stopped doing service almost as soon as I learned the truth about the “truth”; I did not want to risk helping someone come in to the org.
lola
You wrote:
...exact moment when you knew the JW didn't have the truth?When I saw the year text for 1974.
I remember being very annoyed at a WT article that basically chastized JW old-timers who back in the day had done jail time instead of alternative service, for being upset over the "new light" regarding alternative service that came out in the 1990's.
And then they put the gist of that same article on a page in the following year's "Examining the Scriptures Daily" book, complete with the same stoopid WTS-style questions at the bottom, something like 'Why should Christians whose conciences prevented them from accepting alternative service in the past not be upset because of new light that has been shed on this issue?'
That was probably one of the first times that I felt like, this is bullshit. And, once you cross that line in your mind once, the whole thing starts to crumble.
But that's not answering your question, is it? 9/11 had a huge effect on me. It really knocked me out of my dub comfort zone. Even though I was having serious doubts prior, for some reason it was this event that made me realize, sadly, that JW's were not the center of the world, and that our religion wasn't too different from that of the hijackers, at least in some respects. And after missing a couple of months worth of meetings back in the fall of 2001, it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I could build a different life than the fundy-holic one I had been leading for 10 years.
At work one day last year, i was looking for the nearest Jehovah's Witnesses Convention Center to me. I accidentally logged onto this forum instead. I had many doubts before, but this was the exact moment, when I found minds that thought like me but were armed with facts.
I rember very clearly the exact moment I knew they had been leading me around by the nose all my life. I was sitting on the floor in the library comparing the book "LIFE-HOW DID IT GET HERE? BY EVOLUTION OR BY CREATION?" with a book it quotes from extensively called "THE NECK OF THE GIRAFFE" by Francis Hitching. I compared the quotes in the CREATION book with what was actually written in this other book and saw that the quotes did not convey the original meaning from this book. I had not attended meetings since 1990 and this was now 1993 but it was at that point that I decided I wasn't going back.
How did I get to this point?
Well unlike most JW's I went to college. Of course I was an outcast because of this but as a loner it didn't bother me much.
Then I went and without telling anyone took a biology class on evolution and that is how I ended up in the library studying both of these books on the floor in a back corner.
I was shocked to discover the discrepancy in the L:IFE HOW DID IT GET HERE book. Up until then I always believed they were telling me the truth. But before I left the library I decided that a group that could not get a quote right was not going to tell me how to run my life.
Then I got angry at the past: several surgeries as a sick child with my mother refusing blood transfusions. Not even being allowed to store and use my own blood when I had a thyroid cyst removed when I was 16. Being a sickly and unpopular kid in school and then having to deal with the rules of this religion on top of that. Like I wasnt bad off enough without them.
The friend who died sick in a hospital bed after confesing some mistake and still being disfellowshipped. They would have never known without the confession. He was very sick and then grieveing being disfellowshipped. It is only my opinion but I can't get out of my head that they sped along his death or even caused it. Then few JW's attended the funeral.
I told my mother about comparing these books and the quotes but she insisted it was accidental with no intention to mislead on their part.
I decided to put the past behind me and started selling my old books on ebay but as I type this I now realize that the past still does and always will be a part of me and will probably hurt. So I'm keeping this here blue bookl and putting it back on the self as a reminder to me that my past made me what I am today and I'm going to be just fine.
Again, Bethel (France).
Came there as a zealous pioneer, 100 % into "theocratic" activities since I had left high school.
Met open-minded Bethelites who had a lot of other interests in life, and freely shared about the books they were reading, the music they were listening, their hobbies (astronomy, mountain climbing, etc).
Saw how the organisation really worked in practice, with its hierarchy, competitions, frustrations.
Became increasingly aware of the logical pitfalls of the WT literature I had to translate.
Started learning Biblical languages and became increasingly wary of the NWT.
Shared in private Bible studies to prepare the weekly TMS readings.
One turning point was when a close friend (the DO's daughter I mentioned in the other thread) told me she had never understood why Jesus had to die for us. I found myself repeating to her the WT "ransom" doctrine (which of course she knew perfectly) and felt more and more silly as she kept on smiling... this indeed did not make sense. That was the start of incredibly free, half-serious conversations which led both of us to a completely different outlook on Christianity.
At that point I was already out, although I didn't realise it yet.
I think I have always had instilled in me from my non witness Dad and Grandfather the ability to use critical thought. My whole life I have struggled internally " is this really the truth " , I would waver back and forth for years . In the past few years several critical moments have lead me to the path I am now on . Facing a life and death situation with my mother and finding out I had no support from so called witness friends was a major eye opener .Yet who stood by me was my Da'd brother whom I had partially shunned for many years. The catalyst that finally allowed me to search into forbidden waters ( apostste sites ) was a Dr.Phil show. It was about two girls raised in a mind controlling religion. I connected my experience so much with the brain washing ideas these girls went through . At the end of the show he had a link to Steve Hassan's website dealing with cults , and brain washing methods . That lead to Randy Watters site and ultimately here. It's been a roller coaster year full of emotion. But I am feeling a happiness , and respect for myself like no other time in my life. There are many bumps in the road to come I'm sure . Haven't been contacted by the elders ...yet but it's coming .Have not made a stand with Witness relatives yet, but it will happen sooner than later.
Where were you at PART 2: What changes took place leading up to the.... ...exact moment when you knew the JW didn't have the truth?
For me personally it was @ my sons wedding. He & his wife to be were deemed decent, and privileged enough by the all important BOE to have use of the KH, so that’s where the wedding took place.
Upon arriving to the hall I was the typical nervous dad. Nervous perhaps because of the enormity of the occasion, as well as the tension weddings seem to create. Especially those witness wedding(s) where there is extra scrutiny from the all important BOE. Anyway I happened to invite one of the “elders” that made up that particular clan, who because he’s such an asshole, never gets invited to anything. I made the mistake of breaking tradition, and invited him. Big Mistake!
That idiot came over to me as the wedding ceremony was about to begin and ask me ‘why is “so & so” hugging your son, isn’t he disfellowshipped?” (I have 3 sons, who my oldest was d’fd) Now this was a friend of my sons whom he had not seen in 3 or 4 years, as he moved away years ago. It was totally innocent for them to hug. I told that idiot “elder” I don’t know why he’s hugging my son, why don’t you go ask him. I was totally stunned! For me, that threw the rest of the occasion of kilter.
This was the beginning of the end for me and my family. It dawned on me at my sons wedding that there’s no f___king way this is God’s organization. It’s an organization filled with sick idiots.
Dismembered
