Im in love with a witness

BigMann

Hey check it out. I really dont know if I shold be sharing my feelings with strangers but at this point I really dont know where to turn.

I've been dating this lady for over a year now. Though we have other issues in our relationship that's causing problems, the main issue is that she is a witness, and i am not. Nevertheless, we love each other and wish we didnt have to sneak around to see each other in fear of her being disfellowshipped. I can honestly say since she's been in my life, I've been turning my life around. I no longer drink or smoke. I barely associate with any of my friends. Most of the friends I do have dont even have my new phone number. I've made efforts to change my way of life and way of thinking. I went to book study before and I found it interesting and came out with a different attitude. I dont neccessarily agree with some of theories and rules of being a witness. Holidays are not a big deal to me. But not being able to talk to or see any family members who are not witnesses is something I take issue with. Im in agony because I dont want my lady to be disfellowshipped because of me, but she is someone I love and want to marry and I know I would be totally misarable without her. I just think it's not fair. I dont know if anyone has been in that situation before. So if you can, please share your insight and judge me not before you do so.

SickofLies

Well maybe you should just start studing and get baptized and solve the problem that way.... NOT!!

We get a great number of people in your situation on this board. There are many questions to ask yourself live, if we have kids am I ok with them dying because my wife doesn't want them to have blood? Am I ok with my in laws shunning me because I'm not a JW? Would I feel ok if my gf got disfellowshiped and shunned by all her friends and family because of me?

I would suggest you research the witness and present her with the information you find and see if she would be willing to leave and live a normal life with you.

jgnat

You have lots of company.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/77159/1.ashx

I am a little disturbed that you would cut off your entire social network for this love.

ballistic

I dont neccessarily agree with some of theories and rules of being a witness.

Surely you realise that being in the Jehovah's Witness is an "all-or-nothing" way of life... not a religion, but a cult. There have been improvements in your life, but I'm sure if you met a lady who ran a health spar organisation, you probably would have given up smoking and drinking.

But can you imagine being cut off from family and friends or even your partner like some here have for minor discrepancies in this way of life?

carla

You need to seriously research this cult before you make any commitment to this woman. You have already given up all your friends for her. Next you will be asked to give up any independent thinking. That is in their literature. If you join and marry her expect them to control what you wear, your facial hair, what you may or may not read and watch, your sex life, how to raise your children, etc., etc., etc.. Look before you leap. Scratch that, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

jaredg

your girlfriend will not get disfellowshipped unless she admits to the elders that she has committed fornication or some other gross sin. just dating you, as long as you haven't fooled around, isn't enough to get her DF'd. the fact that she is dating you tells me that she isn't really a strong witness anyway. the best chance you have for the lasting happiness of both of you is to get her OUT. however it is possible to be married, you would be considered an unbelieving mate, while she is JW and you are not, but she might experience some negative energy from the congregation without anything official being announced.

Nosferatu

If I didn't know better, I'd think that this post was a joke...

However, I doubt it is.

I can honestly say since she's been in my life, I've been turning my life around. I no longer drink or smoke.

Man, I quit smoking without a JW in my life. If anything, the JWs drove me to smoke. Check it out:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/110532/1.ashx

I barely associate with any of my friends.

How does this make you a good person? You've been dating this JW for one year. You've been friends with these people for how many years? More than one? Who has proven themselves to be more faithful?

I went to book study before and I found it interesting and came out with a different attitude.

You poor bastard. You had to sit through that Daniel book. I heard it's worse than the Revelation book. The reason why they don't study that book anymore is because they changed the date of Armageddon again.

But not being able to talk to or see any family members who are not witnesses is something I take issue with.

What's the big deal? I mean, they're like friends who are related to you. You've known them all your life. How does that compare to a JW you've been dating for only a year? Why not sever ties with those you trust, and jump head first into a concrete ~~road~~ relationship of one year.

Im in agony because I dont want my lady to be disfellowshipped because of me, but she is someone I love and want to marry and I know I would be totally misarable without her.

I'm guessing you're 18 years old or more. How the hell did you survive those 18 years (+) without this woman in your life? You must have been a miserable bastard all your life.

Now, to lecture you:

You're being completely irrational. You're head is stuck in a cloud of emotions. Infatuation makes a person do stupid things like join a cult. You're not in love. Love isn't conditional. Her love for you is conditional if you join her religion. If you make the decision that you're not joining, she'll dump your ass. That's not love, that's slavery.

There are millions of women out there who aren't JWs. There are many out there who will accept you for the person you are. They don't care that your friends and family don't have the same beliefs as you. They'll love you regardless.

This woman is getting you to put your balls into her hands. She's going to castrate you and make you a miserable excuse for a human being. Your life will consist of meetings, door to door work, and you're gonna get tired.

If you marry this woman, she will love the Watchtower Society, the Governing Body, The Elders, the congregation, and her JW relatives before she will love you. If you screw up, she'll stop showing any love she has for you and will shun you.

This isn't just a matter of joining her faith, it's a major life-altering decision. Trust me, you'll be much better off if you RUN. I've been there and it sucks.

Kristofer

BigMann,

Welcome to the board. Please read up on as much as you can. You really need to think about what you believe. I'm not a JW and I was in a relationship with a female witness. We even talked about getting married and our little relationship was a secret the entire time. I know exactly where you're coming from. Well, she couldn't take leading the double life and we split in January. What really split us up was talk about children. Would you be able to handle your children being told that you are under satan's system? that you are wordly pagan who has evil practices? Will you want to completely deprive your children of the joy that Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthday's bring? Or are you ready to become a slave to a group of old farts in Brooklyn? Trust me, any doctrine they put out, you will be expected to follow with out question or objection. It can really intrude on your relationship. I'm not saying break up with her. If anyone understands the power of love it's me. I haven't given up completely either. But I think your best bet for a lasting relationship is to stay genuinely interested in her faith, but bring up your objections. Do NOT make it seem like you are attacking the faith, but rather have sincere questions about certain issues. Also DO NOT tell her the information and the issues came from a website on the internet. She will most likely immediately disregard the info and won't even look at it or consider it.

Anyway, that's all the helpful info I can think of now.. PM me if you want to talk.

MsMcDucket

Homie, it ain't worth it. If she loves you, she needs to change. I don't advise joining a cult just to get a woman. That religion is totally unrealistic in its demands on its followers. As my mom use to say "When you make your bed, you have to lay in it".

Honesty

You are buying a couple bags of these by dating this JW:

Im in love with a witness

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