How do I get this person off my back??

Darkside Blues

After years of silence (and hence peace) someone from my JW days has decided to track me down in the hopes of "catching up." Now she knows where my new house is, and more than likely my phone number as well (makes me grateful for caller ID.) This JW did something to me when I was in high school that I will never, ever forgive her for; what's more, I don't even like her as a person - she's overbearing, egotistical and can be smothering at times. She doesn't realize what an unpleasant person she is to be around, JW or not (I compare her to the dementors from HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban - she can suck all the happiness out of a room.) And, as one would expect since she's a JW, she's not interesting to talk to; it's like talking to someone who seriously lacks social skills (admittedly I'm not a sociable person myself, but compared to her, I'm a social butterfly.) So far my only protective measures have been to play the "I'm too busy" card, which is actually true since I work two jobs, and carefully screening calls, making sure not to answer.

How can I get it through her skull that she is not my friend and never will be? She burned that bridge years ago and I'll be thrice damned if she's trying to rebuild it after all this time. I like to keep my circle of friends small and tight, and I only want to be around people who genuinely care about me and share my interests. What's the best form of sublimation to take to essentially tell her to f*** off?

And in case you're wondering: I'm still in the process of "fading out," since I never got baptized, and I'm worried about this situation since this can blow the whole thing. :-/

upside/down

Grow some balls...and tell her exactly how you feel.

Man I can't stand the Witnoids!

u/d

juni

She's trying to "right" things with ya before A, so keep her at bay. (didn't mean to be poetic)

Tell her she's crazy and stay away. That way she has to live in fear of being blasted away at A because she was a snoot to fellow believers.

Now that's poetic justice.

Juni

Dismembered

Just tell her to buzz off.

Dismembered

Clam

Darkside you sound like a very articulate person who is more than capable of putting this person in the picture. You say that she did you a wrong in high school. Can't you simply tell her that due to this incident you could never see her as a friend and then tell her you simply find it unpleasant being in the same room as her? This needn't impinge on JW issues. ~~Or just tell her to f*ck off.~~

Double Edge

Clarity is everything. It sounds like you have already come up with the perfect 'sound-bite':

I like to keep my circle of friends small and tight, and I only want to be around people who genuinely care about me and share my interests. What's the best form of sublimation to take to essentially tell her to f*** off?

To be more subtle, tell her you have very little time, your plate is totally full right now with friends, to add one more would take away from the others....sorry, but that's the way it's got to be. Best of luck... check back in a year or two and see if I'm taking on any more friends.... I can put you on the waiting list though.

trevor

DarkSide Blues

tell her to f*** off?

You got it!

osmosis

From the sounds of it, you don't owe this person any particular courtesy, so you can fall back on simple common courtesy, the kind you owe to strangers.

Just politely and succinctly tell her you do not appreciate her company, and prefer not to associate with her. No need to be rude or use four-letter words, but no need to pretend either.

If the polite-yet-firm approach doesn't work, then by all means tell her to go fuck herself.

greendawn

Since she radiates such a negative aura around her and even her mere presence is disagreeable you have to be firm and tell politely that you don't want her around you eg I appreciate the fact that you want to be helpful but as things are now it's better that we keep our distance.

willyloman

Tell her you're in recovery (make something up, alcoholism, addiction, nervous breakdown) and your doctor has made it clear you are to avoid toxic relationships at all costs, so you aren't going to be able to communicate with her for a long time, perhaps years.

If you want to soften it a bit, you might add that after you are fully recovered, you'll think about looking her up.

How do I get this person off my back??

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