How do I get this person off my back?? (page 2)

luna2

It doesn't sound like you give a flying hockey puck if this obnoxious gal gets her little feelers hurt or not so I'd make it crystal clear that you aren't interested in her "friendship". I'm not generally a mean person but I think I'd rather stop hiding and screening calls sooner rather than later.

Honesty

Just tell her that your circle of friends brings peace and joy to you because they focus on positive things all the time.

Works like a charm on the dubs.

Virgochik

Won't she just buzz off eventually, if you never answer your phone or the door? Even she will look for someone more available to smother, won't she?

RevFrank

Tell her to get lost...PERIOD.

Lady Lee

Try this (or something close to it):

"Seeing you again it has brought up some very bad feelings about what happened years ago. Trust is an important part of any relationship/friendship andf you destroyed any hope of my ever trusting you again. I have no intention of forgetting what happened then because I don't ever want it to happen again and think it would be better to limit our friendship."

The beauty of this is that if what she did was something she would not want the elders or anyone else to know, it should be enough to get her to back off. You would also be letting her know that the past is not forgotten or forgiven. You aren't being nasty about it- just assertive.

There is no reason to try to spare her feelings. She doesn't seem to care if people get hurt by what she does.

And you most certainly aren't going to let her have another shot at you.

Darkside Blues

Thanks for your suggestions, guys. I definitely need to be honest with her. Even if I was a JW, I still wouldn't want to be around her, and I may as well get that out in the open. :P

Berean

It depends on how you consider yourself in the context of personal relationships with current Witnesses.

If you want to continue with relationships with current Witnesses, the best way is to simply ignore the person.

If you do not want to continue in personal relationships with current Witnesses, tell the person to discontinue contact with you. She will make sure that your attitude is exposed.

I think that you want to continue contact with current Witnesses. That is completely understandable; if that is the case, ignore the person. If she pursues you, find a way to cast doubt on her motivation. If she is as you say, she has alienated a lot of people in the Congregation; they will believe you.

Dune

I usually dont answer the phone when people harass me.

You can also just tell her straight up how you feel. Thats always good.

A Paduan

I thought that confrontation was one of the things that jws enjoy - don't give it to her - don't give her anything to enjoy, including even a moment of your time - ignore as you are for now, even if it is a small effort - and see if she moves on - if not, think it out again later - but don't worry

anewme

It is hard for a witness to express herself truthfully when it comes to ending a friendship. I know you say you werent baptized but you have been influenced. JWs just are not trained to express their true feelings. In fact they are discouraged from doing so. They are told to memorize the society's views on everything and spout only those.

So it is understandable that you find yourself unable and ill equipped to end an unwanted association.
But if you are going to leave the org and live in the real world in reality you will need to be assertive to protect yourself from unwanted association. You need to learn how to set your boundaries and limits with regard to other people. In the org we are defensless against Sister Inyourbusiness or Sister Seriouslydisturbed and are counseled to be kind and patient and loving. This can lead to mental illness (ours) and or cancer (my theory)

1. If you had property and people started to camp out on it without your permission and in addition were rude to you, you would have no problem telling them to leave and clear out and or call the authorities.
Same for people who enter your life and are unwanted.

2. If you were at a restaurant and when your order came everyone at the table started to help themselves to your plate you would tell them to eat their own food and leave your plate alone.

3. If you were at a doctors office for a tooth problem and the doc started to probe around in another orafice, you would definitely put a stop to it!

See, you are capable of setting your boundaries!

"I am happy with my few friends and have no time for more, goodbye"
This will work just fine.

How do I get this person off my back??

Share this