Tonight was the funeral service. My dad and sister came for the viewing, as they had planned to, but left before the funeral service. My sister had the extra excuse that they had their circuit overseer this week and meeting that night.
I overheard when my aunt came up to them. She approached them first. She said she understood. Over all the years, she understood their stance and said it was OK, not to feel bad about it.
My brother and I stayed for the whole thing. Before the funeral, the VFW post that he was a part of gave a great military service (the first I had seen). Then, my uncle was moved over to the chapel room for the service.
A cousin (my uncle's daughter) saw me there close to the time of the service and asked whether my dad was still around. I told her no, for religious reasons. She nodded as if she understood. Then she asked if I was staying and I said I was. She looked a little surprised, clasped my hand, and thanked me.
That right there says it. Sure, she "understands" my dad's convictions, but my staying comforted her.
The service actually was pretty religious. There wasn't much talk about my uncle at all. In some ways it was kind of like a JW service. Quoting scriptures and repeating their belief of what happens at death. But even so, it was all in the talk. Everything was kind of generic. And it was moving. I think of all the dry, boring, repetetive JW services I sat through. This was nothing like it.
Tommorow is the burial. I don't know why that's offensive. But my dad isn't going. It could be that there's only so much pain he can take. He's always been a little skittish about death and funerals. My sister has something to do in the morning, but can't remember what at the moment.
Before the funeral, my dad said he wasn't going to stay for the service because he didn't want to be lectured by a minister (as if the minister was going to personally lecture him). And who cares? Like somebody else here said, what's he afraid of? Is his belief system so fragile that it's going to crumble from hearing an opposing view? Why go door-to-door if it is that fragile?
All-in-all, my dad and sister spent over 2 hours there. So I do give them credit, but... could have stayed for the service.
Thanks to everyone who has wished me well in all of this. I've always cared about my uncle and will miss him. At least his suffering and struggle with memory loss are over.
