Need help guys, please!!!

brutusmaximus

My wife and I got baptised at 16 which is now 21 years ago and we haven't been at the borg for 7/8 years but for some reason they still class you as a witness, weird!!

Anyway my sister in law is getting married (Sept 06) and wanted my wife her sister to be a brides maid, she met the PO he said read a 1984 WT and let me know what you think. They read it and said they wanted her sister as bridesmaid so he said ok, no problem. So the next week they go out and buy dresses etc and get very excited about the whole thing. Then out of the blue we hear someone has said she can't be a brides maid she has birthdays and xmas so her "worldly lifestyle" is stopping her from doing it not us. It now turns out that she can't sign the register either. I am sooooooo angry, digusted, disgruntled, heart broken for my wife who is in deep despair (she only has one sister). The thing is I was my brothers best man 4 years ago (I had to fight my case but did it) my brothers wife had her sister who wasn't at the meetings and who was living with a guy unmarried.

So can you help me fight this please???????? Is there anything I can do/show that might make them think again?? I know what I want to do but could end up in prison which wouldn't be good for anyone.

Sorry for going on but any help would be greatly appreciated

Regards

BM

candidlynuts

i dont have any advice but will bump this back up so that maybe someone will see this and give you some guidance.

general

Since Elders follow all society directives, the only thing I can suggest is using that against them. Sometimes elders need to be reminded of the societies rules. When I was getting ready to leave the organization, I decided to piss them off by wearing a turtle neck instead of a tie to the meeting. They tried to tell me this was against the WTS codes of " proper dress and groom at the meetings." Well it caused a big uproar in the conregation and someone actually did the research using the WTS publications and showed the elders that just because someone did not wear a tie but chose to wear other modest attire did not mean in anyway shape or fashion that they were "detracting from the Honor that surrounds Jehovah's house."

All i can say is use their words and publications against them and drive them into a corner so that they don't have a leg to stand on

General

Dismembered

If your wifes sister cares for her, (your wifes) feelings then she could have the wedding other than the KH. Then the idiot "elders" will have no control over her then, and then your wifes sister can do what she wants.

Remember your wifes sister, and your wife, are/will be dealing with some of the meanest power-mongers that exist. They are as bad as the taliban. This is their chance to get back @ you and your wife for not going to meetings. Nice huh! Oh the love they have.

Dismembered

bikerchic

Probably nothing you can do to change the stand the Elders™ are taking, setting an example for the R&F and all that.....

Then out of the blue we hear someone has said she can't be a brides maid she has birthdays and xmas so her "worldly lifestyle" is stopping her from doing it not us. It now turns out that she can't sign the register either. I am sooooooo angry, digusted, disgruntled, heart broken for my wife who is in deep despair (she only has one sister). The thing is I was my brothers best man 4 years ago (I had to fight my case but did it) my brothers wife had her sister who wasn't at the meetings and who was living with a guy unmarried.

You and your wife have every right to be angry. On the other hand I hope she can get the $$ back for the dress and you and she take it and send a nice flower arrangement for the wedding or spend it on a nice night out for the two of you and have your own little celebration. Take pictures and give them to the new bride and groom. Just a suggestion to not wallow in self pity, celebrate your freedom from this cult and pass it on. Life is just too short to harbor resentments and hold onto anger. Besides it gives you wrinkles!

Sorry though for your dissappointments.

2112

Sorry to say that the choice is now in your sister-in-laws hands. The whole problem could be avoided if she does not get married in the KH. But then others in the Borg may not support the marrage. I had one elder once tell me that if anyone was not married in the KH then Jehovah does not recognize the marrage and they are living in sin. I asked, what about non-witnesses? The answer was, none of those marrages are ligitimate.

However if you still attend, you and your wife could still sign the register, that belongs to your sister-in-law not the KH. I would walk in and sign it in ink.

Again I am sorry.

ButtLight

That just goes to show you each congregation makes their own rules up!

I went to a family members wedding, being inactive for 11 years. I signed the book, I even sang at the wedding! Granted, it wasnt in the kingdom hall, so maybe thats why. But even with it being an outside wedding, my mother wasnt allowed to go cause she was df'd!

fullofdoubtnow

All i can say is use their words and publications against them and drive them into a corner so that they don't have a leg to stand on

That's good advice, and would create a situation they will find difficulty in extracting themselves from

all the best, I hope everything works out fine for you and your wife

undercover

Sorry to say that the choice is now in your sister-in-laws hands. The whole problem could be avoided if she does not get married in the KH.

What is more important to the bride? Getting married in a KH or having her sister as a bridesmaid?

The elders cannot dictate to her who she can have in her wedding...if the wedding was held somewhere other than in the KH.

If the elders refuse to cooperate and allow a non-JW to be part of a wedding ceremony in the hall, then it comes down to what the bride wants. If she insists on getting married in the hall, then she is placing that above her relationship with her sister. If that's the case, well, unfortunately, you'll know where you stand with her and there won't be much you can do.

brutusmaximus

Hi All

Thanks for the kind words. It is the same old same old from this shower of sh*t you sometimes feel the only thing to do is move away where no one knows you. The thing is as well due to rule changes next year it might be alright to have a non dub in the wedding party but by then it will be too late.

And to think my poor wee wife was thinking of going back so she could join in, it means that much to her. Well I can tell you now there is no way she is going back now not a chance!!

I really thought I had seen it all I didn't think they could do anymore to hurt us but there you go wrong again

Regards to you all

BM

Need help guys, please!!!

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