Need help guys, please!!! (page 2)

anewme

It seems to me the PO said yes it would be alright for your wife to participate since she is still considered a witness.

Neither of you are dfd so go ahead with your plans.

What are the elders and opposing creeps going to do about it?

Keep your scheme quiet and proceed as planned. What are the elders or guests going to do about it at the wedding?

They will get over it!

Ive witnessed tons of weddings at the kingdom halls where the entire wedding party was practically inactive!

The big mistake someone made was going to the PO and questioning whether your wife was eligable.

Ive learned NOT TO ASK OTHER PEOPLE TO MAKE MY CONSCIENCE DECISIONS FOR ME.

You knew what was right. You should have just done it without asking the daddy elders for permission.

I say proceed with your family plans and allow your wife to be bridesmaid in a kingdom hall.

You both can get dfd later.

I hope I dont sound harsh. Its just that when you are out of the org for awhile all this melodrama is nonsense.

Dismembered

Greetings anewme

They have the keys to the door. If they say no it will be no.

Dismembered

Dr Jekyll

BM,

Contact your local newspaper, tell them about how the Meany witnesses are stopping your wife from being a bridesmaid even though shes already gone out and brought a dress and give the reporter the congregations PO's telephone number to get a quote.

This sort of thing really gives witnesses a bad name, its the sort of thing they would like to avoid so its worth a try.

NYCkid

Sorry to hear about that, it's these sort of stories that make my hair curl. I've been out for 12 years now...(boy time flies when you're having fun living your life) but when I was in, the rule was that if the wedding ceremony was held in Kingdom Hall, then all members of the wedding party had to be Jehovah's Witnesses in good standing. Otherwise, the ceremony would have to be held at a non JW location for non-JW wedding member parties to participate. An Elder could still give the talk however.

I'm sure the rules have changed since the early 90s, but if by any chance this particular rule has not, you could present the suggestion that holding the ceremony at a non_JW location so your wife can participate would be an equitable alternative and would make all parties involved happy while preserving the joy of the occasion.

If they or their congregation is unwilling to compromise, then I'm afraid you'll have to deal with it by complying with the rules that forces your wife's sister to seclude your wife on her big day. Social etiquette requires this. Please just make sure you are reimbursed for any expenses laid out thus far (social etiquette also permits this).

Social etiquette also permits you to voice your protest in the way you've been treated by declining to attend the ceremony and reception while making it quite clear that although you wish the bride and groom all the best, it's their rudeness that prevents you from wishing them well in person.

Best regards,

NYCkid

BlackSwan of Memphis

I wonder if this is the artilce in question that they are talking about:

w 84

18 In Bible times, there usually was a "friend of the bridegroom" and female companions of the bride. (John 3:29; Psalm 45:14) This is also often the case at Kingdom Hall weddings. Reasonableness, though, is needed as to how many such participants there are, as well as how they dress and act. It would be unfitting to have in the wedding party people who are disfellowshipped or whose scandalous life-style grossly conflicts with Bible principles. (2 Corinthians 6:14-16) Rather than selecting people who are prominent or who might give a costly present, many Christian couples (and speakers) prefer to have in the wedding party ones who are close to them in serving Jehovah.

1 Corinthians 6:14- 16
14

Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness? 15 Further, what harmony is there between Christ and Be´li·al? Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement does God’s temple have with idols? For we are a temple of a living God; just as God said: "I shall reside among them and walk among [them], and I shall be their God, and they will be my people."

meagan

happyout

I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this. Something similar happened to me, I was inactive when I got married, but my sisters were planning to be in my wedding, which was held outdoors. No church so as not to offend my JW family. About 6 weeks before the wedding (right after my family bridal shower), I was told that they could not be in the wedding, and my brother could not walk me down the aisle. Since a minister was marrying us, they could not participate at all. One of my brother in laws, seeing the distress it was causing my sister, told her to just go ahead and be in it, and deal with the consequences later (he's an elder, by the way). It was my mom who convinced them that it wasn't the right thing to do. I guess I should be grateful they came, but it's a hurt that will never go away.

Even if they don't get married in a KH, the "brothers" will probably still object to your wife being a bridesmaid. Her sister needs to decide what is more important.

Again, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Anyone who can look me in the face after hearing about stuff like this, and tell me this is a religion of love is a liar and a hypocrite.

Happyout

undercover

It would be unfitting to have in the wedding party people who are disfellowshipped or whose scandalous life-style grossly conflicts with Bible principles. (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)
1 Corinthians 6:14- 16
Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness? 15 Further, what harmony is there between Christ and Be´li·al? Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement does God’s temple have with idols? For we are a temple of a living God; just as God said: "I shall reside among them and walk among [them], and I shall be their God, and they will be my people."

The bridal party isn't getting yoked, the bride and groom are.

brutusmaximus

Hi all

If it is the April '84 botchtower then that would be the farticle. You would think we were complete nutters and causing distress to those in the hall but we're not. I have also heard that it was my cousin an elder in the hall who raised his concerns with the service commitee who are the ones that decide who can and can't use the hall. I think I will be paying him a visit shortly . Trust me there is no self pity in this we are happy we left the borg it is just all the baggage that comes with it. Someone somewhere else said they wish they had never had contact with them, here, here I say but more like I wish my folks had never met them.

I am also calling the PO tonight for a scriptural reason (maybe just a reason would be good) why she can't even sign the register which is not scriptural anyway but a man made law, I will let you know how that goes

Thanks again and best regards to you all

BM

Need help guys, please!!!

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