by Honesty 14 Replies latest jw friends
Do you have any regrets that you have turned your back on Joe Hoba by your departure?
I bet you are shaking in your socks when you reflect on the following spiritual food dispensed by those loving brothers in New York:
It is vital that we appreciate this fact and respond to the directions of the "slave" as we would to the voice of God, because it is His provision. WT 6/15/57 page 370 paragraph 7
I left long ago but it was a case of being able to live a natural life without having the dubs trying to impose on you man made rules and control your life on a daily basis. You get rid of an unnecesary burden.
During my 28 years in the borg I was inactive for a time. Every day I lived in dreaded fear of dying at the big A. Since I left 2 years ago I have never felt such inner peace. Like a hugh rock removed from my chest.
When I first left in 1999, I was confliced like many people. But I changed a number of things in my life at that time, so it at times was overwhelming because I realize that I was doing too much too soon. But I plugged along and eventually everything came together.
I did a lot of research regarding many, many fundamentalist religions and I realized that in the US fundamentalist religions have a strangle hold on thousands of people. That allowed me to see that I was not put upon by the WTBTS. There are many people who also when they leave a ridge religion they go same through the same withdrawls - can I still be a good christian if I leave this religion; am I evil for questioning things; is there a happy medium between all or nothing.
I am very content now in my resolve to not be a JW. I am not angry or bitter about the time I spent in the religion or the fact that many of my family members and even some of my friends are strong JWs. To each their own. I feel that because I know who I am, I am content in who I am, NO ONE ELSE can ever make me feel any lesser then I let them make me feel.
I am a work in progress and continue to learn new things. From my experience it seems that those who have been in the JW religion for a while feel it is necessary to do is to continue to preach, but in their own way. As if it is necessary to live life. That is the one thing that I have worked hard on breaking. To share a story is very different then to preach to someone. I can tell my story and go from there. But why quote from the WT to try and disprove something. I don't care enough to waste my time to try and prove or disporve anything.
I am an avid reader and do my best to make up my own opinion. Why would I ever state something so concertely to another human being as if my word is God's. It is my opinion and if you want it I will give it, otherwise I will stay quiet on the matter. What I have found is that as a person I have a tendence to comingle my experience with my understanding so what I see is usually in a vacuum, so it is a false truth. I have also noticed a pattern of this in other people.
I am now very happy I was raised the way I was. I don't think I would be the person I am today with being raised a JW. Without the bad how can there be good. What does not destroy me makes me stronger .... and all that rot.
When I first went inactive and my meeting attendance dropped, I felt guilty. After I read Crisis of Conscience, I knew I shouldn't go back.
It's like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. So much trying to look good in the eyes of other men who judge you for everything you do and don't do. Miss a meeting, black mark. Don't show up at field service, black mark. Don't have your watchtower underlined, black mark. Don't answer at meetings, black-mark. Late for meeting, black mark. Go to college, black mark. Listen to certain music, black mark. Wear certain styles of hair or clothes, black mark. All of this was to make a good impression for other people.
I'm SO glad I left. For the first few years, Sunday mornings would come along and I realized I could sleep late. But it felt a little strange still - a little bit of guilt. Same thing with Tuesday and Thursday nights. But it all passed. Nowadays, life is so busy, I can't imagine how I could even fit the JW lifestyle into my life. There are times I'm at work until 7pm. Kind of rushed to come home, put on a suit and get to a hall. But if I didn't, elders would probably visit and suggest I get a job with fixed hours like janitorial.
The JW family has been incredibly cool about it compared to other stories I've heard. We all talk and get together. We just don't talk religion (or more specifically, I don't discuss my views with them). Although they sometimes feel the need to bring up things to me.
My only regret is that I allowed myself to be deceived by those wacko cultists in the first place.
W
I never feel bad leaving an organization that speaks with [Forked Tongue]
My feelings echo jws. Everything related to the JW's was for show, it was all outward apperances and doing what was expected of you. I tried to tell this to my family, but so far haven't grasped this yet. They can see that I have changed, that I'm a much more happier, more centered person. That I very rarely get sick anymore, but can't fathom that it's because of leaving this so called religion.
So far we are in a don't ask/don't tell situation. I'm here and ready to help them feel the way I do now when they are ready.
BB
I just feel like I was liberated from a cultlike life!!!!!!!!!
Like many, I was afraid for a while after I got disfellowshipped.
Everytime a natural disaster would occur I would think "oh man . .this is it . .Armageddon is coming!"
I don't think that way anymore thank goodness!
