As a Witness, most if not all of my friends were married by 18, with many woman married by 17. It was so normal, that when I left the religion and met all these people married in their 20's and later, that it seemed like they were starting late. I actually was a late person in getting married, I was 23. I remember being one of the few people my age in the congregation, not married yet. I actually remember thinking, where am I going to find someone to marry, that is not yet taken. Most of the young people, had their mate picked out at 15 and married within 3 years. I did get lucky and find the right person. If you don't get married by 25 as a Witness, the odds are likely you never will or will have to wait until your 30's to catch the divorced batch on the second time through. I have a sister-in-law who is 32 and single, never married and given up on any chance of it. She accepts this reality, because she figures her life will extend into the new system and she will have plenty of time of marriage then. In reality, she is in this situation, because she was shy and limited her range of who to marry to a small town location of Witnesses and the selection was poor at best. Either way, it felt normal to go to your friend's wedding, when they were only 17 or 18, and if I saw that now in the normal world, I would be shocked and so would most people. Normal people do not get married that young, in this day and age, but boy did we get married that young as Witnesses. Anyone else notice this?
You mean to tell me, normal people don't get married at 17 or 18?
by free2beme 38 Replies latest jw friends
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unclebruce
I married an 18 year old (after 3 years in the adult work force Susan already felt old ).
Her JW sister married just after her 16th birthday (and is still happily married 30 years later).
In Australia you can legally join the Army, Navy, Air Force at 18 (used to be 16), drink alcohol, drive a car at 16 and are generally treated as an adult from about 15 on.
That said, we were probably way too young for marriage but it was the only legit way to make sweet lov'n in the happy sack.
unclebruce
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DannyHaszard
Born JW 1957 and seen what you describe-girls at 16 boys at 18 or they leave the 'troof'
This is part of the cult milieu control
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somebodylovesme
Depends on where you're from, too ... Actually, young marriages were the only thing Witnesses had in COMMON with the rest of the world where I grew up. :) Small rural area where everyone lived on a farm and there were 10 students in the high school graduating class -- people either got married or went to college right after high school, and for most, it was the former. (And I graduated from high school in the past five years.) I wasn't a Witness, but well over half of the young people I knew from my hometown got married within the first year or two after graduating high school.
So hey -- in some parts of the country (US, I mean), Witnesses are downright normal!! *gasp*
cheers!
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jeeprube
I married my wife when I was 18, she was 21. Fortuantly, we are a uniquiqe couple, still married, in love and happy. I won't lie though, we have had our rough patches. Looking back I realize we married way too young, but that's life inside the cult.
I've watched a lot of my former JW friends lose their marriages. 18 or 19 is too young for marriage. 28-30 is a much better age.
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Lady Lee
I was pushed into an early marriage just 7 weeks after my 18th birthday.
I've read so much info on teen marriages and how badly prepared the people are who enter into them. Not that I thought I was in a "teen" marriage. But I sure learned the hard way how bad they can be.
I had my first child 4 weeks before my 20th birthday.
When my daughters got to the same age I was so glad they didn't have marriage on their minds. But it sure helped me see what a "child" I was back then
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TresHappy
I think many married young so they could have sex and wouldn't get the big D/F. My parents married that young (weren't JW's at the time) and they've been married over 50 years. Me, I was the last to marry in my family, at age 35 - I just didn't find anyone to marry until then!
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Highlander
getting married at 18 or younger occurred when I was that age and continues to be the norm in my former congregation.
My sis married about 1 week after her 18th birthday and had numerous children by her early twenties. Unfortunately her marriage isn't doing so well either.
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wednesday
Tres,
Wasn't it you that wrote that story about a young dating jw couple? I will never forget those, funny stuff
and you are so right, most early jws marriages are b/c they can't have sex outside of mariage. You quit making it a sin desereving of stoning or Df and there woud be a lot less 16-18 yrs olds geting married.
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TresHappy
Yes, I wrote those snippets a couple of years ago. I forgot about them actually...thanks for the compliment. They were a composite of many of the young couples I saw in the congregation. Frustration at its finest. I should go back and read those again. Perhaps I'll have a muse and start rewriting again!