by free2beme 38 Replies latest jw friends
It's disgusting the way the single older 'brothers' pursue the young girls. There's one at my KH in his mid 30's who's been ogling my daughter since she was 15, introduced himself, sat near us (uninvited). ugh! I just want to kick him. And no, I'm not jealous or want his attention.
It's interesting to me that some of the 30 something single men in my cong are still single. I talked with a couple of single JW girls and the girls are being kind of picky. Good for them!
Yeah - think about the number of marriages that started at 18, how many are still in existence? I think the numbers are pretty low. I am sure there are others out there that are still together and in love, but how many?
A lot of jws marry when they're young, and I think it's related to the fact that the need for sexual release is at a peak and they can't indulge in fornication and all that jazz. I have no case studies in hand to show that they tend to marry young in comparison to the general population. But I have seen stats that show that people tend to marry later these days. But jws seem to buck that trend, as far as I can tell.
Yes, it generally because you cannot have sex outside of marriage. Also, if you date too much, you get in trouble. There was a guy I grew up with who was known to befriend the ladies in the hall and he got a rep. He was talked to, they quoted the YPA - dating with a view to marriage. So he started dating this headcase and she knew his background and when he wanted to break up with her she said that she was going to go to the elders and tell them he mislead her and he was going to get in trouble. Guess what, they got married. I know being in his inner circle that he did not want to marry her. Yes, they are still married, but you would never know it, they lead very different lives. He took a job that he works night shifts so he does not have to see her on a regular basis. They go to meetings together and THAT IS IT. He is miserable and I would suspect she is, but they won't get a divorce because of the religion and no one in his family has ever been divorced, because of the religion, he does not want to be the first. But she is a loon! I don't know how he stays married to her.
The past six weddings I've been to have all been between teenagers( Ok, 2 of the guys were in their 20's, but not the brides). In 2 of them the parents had to sign for the daughters b/c they weren't 18. One has already split up. I read that the average age for women getting married in the US is 25, but for witnesses it would have to be much lower. Homeschooling is very popular here, so they graduate from high school at 16, don't go to college, what else are they going to do? and if they make a mistake they will be df'd. That's not for me.
approx 80 percent of marriages involving 18-20 year old bride/groom ends in a divorce.
No thanks, I'm glad I didn't partake in that j-dub custom.
I was a third generation dub. My mom got married at 16, my two sisters married at 16 (one is divorced). My parents let both of my sisters quit school in order to get married. I got married at 19 (old in my family). I only did it because I wanted to have sex. I knew my ex-husband for exactly 11 months before I married him. He lived about an hour away from me so how much alone time do you think we spent together? NONE. How are you to supposed to get to know someone when you only see them in groups? Of course he put on a good show (until after we were married, then I got to know the real him).
I felt it was unfair that I had to spend the rest of my life with someone I didn't know or love so I left. I gave up everything for the freedom I have now. Don't regret it at all.
Every single j-dub couple I knew that were married before the age of 24, are now divorced. Every single one.
Yeah in Jdub land you are an OLD MAID or MINSTER if you are not married with children by age 25. I am going to be 25 in less than a month and there are definitely rumors (do people really think the rumors don't get back to you or do they just not care?) about poor me not being able to find someone to marry as there are so many more sisters than brothers and the brothers who are "marriageable" wouldn't want me because of my "past." I've had offers from old codgers as old as MY DAD and people telling me I was crazy to pass up the "opportunity" to be an "elder's wife." That statement is so wrong on so many levels. Then when I told the guy that I want to have children and I'm guessing that he, with GRANDchildren of his own, wouldn't want to start over with that, his response was that I am selfish and should slave for Jehovah and wait until the new system to have children. Yeah, well, thanks for telling me EXACTLY how to live my life, but NO THANKS. I'd rather marry a toad.
Oh, and I've been to so many Witness weddings where the bride and groom are teenagers and the only marriages still in tact are completely miserable ones. I myself was engaged as a teenager but saw the idiocy of it and got out. So I'd be divorced now if I had gotten married as a child.
I don't recall any marriages of teenagers in my congregations. I was 29 when I got married, she was 24. (Of course, that marriage didn't last either because I left the cult.) Elders™ in my hall tried to discourage people from getting married until they were in their twenties. It's one of the few things I could agree with them on.
W
