should I disassociate myself or wait to get disfellowshipped? (page 2)

Hawkeye

If they don't have family or friends, then I would disassociate. That is what I did. That ended any surprise visits and unwanted phone calls. Now I feel totally FREE!!!!!

I guess everyone has different views on how to leave the org. If you don't have family to worry about losing due to shunning. I would just get it over with and disassociate .. That is what my husband did 20 years ago.. That way we felt we had the last word and showed we knew that the JW life was not right for us. Why let them have the satisfaction of D/Fing.. another power trip.. But if you friend doesn't want to deal with either.. I guess just igore their calls and and don't answer the door.. sooner or later their little minds will be occupied with the next judicial matter if they fly under the radar..as Hawkeye said.. once you totally disassociate.. you feel free....

Gregor

If you worked for an unethical, dishonest employer would you rather be fired or quit?

ashitaka

Through people I knew I communicated that I would sue and blow some whistles.....not a peep since. Was able to get my family out too. Not a bad days work. Don't play by their rules. Theres no point to that.

LtCmd.Lore

I intend to disassotiate myself. That way nobody will assume I had mad sex with someone or commited murder or something. Because that's exactly what they'll think and then that just strengthens their faith. But you leave on your own accord, it shows that you have good reason to leave other than immorality.

So to save face, and prove a point. Do it yourself. Don't let the rumors spread.

SickofLies

I intend to disassotiate myself. That way nobody will assume I had mad sex with someone or commited murder or something. Because that's exactly what they'll think and then that just strengthens their faith. But you leave on your own accord, it shows that you have good reason to leave other than immorality

People will assume this anyway because thats what the borg has trained them to do. My advice is to nail your DA letter to the front of the Kingdom Hall door, go out like Luther did! If we could cordinate some kind of mass DA effort with people nailing these letters to the doors of Kingdom Halls and mailing them to the media at the same time could you imagine the responce? Ah, if we could only get enough people to join in on such a movement.

piscesinphoenix

I'm wrestling with this subject myself right now. But it isn't that anyone in the congregation has done or said anything particularly wrong. True, they didn't do much for me when I was in truly dire need; in fact, my 'worldly' neighbors showed more Christian love than my own congregation (I don't hold that against them; there are jerks in every religion). I just got tired of it all; banging on strangers' doors trying to turn them against their own beliefs when I needed to be home to get my own work done, running around picking up other sisters to take them shopping, to the doc, etc., 'cause nobody else gave a crap to do it. Then there's the stupid meetings....a total waste of 5 hours a week especially that 2 hour sales meeting thinly veiled and labeled the "Theocratic Ministry School"...a whole 'nother story. About the only meeting I really did enjoy was the weekly book study...but then I started asking questions and got the feeling my enquiries weren't welcome. So I drifted silently away. Haven't been to a Kingdom Hall in four years (including the Memorials) and never had a visit or a call all this time. Suddenly out of the blue they are like lined up on my doormat, pushing their Memorial invites under the door, leaving the 'we miss you', would like to see you' calls on my answering machine. But I like where I am right now. I feel I've come so far without them and grown into a real relationship with God. And I've found out that gosh, other folks have miracles happen to them too and they're not JW's. They love God and He seems to love them and they're not JW's. That came as a shock at first, totally against all I've been fed by them. I never even knew other beliefs had conventions until a friend invited me to go with her to one (Joyce Meyer). Now I am thinking about cutting the last cord with JW's. I won't be able to go back....but, then, do I really want to? I don't intend to go to the Memorial tomorrow night but I don't want to have to hide out in my own house either. I'm confused and feel like I'm letting God down by not standing by my Baptism promises.

BlackPearl

If you worked for an unethical, dishonest employer would you rather be fired or quit?

Very good retorical question, makes one think doesn't it? Under these circumstances I would tell Mr. Trump, "I quit", before he gets a chance to tell me "you're fired".

diamondblue1974

In my view to feel that you must do one of those two indicates an acknowledgement that they have at least some power over you; to do nothing and to just simply get on with your life is probably one of the greatest ways of displaying your new found freedom.

Should people, (in particular elders) approach you, ask them whether they are there in the capacity as friends or as elders...accept them as friends as you would anyone but refuse to accept them as elders having any authority or power over you...refuse to talk about organisational, spiritual issues and discuss anything but. Watch how quickly they will remove themselves from your company!

Thats my advice....for what its worth!

DB74

jwfacts

Wow, welcome all you newbies.
fired or quit? very good question.
There is another business saying "Don't burn your bridges".
It all depends on the circumstance. Pisces is not being harrassed so there seems no real benefit in d/a. On the other hand if a person is stressed over the elders then it is an incredible relief to be free from all of that.
I preferred to be d/f just because I wanted to tear apart the elders at the j/c as i knew my knowledge was far better than theirs. But there is no point going just to be humiliated by the elders.

should I disassociate myself or wait to get disfellowshipped?