Are there any funny stories in the bible?

by ballistic 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    I posted on a thread earlier that I'm sure Jesus had a sense of humour.

    I clicked Submit Post.

    Then I thought, yeah I'm sure he did but he didn't tell any jokes did he? In fact I can't think of anything funny in the whole bible.

    Here's your chance to post a bible story that gets you roaring with laughter...

  • limbogirl
    limbogirl

    can't think of a funny story but as a kid I always laughed at some of the names...Dorcas, Peleg, etc. not sure if I'm spelling those names right....been a while since I read the bible.

  • just2sheep
    just2sheep

    it isn't roaring funny but i've always found humor in god's reasoning with jonah about not wiping out nineveh. to paraphrase---the people are to stupid to kill...and besides what about all those innocent animals...

  • Tea4Two
    Tea4Two

    This always made me laugh. You find it in the book of Isaiah.

    "A carpenter cuts down cedars; or s/he chooses a holm tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest; s/he plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it.

    "Then it becomes fuel for a human being, s/he takes a part of it and warms himself, s/he kindles a fire and bakes bread; also s/he makes a god and worships it, s/he makes it a graven image and falls down before it.

    "Half of it s/he burns in the fire; over the half s/he eats flesh, s/he roasts meat and is satisfied; also s/he warms herself and says, "Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!"

    "And the rest of it s/he makes into a god, his idol; and falls down to it and worships it; s/he prays to it and says, 'Save me, for you are my God!'

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    I've had a sense of humour over-ride on that one Tea4Two! That story just says to me you can't make a god, certainly not out of anything earthly.

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    Hey ballsy I used to think it was funny about those kids yelling out to that dude something about him being a bald head. Up until the bears ate them. But yeah you might be able to tell that I don't know the account too well.... LOL

  • ballistic
    ballistic
    those kids yelling out to that dude something about him being a bald head

    I think I would set the bears on 'em lol - but in actual fact I find a lot of people (or ladies) like my baldness for some reason.

  • lucifer
    lucifer

    I don't remember the details, but some guy was beating his donkey for not moving and the donkey TALKS to him, but instead of thinking "Hey why is a donkey talking to me?" he replies to it, the nonsense of it all!

  • 4JWY
    4JWY

    It was interesting to hear on the " Gospel of Judas " program last night on the National Geographic Channel that part of what was found in this Gospel of Judas writing was that Jesus DID actually laugh. As a matter of fact, it is written in that manuscript that he LAUGHED at the time of offering prayer over the bread and wine!

    A new twist for those attending the Memorial this week - laughter in imitation of Jesus.

  • CaptainSchmideo
    CaptainSchmideo
    I don't remember the details, but some guy was beating his donkey for not moving and the donkey TALKS to him, but instead of thinking "Hey why is a donkey talking to me?" he replies to it, the nonsense of it all!

    That is the story of Balaam. Which reminds me of a joke.

    "Q:Who was the most elastic man in the Bible?"

    "A:Balaam-Because he tied his ass to a tree and walked for several miles!"

    As far as humor in the Bible:

    Mark Twain, in his first book "The Innocents Abroad" (which is a travel diary of Europe and the Holy Land), he writes about the passage in Acts about Saul being instructed to enter Damascus: (I have emphasized the pertinent comments)

    We were on our way to the reputed houses of Judas and Ananias. About
    eighteen or nineteen hundred years ago, Saul, a native of Tarsus, was
    particularly bitter against the new sect called Christians, and he left
    Jerusalem and started across the country on a furious crusade against
    them. He went forth "breathing threatenings and slaughter against the
    disciples of the Lord."

    "And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus, and suddenly there
    shined round about him a light from heaven:

    "And he fell to the earth and heard a voice saying unto him, 'Saul,
    Saul, why persecutest thou me?'

    "And when he knew that it was Jesus that spoke to him he trembled,
    and was astonished, and said, 'Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?'"

    He was told to arise and go into the ancient city and one would tell
    him what to do. In the meantime his soldiers stood speechless and
    awe-stricken, for they heard the mysterious voice but saw no man. Saul
    rose up and found that that fierce supernatural light had destroyed his
    sight, and he was blind, so "they led him by the hand and brought him to
    Damascus." He was converted.

    Paul lay three days, blind, in the house of Judas, and during that time
    he neither ate nor drank.

    There came a voice to a citizen of Damascus, named Ananias, saying,
    "Arise, and go into the street which is called Straight , and inquire at
    the house of Judas, for one called Saul, of Tarsus; for behold, he
    prayeth."

    Ananias did not wish to go at first, for he had heard of Saul before, and
    he had his doubts about that style of a "chosen vessel" to preach the
    gospel of peace. However, in obedience to orders, he went into the
    "street called Straight" (how he found his way into it, and after he did,
    how he ever found his way out of it again, are mysteries only to be
    accounted for by the fact that he was acting under Divine inspiration.)
    He found Paul and restored him, and ordained him a preacher; and from
    this old house we had hunted up in the street which is miscalled
    Straight, he had started out on that bold missionary career which he
    prosecuted till his death. It was not the house of the disciple who sold
    the Master for thirty pieces of silver. I make this explanation in
    justice to Judas, who was a far different sort of man from the person
    just referred to. A very different style of man, and lived in a very
    good house. It is a pity we do not know more about him.

    I have given, in the above paragraphs, some more information for people
    who will not read Bible history until they are defrauded into it by some
    such method as this. I hope that no friend of progress and education
    will obstruct or interfere with my peculiar mission.

    The street called Straight is straighter than a corkscrew, but not as
    straight as a rainbow. St. Luke is careful not to commit himself; he
    does not say it is the street which is straight, but the "street which is
    called Straight." It is a fine piece of irony; it is the only facetious
    remark in the Bible, I believe.
    We traversed the street called Straight
    a good way, and then turned off and called at the reputed house of
    Ananias. There is small question that a part of the original house is
    there still; it is an old room twelve or fifteen feet under ground, and
    its masonry is evidently ancient. If Ananias did not live there in St.
    Paul's time, somebody else did, which is just as well. I took a drink
    out of Ananias' well, and singularly enough, the water was just as fresh
    as if the well had been dug yesterday.

    I dunno why, but Luke was always my favorite writer, and little tidbits like this make me like him even more.

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