After my wedding I sent out an email to every non-witness I know and JW parents and a couple of siblings; the first group to stay in touch with old mates or turn near-strangers into friends in a time of needing them; the JW family group so that they'd know what's going on in our lives and how the wedding etc went and partly because I didn't want to be 'shunning' them; I wanted to be the one showing love and making an effort to maintain contact. I sent another out recently, I figure I'll make it a biannual report on the life and times of the Frass family. It's nothing at all controversial, just a 'what we're up to' email. Notably absent were any references to the meetings I'm not attending and the personal study and prayer I’m not engaged in.
Anyway I just got this back from my brother-in-law and need some TLC….
Thanks for that, but its not really appropriate for you to be communicating on such a casual basis with us, nor in such a public forum. Perhaps you could hold these messages for when you are reinstated, when we would love to hear all about it. In the meantime, could you please respect our beliefs and remove our email addresses from your mailing list?
Please bear with me while I analyse this. Firstly; 'public forum'? The only names they knew on the email list were other siblings and our parents. Secondly; 'respect'? They want me to respect them for being loveless, hurtful and, somebody please give me some good words for what they're being? It's been a few weeks since I sent the email so they've probably all consulted and discussed how to handle this situation. How inconsiderate of me!
I kind of knew it would happen, but thought they even if they have no love at all, they still might want to keep receiving them so that they can pretend to our non-JW family that they care what happens to us and avoid giving them the impression that they are, those words I can't think of. Maybe the tone of the emails were so upbeat and cheerful that they picked up on the general vibe on my life now; they might have got it sussed that I'm actually happy and can't handle it. More likely, they just feel compelled to play the JW game and don't see anything wrong with it.
So, should I reply? Should I include the words 'actually I will never be reinstated into you insane cult'? I'm thinking that my reply will be the last communication I ever have with any of them, pending say a parent's funeral, so I know that I should be cheerful and upbeat. I want their last memory of me to at least have a chance at making them think.
Anyway I just had to vent that out of my system with people who get it. I read it at work and chucked a massive wobbly and can't get over it. I'm still feeling really queasy.