I'm in love with a Jehovah Witness, Is it really a losing battle? (page 2)

carla

You need to realize that a life with her means that an entire cong is privy to everything you do and say. It will never be just the two of you anywhere including your marriage bed, her entire cong is right there between the sheets with you. Kids? They will try run their lives as well. As painful as it is, you need to decide if you are willing to married to an entire cong or find a woman who is willing to cleave to her husband.

icon

I don't believe what i was asked........ she asked me to fake it and get baptize so i can marry her. she also said she wouldn't care it i didn't want to follow through after that as long as i would go to the meetings on sunday with her.

I feel this is just family pressure. What gives with these JW women? Man this really sucks having a girlfriend that can't think for herself. Maybe i can convert her, does anyone know how to convert a JW?

moanzy

I married my worldly boyfriend. We have been married for 12 years and had 3 children together. Just to warn you, that if you are not a witness and you are married to this witness girl, she is subject to you until the elders require something of her that you don't agree with. In that case you become invalid and she becomes subject to the elders. They will say "Jehovah requires you to bla bla bla" to her.

To quote my elders about field service when my husband was against it-- " He will either put up with it or he will leave" It was like my husband and father to my children was just extra baggage.

Best of Luck Anyway

Moanzy

saddlers

Icon im in the same situation as you are but where your girl friends family are pressureing you i have not had that as my girl friends family have left the JW so it is just her and me.

ok so the elders know and have given her the usual speach about not getting involved with unbelivers but we are still very much in love with each other but as i understand it you can not just get baptized like that you have to go through with bible studies but i may be wrong some clarification on this matter would be of help.

anyway we have come to a agrement.

she is going to ireland on the 20th of may on ministry work for 1 week so i have agreed to have 6 bible studies 1 a week for 1 hour a week to see what her religion is about.

but then when she gets back we will decide where we go from there becouse i think she is still ok with the idea of marrying me even though im not a JW.

and on my side if it turns out i dont like what i here in the bible studies then i will stop and give her the decision.

either she loves me for who i am and we get married or we end it there and then becouse im not going to be pushed into anything i dont want to do or like but i have told her time and time again i will not stand in her way when it comes to her religion.

good luck in what ever you decide

ObservingTexan

Since this is a discussion board and you guys have laid things out there for discussion and opinions... here's mine. The WTS is a high mind control group. Some call it a cult. GET OUT OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS WHILE THE GETTING IS STILL GOOD BEFORE YOU WASTE ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND EMOTIONS. It takes far more than love to make and hold together any relationship especially marriage. Both of these women are hoping to convert you to their way of thinking.

RUN LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!

Scully

she told me she wants to marry me but she has to have a hall wedding.

She wants the Kingdom Hall wedding because any other venue for the wedding will be forbidden to other JWs to attend, even members of her own family. Family members who do attend will be punished in one form or another. Minimus knows about this - his own mother (in her 80s) was kicked off the Pioneer List™ after 40 years because she dared to attend her granddaughter's (minimus' daughter's) wedding to a non-JW, not held in a Kingdom Hall.

If she really loves you, why not ask her to run away with you and elope? Go to Vegas, go to the Bahamas and come back Mr. and Mrs.

If she won't agree to that, then you'd best saddle up and move along, buddy.

meems1000

Icon,

When i was a dub, i had a wonderful worldly boyfriend, he was the love of my life. My mother and the elders interferred so much that he couldn't take it anymore after 2 1/2 years. he didn't want me to choose between my 'family' and him, he thought i might hold that against him in some way. now my mother is inactive and gasp, even had a blood transfusion to save her life. but to this day has never apologized for ruining that relationship. i ended up marrying outside, i had faded already, got divorced after having two children. to this day i still wonder what my life would have been like had no one interferred in that relationship. anyway, my point is, she is under so much pressure and is having so much guilt put on her that she probably has no idea which way to turn.

i feel for you and hope it all works out and that you two can be happy together without the dubs.

kid-A

Some simple advice regardless of whether you are 'in love' with a JW or not:

As soon as we need to start sacrificing our own identities, our sense of self, our own values and ethics to accomodate the 'belief' system of another individual, even if we have convinced ourselves that we are making

these sacrifices out of love, than we know we are in a latent, if not patently toxic relationship...

Many people have a pattern of finding themselves in "impossible" relationships, simply to avoid having to deal with a real relationship with another human being that truly challenges them and that genuinely makes

them 'better human being'. Ask yourself this, will spending my life with this jehovahs witness make me a better, more fulfilled human being, or will it diminish the quality and depth of my life by forcing me to accept

their narrow and infantile "jehovah's witness" conception of the "world" ???

A genuine, loving relationship allows for both of the parties to expand their minds, their views of the world, their philosophy of life and for mutual self-improvement.

You will never, ever in a billion years find this with an "active" jehovah's witness whose entire existence and happiness hinges on following the orders the watchtower organization.

PoppyR

She wants the Kingdom Hall wedding because any other venue for the wedding will be forbidden to other JWs to attend, even members of her own family. Family members who do attend will be punished in one form or another

It sounds like you have experience of this happening, which I obviously dont. BUT, I have never heard of JWs being punished for attending a wedding between a witness and non-witness. I've been to weddings in Catholic Churches for members of my husbands family and none of us were spoken to, possibly gossiped about, but that I can take!

She probably wants a kindgom hall wedding because that's what she's always dreamed of, being married to a 'brother' in sight of Jehovah. She doesn't want to scuttle away to a registry office and do it on the quiet and who can blame her.

I have known many couples where one is a witness and one isn't that work out ok, not fabulously, like any marraige between people that have very different beliefs or experiences. But I dont think it's quite the doom and gloom that so many prophesy!

In saying that.. if she wants you to get baptised first before you get married, I would think VERY Carefully, as once baptised you can of course be dfed and you might find yourself without the girl and any possible children..

Poppy

potleg

I hate to say it, but this is the thin end of the wedge. If your girlfriend is committed to the JWs you will always come in a distant second and you'll never be fully accepted by her JW friends or family. You'll always be "worldly" Don't even think of getting baptized just to please her. That's like jouining any kind of secret society or the mafia...you won't get out unscathed. I know it sounds extreme but you could be setting yourself up for years of misery. Sorry.

I'm in love with a Jehovah Witness, Is it really a losing battle?

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