Jehoover punishing me

by KW13 20 Replies latest social humour

  • KW13
    KW13

    I got two chairs in my room that are from our kingdom hall, we took them AGES ago and i also have a new table that was meant for the second school but they already had a new one.

    Thing is, on the chair i use at my desk. when i sit down i sometimes touch the chair leg...when i do a bright blue spark happens and i get a shock ( No lie )

    What can i do? Repent?

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    I think this calls for an exorcisism.

  • PoppyR
    PoppyR

    Yes a full confession is necessary

    For the benefit of the dirty minded elders who haven't had any in weeks... I mean your everlasting life

    Tell us.. was it over or under the clothes? Did you touch or fondle? Was it accidental or deliberate,

    Did you do it again, have you prayed about it, how good did it feel, did you get off on it later on that evening?????

    I feel after a full confession your chair may stop pricking your consience which is clearly bothering you!

    Poppy (must stop drinking)

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Don't you remember hearing all the stories about JW's buying second hand furniture and discovering it was possessed? I think you need to burn them!

    BB

  • KW13
    KW13

    Poppy lol..you've been sniffing too much glue i tink

  • PoppyR
    PoppyR
    Poppy lol..you've been sniffing too much glue i tink

    Nah babe, I never liked the glue (gave one spots) But my whiskey bottle is looking rather empty.. Maybe I can squeeze out one more. It is Saturday And I dont have to get up for the meeting!!!!!

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    Say 20 "hail mary's" in a row very quickly....if that doesn't do it, get that chair out of your house immediately, it's Jehoovernized!!!

    Swalker

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Does it look anything like this demonised chair I found on google?

    If so I'll be around tommorrow to relieve your suffering

  • luna2
    luna2

    I think drunken poppy would have made a great elder. Look how quickly she came up with that list of salacious questions.

    KW, it is possible that a little humidity might solve your sparky demon problem. If not, you could always burn it...that used to be a popular JW way of disposing of demonized garage sale goods here in the states.

    Edited to say that I don't think KW would want to get rid of his chair if it looked like that, unc. OT: There is some dude washing his car singing The Village People's Macho Man outside...I'm totally cracking up. Its too bad its not quite warm enough for him to remove his shirt cuz that would be classic.

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    I suggest placing two large blocks of polystyrene under each foot measuring 12 inches by 6 inches. Wear rubber gloves at all times and line the chair with some non-plastic material such as cotton. And place a aluminium foil hat on to stop the "mind beams".

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