So, why did I meet with the elders? (page 5)

Van Gogh

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!

There is a lot to be said for the above... but there are no universal answers and there is no honorable way out.

Personally, I would love to make a statement by DAing - closure for myself, but just blurting it out could also be an easy way out. I sense it would not give satisfaction. Swallowing the truth can make you nauseous and I hope I will find your courage to do the same thing when it will be my turn soon.

VG

daystar

but there are no universal answers and there is no honorable way out.

No doubt that lola thought she was being true to herself in the decision she made. I think that perhaps she was. However, we often allow ourselves to be influenced by others to our own detriment.

Your opinion that there is no honorable way out is also not a universal answer. If a person remains true to themselves, assuming they know themselves in the first place, then the path they take is an honourable one.

lola28

No doubt that lola thought she was being true to herself in the decision she made. I think that perhaps she was.

I was.I know that at some point the elders are going to want to meet again and I know that I'm going to have to make harder choices, I just didn't feel like making them this week. I did what I know was best for me. I made the choice to lie to the elders just like I made the choice to study and get baptized. I know that there are many of you that don't agree with what I did but that was the best option for me.

Lola

Bumble Bee

Hi Lola,

I know how you feel. I have avoided so far any JC's etc, been quietly fading for about 10 years. I've been asked the questions if I feel I'm still a JW, if this is "the truth" etc and had to lie to protect min and my husbands family. You do what you have to do, each persons situation is different.

Good for you for protecting and not hurting those you love.

BB

Ingenuous

Last night I thought about them and the pain that they would have to endure if I got Dfed and I made up my mind right then that I would not do that to them. If it meant that I would have to lie to the elders then I was ready to do that. ... I know that many of you are thinking “they are not your friends”, and I agree with you, I know that if I got Dfed these women would never talk to me. But the idea of hurting them was too much, especially when I could avoid it by meeting with the elders.

{{{{{lola}}}}}

My approval means nothing, but I wanted to let you know I understand your sentiments. It's what keeps me from acting rashly toward the BoE in my old congregation. I still have a relationship with my folks - as sporadic and superficial as it is. I've grown a lot closer to my sister since I left, even though she's still in, and I don't want to put her in a painful situation where she has to make a choice, either. I have to admit, if my sister wasn't in, I might not let consideration for my parents cramp my (emotional) life like I do and would likely go ahead and DA.

Whatever your beliefs, I have to say you've acted out of much more "Christian" motives than just about all the JWs I've ever known put together.

Best of luck.

Van Gogh

Daystar said:
"If a person remains true to themselves, assuming they know themselves in the first place, then the path they take is an honourable one."
Granted and well said - as I said: there is a lot to be said for your comment.
However, we have a natural desire to be seen or acknowledged by OTHERS, the ones we hold in high regard, for being true to ourselves and being honorable. As far as those others are concerned, our exit is considered to be far from honorable. That is the whole problem here.
VG

Kenneson

Hey, you did what YOU felt should be done. That's the most anyone can do.

Stress Free

Everyones situation is unique. You must make decisions based on what best suits your situation at the time. The majority of people on this forum understand what you are going through and respect your decision. However, as time goes on everyones circumstances change and so does the way we handle decisions like the one you just made.

misspeaches

Lola, well done. What you have done has helped me gain some perspective on my own situation... Much luv to you!

Carmel

Lola, the spirit of the law is greater than the letter thereof! You acted with compassion and with dignity. Answering a question with a question, knowing it was misleading its technically not lieing. Yet you "misled", something you were fully justified in doing given the cicumstances.

I'd be proud to have a daughter with your moral and ethical grounding.

I wish you well

carmle

So, why did I meet with the elders?

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