Read some responses of those that attended a jw funeral talk........

by troubled mind 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    If witnesses really think their version of a funeral talk is a good way to give a witness ...think again

    ...oh yea i also was really pissed how your funeral turned out...while i was sitting there ...kept sayin to each other how much we hated it and how pissed we were that he was sayin all that shit..
    I miss you so much. I cried so hard at your funeral, I think just about everyone wanted to go up and slap the guy that was talking because he was like she's gone forever and such and made everyone feel worse, I hated it.


    we have all been talking at work about how much we miss you and how your funeral didn't give you the respect you deserved. They didn't say how special you were to everyone or anything like that. We need people to know just how great you really were. I think we want to do a candle light service for you or something where all of the "kids" you knew could read something about you or share a memory they had with you. I think you'd like that a lot better. If anyone has any ideas they hopefully will let me know. We need to do something that will give you the respect you deserve and honor your life.
    I was left feeling angry and empty after the service. No respect for the person that had died and a slap in the face to those that wanted to believe she had gone to a better place.

    Yeah, made a great impression I bet these kids will be real open to a"witness" at there door !

    edited to correct formatting ~ Scully

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    sorry, I don't know how to correct the formatting.......

  • Mary
    Mary

    Yep......the Witness funeral talks have gone right down the toilet in the last 7 - 10 years. Now it's all about how the person hasn't gone to a better place, there's no eulogy, no friends or family get up there and talk about wonderful moments in the deceased's life.......no, the speaker must emphasize that the person is just dead in the ground and then read scriptures showing how Adam screwed us all over and how it's God's plan to have humans live on the earth, not in heaven. They may briefly mention what the person did in their life, but only if they're a dedicated Dub who "put God's Kingdom first". Then it's on to preaching and trying to recruit new members, which does nothing except show the level of their desperation. Worldly people are stunned and appalled at Witness funerals. I know, because I've had several complain to me privately afterwards. They're shocked and disgusted and the lack of feeling and the feeling that the religion is using the opportunity to try and recruit new members......hell, I even know of dedicated Witnesses who are disgusted at the funeral talks..........

  • wombat
    wombat

    I went to a family member's funeral. He was a highly respected professional. A very large crowd attended to hear a full-on Watch Tower sermon. It was so disgusting. I am ashamed that I didn't walk out.

    I will never forget the dear Catholic Nun who was forced to sit through it all. I wish that I could apologise to her.

  • luna2
    luna2
    I wish that I could apologise to her

    Ditto, wombat...only it was my son's funeral and it was packed with my non-dub co-workers, Chris's friends and classmates and relatives. I'm ashamed of the whole thing now. I'm sure his school friends were repulsed by the stupid funeral recruitment talk. I believe his name was only mentioned two or three times in the whole long thing. I cringe at the memory.

  • anewme
    anewme

    My ex gave funeral talks and he really tried to make them more personal. There is latitude in the outline and there is flexibility. I got to help him write many of his talks and we threw in lots of comments about the deceased's hobbies and likes and dislikes and funny things said. We had the room in stitches or tugged at heart strings all aside from the outline.

    I also remember a very well known witness's funeral and his was so wonderful and full of stories. It was given by a circuit overseer. Those guys are more comfortable and secure in their position in the org and take more liberties in their talk and approach in the org. They are allowed to show their colors and personalities. I really think the elders who are giving the talks are so afraid of the mother org and have received so much stern counsel about the talks that they give up trying to be creative and keep to a rigid outline......(for example: the shameful Memorial talks)

    So what Im saying is some of the fault for lousy funeral talks lies with the timid speaker.

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    JW funerals are absolutely disgusting. I have been to several where the speaker clearly had no idea who the deceased was, what their life had meant, no personal anecdotes whatsoever, just a 20 minute "informercial" for the watchtower corporation.

    They inevitably end with this sentence: "For those in attendance that would like more information about the wonderful hope of the resurrection, please speak to a member of the Jehovahs witness to arrange for a free home bible study"....

  • Mary
    Mary
    There is latitude in the outline and there is flexibility. I got to help him write many of his talks and we threw in lots of comments about the deceased's hobbies and likes and dislikes and funny things said. We had the room in stitches or tugged at heart strings all aside from the outline......So what Im saying is some of the fault for lousy funeral talks lies with the timid speaker.

    The talks were much more personal years ago, but like everything else in the Organization, they like everything to "conform" to a certain code, so I think they've become alot more stringent with how the talks are conducted. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Bethel has sent something around to the brothers indicating that this is how funeral talks should be given. Yes, it can make a difference with the speaker, but I've been to Witness funerals where I know the brother to be an excellent speaker, yet the funeral talk is the same crap: very preachy, very cold and is more about joining the WTS than it is in remembering the deceased.

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    Mary is right. Several years ago the elders were given a very clear directive from the GB regarding precisely how JW funerals were to be carried out. I remember reading the letter they sent my elder father. Basically, it as a clear demand that funerals be used as recruitment opportunities and warning the elders about not "glorifying" the deceased or focusing too much on the "personal" factors of the deceased life....

    Just goes to show how callous and repugnant this organization really is. They deny the dubs every possible "worldly" event for celebration and on their final send-off, you gauge what you say about the dead dub based upon how many watchtowers they placed over the years !!!

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Yep, they go by an outline. When my favorite uncle died in 1999, my parents argued with me about the one thing I wanted at that funeral (which, of course, was held in a KH): one of his paintings on an easel for people to see as they walked in. He was a wonderful artist, and I wanted people to see who he was. My parents argued that this would "detract from Jehovah." But I pitched enough of a fit that they did as I asked. And I did Dad's and Mom's funerals exactly as I wanted: we remembered the people and the impact they made while they were alive.

    Nina

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