I love what lady lee said about how failure to love was already breaking the vows. The abuse from my husband and witnesses responses to it and thinking the only reason for divorce is fornication is what lead to my doubts initially. I felt that no loving god could possibly expect my children and i to live with a man who called us names, intimidated us, physically abused me, and would drive recklessly with us in the car, so on and so on. Since leaving him he did commit adultery however I forgave this of my own free will, not because of guilt or pressure from them. It feels good to do something because I wanted to not because I was told to. In my experience after leaving him, I have learned that I can take care of myself without a man which leads me to love and respect myself. Once we respect ourselves we will accept no less from those we allow in our lives. I have also learned that it was easy for me to stay and blame him for any problems in my life. I do not know your whole story but you said you are codependent and that you cared for your family, this is probably where that stems from. I went to the library and checked out several books about this, maybe that would be of some help to you. It made me realize us codependents CHOOSE people we feel need us to fix them. We do this because without someone in our lives to fix we have to take a look at ourselves and where WE need to improve. I realize this was my problem and why I also hate to be alone, perhaps that is also your fear of being alone. You are certainly not a failure you are human and have issues as we all do. As the others said be proud of your children and the fact that you have done well in that area and accept that in your heart. Then look at other areas where you have strength, we all have them we are just the last to see the good in ourselves. I am sorry you are going through such a tough time, but for me leaving my husband was the best thing I could have done for myself to grow as a person. Try looking at it in a positive light as a chance for you to get to know yourself again or maybe find yourself for the first time. Good luck in all you do. I hope the best for you and your children.
Feel like a failure
by love2Bworldly 21 Replies latest jw friends
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Lady Lee
It made me realize us codependents CHOOSE people we feel need us to fix them. We do this because without someone in our lives to fix we have to take a look at ourselves and where WE need to improve.
exactly.