How Were You Treated By The Elders?

minimus

Generally, were you treated with respect, kindness and empathy or did the elders treat you badly??

daystar

They treated me badly when I thought that I needed them the most. I was a good kid who had mis-stepped and needed kind guidance, not ruthlessness, which is what I got.

The weird thing was that the Elders and other older members of the congregation were the nicest to me. I was seventeen when I just stopped going to the KH mostly because there were never any other kids my age who were willing to give me the time of day, much less provide me with enough of a social life to stop me from associating with all those "wicked" kids at school.
Of course, after I hadn't been to the KH in over a week or so I kept getting calls from a couple of the Elders for a while, all of which I ignored. I didn't want to ruin the one thing about going to the KH which I remembered fondly by getting tied up in the politics that were sure to follow.

lonelysheep

I was ignored.

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

For me they are hot then cold then hot then cold then indifferent...they were sometimes really kind and nice to me, sometimes downright cruel to me, sometimes ignored me... I prefer getting ignored because when they are nice it's because it's their "job," not because they want to be nice.

Fleur

Ignored till I asked for help with my abusive mate. Then, they compared me to the wife of Job and encouraged me to "be a better wife, and pray more."

b@($(&*(*^!*^%s!

There were one or three in my whole life who showed kindness and genuine concern toward me. Unfortunately one of them died suddenly, very young, and the others are so old and sick now.

essie

undercover

A little from column A and a little from column B

I've known some really nice, merciful elders, who truly try to be good fathers, good husbands, good men. I've seen them emotionally scarred at having to enforce organizational procedures and discipline. I've seen them break down and cry because they had to DF someone. I've seen them give of their homes to people who needed help. I've seen them give, not loan, money to the needy in the congregation. I think some of these men actually believe that God is operating through the WTS and they want to be the best and give the best they can to further the good cause they believe in.

But I've also known out and out assholes. Men who didn't give a shit about anybody but getting ahead in the organization. Men who led witch hunts against others in the congregation just because they didn't like them. Men who cheated publishers out of money. Men who cheated on their wives and then lied out of it. Men who showed zero mercy to one who was hauled up on a JC meeting, but had no qualms about lying their way out of an embarrassing situation.

The fact that I've seen extremes of both and all kinds in between shows me that the WTS doesn't have God's spirit more than any other religion because they all have this same thing in common; some good leaders, some good men, some bad leaders, some bad men. God's spirit, if it acted as the JWs beleive would never allow such bad men to get in a position to influence an elder body or hurt the sheep.

kid-A

You know, the funny thing is, I came from a pretty "liberal" hall, if such a term is possible. The elders were all extremely laid back and all pretty big drinkers. More importantly, you could actually

have "normal", non-witness conversations with them. I even worked for some of them when I was a teen-ager. Not once did they pressure me to get baptized or any such thing. Maybe I had immunity

since my own dad was an elder. There was even one that encouraged my university education and always asked about my studies and courses. I was very lucky in that regard. It really depended on the hall you

ended up in. My war was with the "theology" and lies of the watchtower corporation.

flag

Well, since I never ask them for any advice or called them in the middle of the night to ask them what color shoes I should wear the next day. They never bothered me even if sometimes I noticed that they did not agree with my decisions. I always drew my line on the sand with them.

Now that I haven't been attending meetings for almost 4 months, I have had only one elder visit.

Few phone calls from some sisters, and that's about it.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting that coldness because I was in a fairly good status in the congregation.

Attending meetings regularly, never been in jc's, never been in gosip, but as soon I stopped going to meetings and preaching they forgot about me.

But that's ok I rather not confronting them.

MinisterAmos

Apfergus described one of the crueler aspects of the cult. Most congos run 60-80 people plus or minus which means the odds of a kid finding someone their age to hang with are almost nil. Figure most High Schools have maybe 1500 kids and the really weird ones, like Dubz, can't find a single friend. Means they are farked when the population including old people etc. is only 80 people.

If the Elder Body happens to be particularly inventive, they are stuck with those same values until they move or DA

Now they have to find a mate out of those 80? Etc.?