by Es 40 Replies latest jw friends
My dad was the Cong. Servant or PO by todays standards and he was the best dad anyone could have had. We could make our own choices in about everything we did. He trusted my brother and I. We could even date worldly girls if we wanted to. I think he loved this life and didn't want to keep us from enjoying it too. He died when we were 19 and 21. He was just 45. We sure missed him.
Ken P.
When I read some of the experiences on threads like this one, it makes me so happy that I was in the wts on my own, and none of my family ever joined. I remember how children of elders and other jws were pressured in my kh, never trusted, criticised for the merest hint of misbehaviour, never allowed to lead anything remotely resembling a normal life. I never had that inflicted on me, and I never inflicted it on anyone else. I really feel for those who had to put up with it.
It's no wonder then that so many 2ng or 3rd generation jws grow up with feelings of insecurity, and how so many of them go so completetly off the rails if they leave.
Hey undecided your dad seemed a wonderful man you were very lucky.
This topic has made me realise i let my dad get away with soo much and if he ever spoke to me again it would be something i would def bring up.
es
My room was constantly searched, therefore I learned carpentry, and made items with false bottoms . I was an elder's kid, but I was always held to a standard higher than anyother elder's kid. I never wrote in a journal, except at school (and that journal was burned on the last day of school). Even in that journal, I could not be truthful, because I knew the trouble I would get into if a teacher called my parents about something in the journal.
My eyes opened once I read 1984, and I saw an allegory of life as a J-Dub. The fear of independent thinking. The fear of individuality. The confusion of unity with uniformity. There is so much that I learned from that book. I am forever in the debt of George Orwell.
Forensic psychologist say control freak cult leaders like Jim Jones and David Koresh will never give up (abdicate) control they will commit suicide or die in flames.We can indeed see a like arrogance with the Watchtower leadership.In his last days Jim Jones paranoia had spun completely out of control,yes 'paranoia will destroy ya'-Danny Haszard Bangor Maine
Wow Es
Reading stuff like these posts makes me really glad i wasn't brought up in the faith. All fathers (and Mothers) are understandingly protective of their kids, but a little discretion wouldn't go amiss. Thing is, it was often the over-zealous elders that acually ended up covering over stuff that their kids had done wrong. Happy days.
Peace
Lowden
I only became a JW when 27 years old, so I don't have your backgrounds. I'm sorry about the skateboard sawn in half, reading diaries, and checking to see if girls were pregnant. Any Psych major in his first week of class will tell you how damaging all this control is. No wonder kids who leave the WT when 18 years old have so many troubles. Rest assured that the problem is NOT the JW kids, it's the parents. Any parent who would rip apart a kid's bedroom is mentally deranged. And the more you squeeze kids, the more they slip out of your hand. That's why so many quit when they reach the legal age. Then the parent says, "I don't know why, we brought them up right." Like hell you did, morons.
Paul speaks of solid food and getting off of milk. He also mentions making your own decisions. How can young people learn to do that if everything they do is watched? This sounds like a strip search in prison. The kind of family atmosphere that this rigid upbringing produces is exactly the reason why JW kids end up doing the things they do when grown up, like date non-JW's, smoke, sex, and using make-up without a hall pass from Ted Jaracz. (If you're reading this, Ted, I know you. You do have a nice voice when you give talks, but you need years of psychiatric treatment. And don't bother with the crap about me being an evil slave. I've heard it all and YOU are the insane one. Why don't you walk across the New Jersey Turnpike at night?? Thank you.)
My book is going to include the damage done to young people, not just in the area of child abuse sexually, but in other areas. JW parents are responsible for so much of the mental illness that their children have because of the strict manner in which they raise them. Teenagers need privacy, trust, and independence. Tearing apart a teenager's bedroom is so uncalled for. Why don't you let your kids tear apart YOUR bedroom?? How many sex items might they find? How many fathers would NOT want that being done?? Or mothers too for that matter?? You HYPOCRITES!! What if your kid found that pistol (only for protection against burglars, right?, but they're not allowed) and shot himself by mistake? What if the teenager found love letters to the father from a mistress on the side? Then maybe the mother would shoot the father instead of the teenager.
How about "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? Oh, yeah, the baby boomers are now elders. How much pot do some "elders" have or MS's or just plain fathers?? I'd love to see some kid find pot in his parent's room and call the cops. I'd laugh my ass off for weeks.
Well, I think that's enough for one post. Again, my sympathies to those who have been hurt emotionally or had property taken or destroyed. Your day will come when you have kids and raise them properly by NOT using Gestapo tactics. And to you parents breaking the rules by being here and reading this right now, I'll say this. When your daughter gets pregnant or your son gets the cops into your life, it will be YOUR fault, not theirs. And again I'll remind you, don't argue with me. Steve Hassan wrote an excellent book on cults, Randy has posted dozens of articles, and I have a degree in Psych. Don't even try to pit your window washing brains against the common sense that we "apostates" possess.
Isn't it funny that you have to quit "the truth" to find "the truth". Odd, wouldn't you say?? I can be reached using my alias [email protected] Thomas King. My best to all.
This thread sure brought up a lot of memories . . and not good ones.
My dad was never and elder, closest he came was a MS. My mom would go through my school books, my purse, my mail . .anything she could get her hands on. The thing is that I was a "perfect" JW growing up. It wasn't until I married at 19 and realized what a mistake I made that I became "bad" in their eyes.
My dad would fall asleep drunk everynight but they were worried if I was passing notes in school to worldy boys!
My Dub wifes Dad was exactly the same... the sad truth was that HE was the sinner and he hid it (adulterer and porno freak and alkeeholic) and blamed his kids for EVERYTHING... and was especially jealous of keeping his gawd given "privileges".
If your reading the Paul Bowles of Harlan Iowa.... you can KMA!!!
u/d(of the hates these types with a passion class)
There are "religious fanatics" in every religion, not all elders are like that.
