In the beginning, the universe was boiling water and powdered grain and egg and cylinders of wood. And His Noodliness gathered the powdered grain and egg and mixed and kneaded them with His blessed appendages and saw that it was good. And He took the cylinder of wood and He rolled His creation until it was flat, and He saw that it was good. And He cut his creation into thin ribbons and saw that it was good. And His Noodliness took the thin ribbons and placed them gently into the boiling water. And He waited until his creation became limp in His blessed appendages and saw that it was good and as He poured his creation through the Colander of Goodness, He named His creation Spaghetti.
And there was day, and there was night, and there was the first meal.
And over the generations, His creation multiplied and prospered and took different forms of His divine image. Spaghetti begat Linguini and Fettucini and Angelhair and Spaghettini. And Radiatori and Rotini sprang forth from the boiling waters, and Ravioli and Bowtie, and His Noodliness saw them and blessed them with His appendages.
Prayer Room - To Jesus. WELCOME!!!
by BlessedStar 88 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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SickofLies
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SickofLies
Then The Flying Spaggetti Monster Looked Over The Land And He Saw All Was Well. And He Wanted Nothing Changed, He Wandered Further To The Home Of Fusili, Where a Man Was Sacrificing His Crop Of Pasta To mThe Almighty, His Noodlyness Looked Down, and He Was Pleased. He Saw That All Was Right In The World.
Then, The Next Day, The Unholy Rice Grain Came From The Bottom of The Pan And Said: I Can See All Is Right In The World, And What Great Work You Have Done Here, I See The Human Fusili You Like So Much, Are You Sure His Worship And Sauce Is Pure?
His Noodlyness then said: Yes, I am Sure His Sauce Is Pure And Without Tainting.
More To Come -
SickofLies
A short Introduction to Chinese Pastafarianism
Foreword
As it is well known to the true believer, Pastafarianism is the oldest and only true Religion of this world, this galaxy and the whole multiverse. Therefore the belief in Its Divine Noodleness The Flying Spaghethi Monster has to be the first religion of mankind, all others being heretic diversions from the true belief. In case, there would have been any other belief before pasterianism, belief in itself would be wrong. But, as wn know, pasterianism is true, it has to have been the first of all beliefs. Q.E.D.
Religion is a product of culture and civilization. Only the cultured Homo Sapens was able to grasp the meaning of divine truth, thus passing the thin line between animal and man. Unsurprisingly we find the oldest signs of pasterfarian religion in the oldest layers of the oldest human civilisations: Egypt, Mesepotamia and China.
This serial of articles adresses the English speaking occidental audience, as there is so far no English language literature on Chinese pasterianism available. The great ENCYCLOPEDIA RAMENICA SINENSIS is produced, due to academic tradition, in the language of Leibnitz and Einstein and so far no translation is available.
The Academia Ramenica will be delighted for comments and wishes you to enjoy the first chapter.
I. The Origins
In the beginning there was the Da Mei You
The Da Mei You beared Da Sheng Mien
Wan Wan lies Da Sheng Mien
Da Sheng Mien (gives) the bodyly apearance (and) existance
United is Tai Mien
This version of the pastafarian creation myth was recorded by the auther from the K’a’Ang, a canibalistic mountain tribe in the southern ranges of the Kunlun mountains. In contrast of the classic Chinese versions pastafarian truth comes clear along the lines.
Da (big, great, grand) Mei (not nothing) You (to have, posses, being in existence) adresses the absolute nothing Da Sheng (birth, give birth) Mien (noodle), the grand birth-giver of Mien, the universal noodle. In a very colloqial way Da Sheng Mien might be translated as the Grand Universal Dough, which does not really reflect the trancendental richness of this expression . Wan (ten thousand) Wan (bowls) tells us about the incredible size of the Da Sheng Mien . The bodyly appearance clearly refers to the Tiao (see below) and the existance to the Mien (also below). Tai (Heavan, divine) Mien, the divine noodle is united. This last remark cleary prooves the holy duality of the FSM, the principle of noodleliness in ultimate co-existence with the quasi-material manifestation.
As a modern re-interpretation we might recapitulate the text in modern language: Out of the absolute nothing the Divine Dough created itself by its own divine will. In this period quantum physics did not exist, as time and space where not yet separated. When time and matter where separated also matter/energy came into existance. Time and space are the two components of Tiao, Mien represents the matter. As soon as the modern relativity and quantum physics where existent, also The Flying Spaghetti Monster was existent, that means FSM was never created, FSM has to exist as soon as relativity and quantum physics are around.
CONCLUSION: Allready the ancient Chinese where well aware of the existance of ITS DIVINE NOODLYNESS THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER and by oral tradition told their descendents the truth about the creation of the universe.
The coming article will tell you how the holy book Mien Qing was given to the first humans Ping and Pong by ITS DIVINE NOODLYNESS THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER personally and how the Chinese dicovered the Holy Duality.
RAMEN! -
BlessedStar
BlessedStar
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kid-A
KID-A, you see this man? Yes, he made a mistake but asked for forgiveness before the world
Yes Hibie, I have seen him. My dark secret is.....Jimmy Swaggart is my dad. I am the bastard child of Dad and his hotel tryst with a pole dancer from Atlanta. Heres a picture of Dad, uncle Jerry, cousin Bubba and me, circa 1992. Hibie, it feels so good to get this off my chest. I love you Dad !!!!!
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JamesThomas
" Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My Father in heaven. But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven "
BlessedStar, what does it really mean to be "disowned" by your deity? What punishment or price will I pay who do not accept your god?
j
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Jake99
I have never seen prayer resolve a single problem. Intelligence solves problems and the problems of the world can be solved by unifying under one non profit standardized and unionized transparent operating system. I want to pay by the hour or salary and take profits completely out of the system. I want the Internet in every home and the street markets, money changers and small business out of existence.
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atypical
It seems to me that those who claim they have had prayers answered are asserting an arrogance so vast it is almost "divine".
I agree with Starting Over. If I were to say that my prayer for a new job, etc. were answered, I am basically saying that even the mundane aspects of my life are much more important than the suffering and deaths of others. I have heard the argument that we cannot understand the reasons for what God does. If that is the case, then we cannot understand how to worship or pray to him/it/her.
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BlessedStar
That still doesn't asnwer why it's necessary to ask. And even if you do ask and he's only going to give you what you need according to his will, then why bother?
It's like this - You need to open your mouth and pray for your heart's desires. It really works. Parents know what is best for their babies/children, they don't always say yes to the child because it may not be good for him or her. Likewise God knows what is best for us. We must bother because God really does care for us.
blessedstar
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