Experiences: How you know it ain't the 'truth'

by LDH 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  LDH

  Please post your experiences here for any lurkers to read. Maybe they will see themselves in one.....

  When I was a teenager, there was a young lady early 20's who had moved into our cong. She had a newborn son and had just married her worldly boyfriend, the father of the baby. She was df'd when she came to our cong.

  They were very poor and very young, and she didn't know anyone. Yet she was supposed to make it to all the meetings. You know what some of the elders told her? To get a taxi, that would show she wanted to put her money where her mouth was. When she protested that she didn't have enough money, they told her to 'set her priorities.'

  My father, also an elder, took it upon himself to call on her and tell her we (our family) would be more than happy to pick her and her baby up for the meetings. She jumped at the offer. So I remember, for about six months, leaving the house one half hour early to pick Laura and Matthew up. (Going to the bookstudy was a two hour process, although we lived one block from the KH)

  New York winters are cold. It wasn't just a matter of her jumping in the car and us speeding off. No, it required the fastening in of a child car seat, loading up book and diaper bags, and heading off to the hall. All the while, my family spoke lovingly to Matthew, but we didn't say schitt to his mom. When we dropped her back off at home, my dad would frequently ask if they had enough food for the family, and how her husband was doing.

  She eventually got reinstated. ALL full credit to my father, who was more concerned about her than about rules.

  I think you'll find that most of the people like myself who were df'd and then reinstated (me after only four months of being df'd) were treated worse than dirt.

  Maybe you should think about the ramifications of making a huge mistake in your life and needing the support of your friends and having nothing and no one to turn to because you've alienated everyone else with your wierd freakin religion. Although I lived at home, there were other elders who pressured my father to KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE! and let me find my own way!

  The cruelty is so far removed from the love that Jesus showed to sinners, it drives me crazy.

  Lisa
  I'm not perfect, just forgiven class
• 

  ballistic

  The whole disfellowshipping thing is barbaric. Disfellowshipping on it's own is enough to prove they don't have "the truth".
  They will pour out attention and time in studying and helping non-believing new-comers, but when it comes to one of their own slipping up, THEY KICK YOU IN THE TEETH WHILE YOUR DOWN.

  When I was disfellowshipped, I was only 22 and going through a divorce at the same time. I also was out of work. It was the equivalent to going into solitary confinement. And when I phoned an elder for some moral support (I was feeling suicidal) do you know what he said?????

  PHONE THE SAMARITANS OR THE CITIZENS ADVICE BEUREAU!
• 

  bboyneko 2

  Dissfelowshipping and never doing any charity for fellow man are two marks that go against it being 'the truth'

  These people have like a zillion dollars and they pour it all into creating more kingdom halls and printing books. WHat about the homeless sleeping on the very streets of brooklyn new york? What about the poor and malnurished in 3rd world countries? I know! Lets ive them a watchtower!

  what morons.

  Matthew 25
  34
  "Then the King will say to those on his right, `Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
  35
  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,
  36
  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
  37
  "Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?
  38
  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?
  39
  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
  40
  "The King will reply, `I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
  41
  "Then he will say to those on his left, `Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
  42
  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,
  43
  I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
  44
  "They also will answer, `Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
  45
  "He will reply, `I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
  46
  "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

  -Dan
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  LDH

  Thanks guys, I agree. But I'm hoping for this just to be an experiences thread. For the lurkers. I don't want to do any reasoning on why it's not the truth, I just want personal experiences. (I think the rest will take care of itself)

  Thanks,

  Lisa
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  Deacon

  Ill get back to this one later....its a good one
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  safe4kids

  Hey Lisa,

  This is a great idea for a thread....hopefully, it will help some folks (lurkers, etc) to reason on the WTS.

  One of my experiences was when I went to the elders for help in dealing with the issue of my sexual abuse. I had always been taught that the elders were a 'safe haven' and to go to them when there was a need. I've posted my story in the personal experiences forum but one thing that stands out is how I was treated by the elders. At first, they were very warm and welcoming to me but as time progressed there was a subtle and then not so subtle shift in their attitude towards me. My abuser was a member of my congregation and I was having difficulty going to the meetings (with two young children, I might add) and listening to him saying prayers, etc. I did NOT bother the elders on a daily or even weekly basis. I didn't ask them to take away his priveleges in the congregation. I wasn't a troublemaker. All I asked for was help for me and my children. They assured me that we would be included in their family outings, meals whatever. Never happened. One of the elders gave me his pager number and told me to call him at ANY time, he would be there for me. I called him ONCE and he was so very cold that I never did it again. I recently read one of the BOE letters on Silentlambs page and found out why their attitudes changed. Apparently, my needs were taking up too much of their time, in their opinion. BTW...this same elder while never inviting me and my family to a meal, did however see fit to ask my abuser and his family out. That may sound petty but the hurt went deep. Long story short, altho my abuser finally (under pressure and at the word of two other victims) admitted to what he'd done, there was NO disciplinary action taken. In fact, right after this, he was made a regular pioneer. And the congregation was kept in the dark completely. There were no warnings to other parents, no restrictions placed upon him. And I was offered no help other than to be told how unforgiving I was being. I was also accused of causing divisions in the congregation which was a laugh as the only person I had spoken to about the situation, besides elders, was one elder's wife. The final straw for me was when one of my children was molested by an immediate family member of my abuser ALL DUE TO MY FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF MY 'SAFE HAVENS' and ignoring my own instincts. The only real action I saw by the elders was to quickly implement a CYA policy and do their best to shut me up.
  So I left. That was about 4 years ago and today I don't look back. I'm relieved to be out of an environment that punishes victims and rewards those who prey on others.

  Dana

  "I undid his head collar and took him outside for a drink, and felt, if not exactly a communion with him, at least an awareness of being a fellow creature on a lonely planet."

  Dick Francis in "To The Hilt"
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  cosmo

  My reasoning for knowing that the Corporation (or to others the Organization) isn't spreading the truth is during my engagement and marriage to a JW, (I'm not one, but most of my family and hers are one) both of our families were pressured not to attend the wedding. What kind of BS is that. Not once was I asked any questions by her Elders, my Mom's elders, or her Parents elders. To them I was the anti-christ. My mother had to go through 3 little elf meetings (One I walked into at my mothers house and boy did they scurry like little elves.) None of my sisters could be in the wedding party, and I couldn't even have my best friend, my brother be my Best Man. And for what? They marked my wife (fiance then), made visiting her and my family difficult, and basically just turned me off to their ideology. Who do these people think they are? Elders?, that's a laugh. You have to be wise and mature to be one. Once I had an elder spying on my house to see if my then fiance would come over without a chaperone. What right do they have to spy? I snuck up on him and told him and asked him this same question. He didn't answer so I told him to get leave (it's a private street). I saw him again a week later and it's amazing what a pellet shot from an air rifle does to a radiator. Never saw him again.

  I hope someday to show my wife the wrongs that have been done to her and her family by her "organization". I won't try to force her out knowing what would happen to her emotionally if I did. Hope I didn't bore anyone with my story.

  PS. The little elves took my nephew's "privleges" away since he went to the wedding. He's only 14.
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  conflicted

  Our congregation attended the summer convention at Dodger stadium, so there were a lot of people in attendance. One year our congregation was chosen to help in food services and I volunteered.

  When I arrived (2 1/2 hours before the start of the first talk) I reported to "kitchen" - and area under the outfield bleachers where tables were set up for sandwich prep. It didn't take long to find where my congregation was setting up, but when I got there the CO was telling everyone to split up and got to the other tables and meet new people. So off I went, table after table where when I asked if they could use any help I was told "No" - although it was appearant that there was work to be done. Finally I found a place to work, it was a happy table, the witnesses were really having a good time about their chores, and they said it was fine for me to join them, but as soon as I stepped up, SILENCE. And any attempt on my part to liven it back up was shot down swiftly - even my indroducing myself was met with cold replies.

  I finished my work in silence, and thought "These are supposed to be 'God's' people? Turning a cold shoulder just because someone isn't immediately familiar?"

  How are these people supposed to bring in a new reign of God's kingdom on Earth when they can't even act civil amongst themselves?

  (I'll pop in later with some more experiences, Until then - XXOO)
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  Daisymay

  There are kids out there so afraid of getting DF'ed that they never get baptised - that's me and a few of my old friend (former JW's). I knew from 3rd grade on that the truth wasn't for me. My mom had been DF'ed for divorcing my dad who was abusive to her and my little bro. We were alienated and treated like enemies by our closest friends and JW extended family members. My bro., sis, and I ended up living with my dad (his wife and her 2 kids) who was an elder also. She was a pioneer w/a racy and drug filled prior life - what conviction I swear! My dad grew up in a machismo world and wanted control - I was the submissive and obidient elder's daughter until around 13/14. At that point a girl really needs friends, slumber party's, movies, you know fun! I went to school, came home, did chores, homework and studied - i think we watched 1 hr. of TV. I didn't sneak out or sleep around - are you kidding - my dad was the gestapo! I did have a part-time job at 31-flavors - it was awesome! My dad made me quit b/c I had a boy friend and wouldn't break up with him (he barely got to 1st base!) I was given the title of Bad Association because I told my dad I didn't want to be a JW and that I didn't believe many of there teachings. It's sad that you can't be yourself - be on the track team, join an after school sport or play an instrument, receive dance lessons or whatever. I wasn't bad association. I was just growing up!

  Daisy
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  Billygoat

  I was 19 and on public reproof for getting drunk and having my first sexual experience with a worldly boyfriend. I did everything I could to get off the hit list and be a good JW girl. Broke of associations from my worldly friends, made all the meetings, studied my Watchtower, field service, etc. Slowly I wound up getting back into my worldly co-workers circle and drinking again. After a few weeks of this, I went back to the elders and told them that I thought I had a drinking problem and needed some help pulling away from the bad associations in my life. I just didn't know how to do it. They disfellowshipped me.

  Andi