It also varies from hall to hall. Where I was at a woman that was being abused was going to leave her husband (he was not a JW) and the presiding overseer told her that if she did he'd disfellowship her. He'd do it, too. I swear I think he got off df'ing people.
Is there new light on separation/divorce?
by somebodylovesme 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
garybuss
They allow divorce for just about any reason. It's remarriage they forbid.
-
West70
Evidently, there has been NEW LIGHT on RE-MARRIAGE sometime in the past (nearly) 10 years (since I first became inactive).
As some of you know, in Spring 2005, my JW Ex-wife not only was given permission to RE-MARRY a widowed Elder, but was granted the "privilege" of a Kingdom Hall wedding.
My EX could NOT have "proven" adultery/fornication for one simple, yet excellent reason:
Because I am "NOT GUILTY".
My EX knew I was "NOT GUILTY", and so did the Elders in my town. However, that did not stop those Elders, nor even my own JW relatives, from attending the wedding festivities in the adjacent Congregation.
I even approached one local Elder to find out how my EX and her Co-conspirators pull this SCAM off.
The local Elder told me that the Society now allows an active JW Divorcee to merely sign an affidavit stating that they know their Ex committed adultery either before or after the Divorce, and everything is then kosher.
The signing of the affidavit essentially relieves the local BOE of any "responsibilities" before Jah, and the legal system.
Thus, I was falsely branded an "adulterer" to every JW who ever knew me, and the local JWs (including my family) participated in the frame-up.
My only recourse was to sue my Ex for slander, which would have been pointless.
All this goes to show that once you are labeled an "apostate", the JWs will stop at nothing to destroy your character. -
blondie
You are thinking of this policy regarding a letter. It is at the discretion of the local BOE. I have seen BOEs not let a sister or a brother invoke this to get a scriptural divorce. Evidently there are BOEs that will....no holy spirit behind that.
***
w77 10/1 pp. 607-608 Questions from Readers ***•
My unbelieving husband admitted to me that he has another woman. Is his admission sufficient ground for a Scriptural divorce?In some cases if a Christian’s unbelieving mate admits to committing immorality, that would provide a Scriptural basis for a divorce, which, in turn, would free the innocent Christian for remarriage if desired.
Jehovah God’s law to the ancient nation of Israel made provision for divorce on various grounds. (Deut. 24:1, 2) Adultery, homosexuality and bestiality were bases for ending a marriage; the guilty person was to be executed. (Deut. 22:22-24; Lev. 18:22, 23) However, the Law set forth this important requirement: "At the mouth of two witnesses or of three witnesses the one dying should be put to death. He will not be put to death at the mouth of one witness." (Deut. 17:6; 19:15; Num. 35:30) Being a "lover of righteousness and justice," Jehovah required that such matters be determined on the basis of proof, of witnesses, not merely suspicion. (Ps. 33:5) This, of course, was stated as regards applying the death penalty, not as regards a divorce action.
Another situation dealt with in the Law also illustrates the importance of proof. What was a man to do if he suspected that his wife had committed adultery but she denied it and there were no witnesses? God’s law outlined a step that could be taken, but it was a drastic one that could have lasting effects for the wife if she was guilty or for the husband if she was innocent. She could be brought before the priest and made to share in a prescribed procedure involving drinking some special water. If she was guilty, she would experience the divine punishment of her ‘thigh falling away,’ apparently meaning that her sexual parts would atrophy and she would lose her ability to conceive. (Num. 5:12-31) Evidently in such cases the adulterous wife, though receiving this extraordinary punishment from God, because she denied guilt and there were not the required two witnesses, was not executed.
What is the situation today in the Christian congregation? Is it possible to obtain substantial testimony as to the grounds for a Scriptural divorce?
Jesus himself stated that for his followers the only ground for divorce, such as would free a person for remarriage, is if one’s mate commits porneia, gross sexual immorality. (Matt. 19:9) Would there be sufficient ground for divorce if a Christian wife merely suspected that her husband was guilty of adultery? No, for the Christian Greek Scriptures carry forward the principle of a matter’s being established by two or three witnesses, as a balanced sense of justice requires. (John 8:17, 18; 1 Tim. 5:19; Heb. 10:28) So, if a wife merely suspected her husband of adultery, but he denied it and there were no witnesses to confirm it, she would not have sufficient basis for establishing with the Christian congregation that she had a right to divorce him and thus be free to remarry.
In some cases, though, an unbelieving mate admits to being immoral. A husband, for instance, might even boast of it to his wife as a taunt to hurt her. She might choose to overlook his waywardness. But what if she feels she cannot or should not? Is his confession enough proof?
In this situation it is not as if he professes innocence or adamantly denies being guilty of adultery. Rather, he admits it to her, though for the sake of his reputation he might not be willing to own up to it in a court of law or before other persons. What can the wife do?
Since she is part of the clean Christian congregation, she should realize the importance of handling the matter properly so that, after divorcing him, if she later remarried there would be no question about her keeping ‘the marriage bed without defilement.’ (Heb. 13:4) To that end she could give the elders representing the congregation a letter outlining her situation, stating that her unbelieving husband confessed to her that he had committed immorality. And she could state that in accord with Matthew 19:9 she wishes to put him away, obtaining a legal divorce and thus ending the marriage Scripturally and legally.
The elders would consider whether there is any known reason to conclude other than that the unbelieving mate had been immoral. If not, they could accept her signed statement.
‘But,’ someone might say, ‘is it not possible to submit a deceptive, untruthful statement, saying that her husband confessed immorality when he actually never said that?’ Actually, it would be gross deception for anyone to try that. David once prayed: "You have examined my heart, you have made inspection by night, you have refined me; you will discover that I have not schemed." (Ps. 17:3) Conversely, Jehovah is well aware when someone does scheme and He will make sure that the person does not lastingly succeed. Hence, if a Christian woman goes on record as stating that her husband has admitted immorality, Jehovah knows the facts. As the Bible says: "There is not a creation that is not manifest to his sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting."—Heb. 4:13; Prov. 5:21; Jer. 16:17.
So if there is no reason to doubt the wife’s statement, the congregation elders can leave the matter between her and Jehovah. In that case she would have to bear before God the responsibility as to the actuality of her husband’s immoral course, which would be the Scriptural basis for ending the marriage even if the legal divorce were obtained on some other ground.
-
Woofer
My sister DA'd herself several years ago and married a worldly guy. He was later put in prison for about a 10 year sentence. After he went to jail, she got reinstated, but she was not free to remarry just because he was in jail. He submitted a letter to my sister stating that he was having a homosexual affair with another inmate. That gave her grounds for a divorce. Fast forward a few years and he is about to get released. My mom tells me that they still love each other and plan on getting back together after he gets out. I asked my mom "I thought he was gay??" My mom said that my sister and her asked Bill to write that letter so that she could get divorced and possibly remarry and she told me that the letter was made up.
Imagine my shock. My parents refused to see me (but would still talk to me on the phone) but they took part in a scheme to get my sister divorced! Where were they when I wanted a divorce?????
After that I asked my mom to no longer contact me.
Just goes to show you how f*&^%$ up that religion is.
-
West70
Blondie:
Thank you for digging up that October 1977 QFR. Can I assume that there were no previous or subsequent references to JWs being allowed this "exception" to the general rule?
I finding the timing (10/77) of this easing of restrictions by the Governing Body on marital-sexual matters to be "very interesting".
First, in 10/77, I was inactive and not attending meetings due to going through the initial separation of my first marriage/divorce. Thus, I missed this "new light".
Second, I wonder which Governing Body Member in 1977 was responsible for talking the other GBers into granting this easing of policy, which basically gives any divorced JW the "green light" to falsely accuse their Ex. While optional at the whim of the local BOEs, the scenarios as to whom it will and won't be used against are fairly obvious.
I wonder just how often this exception has been permitted over the past 30 years? I obviously had not heard of it. The local Elder (who is not the typical local hick eder) who related the info to me in my Ex's case spoke as if it were something "new" to him. (He could have been "theo waring" me.) He specifically referred to the "statement" as a "signed affidavit", rather than a mere letter. I wonder if the other BOE that permitted the affidavit/letter worked from instructions from Brooklyn?
What still irks me is that all involved local JWs -- from my Ex, to my local BOE (which has not dared to try to DF me), to even my local JW relatives -- ALL KNEW I WAS NOT GUILTY, YET PARTICIPATED IN THE CONSPIRACY TO FALSELY LABEL ME AS GUILTY.
In any event, the joke(S) on them -- with the fact that the WatchTower now has an Elder/Elderette living in adulterous sin (per their standards) being one of the lesser "jokes".
... Several interesting tidbits here.... hmmmm. -
blondie
West70, all I can say is it depends on the BOE. Some drag it out and use it; others won't touch the concept with a 10-foot pole.
I'm sure they would use it to help out a fellow elder who is trying to get free of a mate "scripturally" because he has a sweetie in the wings.
You can see how this illustrates that holy spirit is not involved in the BOE decisions...how could the HS give one BOE a different direction that another?
Blondie
-
blondie
Can you imagine an Israelite man going to the elders at the gate and giving them a letter to say his wife committed adultery? Would they execute her as the Law allows?
Blondie
-
PoppyR
Wow Blondie, thanks for that, I didn't know that article existed and I might want to make use of it myself at some point, as I am legally (but not scripturally) separated, and have a dilemma, as on the one hand I cannot admit adultery (if it should take place ) because I dont want to be DFd.. however I also dont want to make my ex have to wait until I should remarry before he is free, because it's just not fair on him and I dont know how long, if ever that will be!
meaning that her sexual parts would atrophy and she would lose her ability to conceive
I also have never read this! Talk about witch trials, drink this water and we'll see if you have sinned or not!
Poppy x
-
Gregory
are you a baptized JW? From my understanding the information from the 10/77 question from readers about the signed statement only applies if the aledged adulterous person is an unbeliver. Is that true>