Here is a question I received from an anonymous poster. Getting this PM made my day. He asks a universal question, so I decided to answer the best I can in public.
"I don't need to read another book or listen to another CD to know what life is all about. I get more from talking over the fence with my neighbors, taking a favorite dog for a walk, or telling my granddaughter that she is beautiful and smart.
I'm blushing as a newborn flower-child now. Why worry? Plant tulips instead. Gardening is far more productive."
Question: I am a recently exited JW. I cannot live without hope, but what can I believe; who can I ever trust again? I'm hurting bad, but somehow I need to learn to live all over again. Reading your above comment I consider to be a gift, and I hope I will be able to learn to think like you do. What is your secret?
Answer 1: I’ve noticed some of the happiest people on earth are those who came closest to death. That cold breath chills. Since we know death is inevitable, we have a choice. Give in to it, or fight it. Happy people are fighters.
My secret? I’ve lived several lifetimes of pain already. I lost my mother to mental illness. My first husband beat me in to a submissive shell of my former self. I lost my son to mental illness. I’ve moaned great rifts of pain from the depths of my soul. Where could I go from there except up?
Survivors don’t have much time to mourn their losses, life beckons. Allow your grief for a while, but then forgive yourself, leave the idiots, and move on. The best revenge is a life well-lived.
Answer 2: Ex-JW’s I swear are some of the bravest people on earth. First of all, they risk losing all by admitting what a fool they’ve been. Second, they are forced in to critical self-reflection that most people manage to avoid. Most people bob through life like a cork on the ocean, blaming fate and their mother-in-law for their circumstances.
My secret? Regular critical self-evaluation. I’ve learned to question my own foundations over and over again. And to my joy, I found that God is not offended. One of the books that forced me in to clear thinking, as funny as it seems, is “On Writing Well” by Zinsser. If you have the discipline to follow it’s principles, I guarantee you will become a bolder writer and thinker.
Another great book along the same lines is “ Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Answer 3: Find people who have the “secret” and ask them how they did it. I had some great role models in my grandfather and my stepmom. They tackled life, right to the end .