Would you change the way you left if you could?

Gadget

If you were put in a similar position to when you left the JWs, would you choose to leave in a particular way because of your experiences? If you had nothing to loose from family etc, would you be tempted to leave with a bang, or to get some sort of revenge on those who shun you?

SickofLies

I wouldn't change anything about how I left

looking_glass

I give a lot of credit to people who DA'd themselves. If my family was not in and active, I would DA myself. But it would break my grandparents' heart and my mother's heart and my sister's heart and my niece and nephew's heart. There is more to it then just me. But I think for those that left by their own methods, you should be commended for your strength and presence of mind.

That being said, no a slow fade was the only way to go for me.

Thegoodgirl

I like the way I left, but I wish I would have done it a little bit earlier. It's hard to arrange the logistics of a fade, though.

And if I didn't have any family/friends in? I still would have done it quietly. I have nothing to gain by putting energy into a mindless cult.

KW13

Yeh, its a good question. If it was possible i'd of taken more time to show more people the truth. I had a friend at the time who had doubts but i didn't help him leave. I was wrong to do that.

Lady Lee

Interesting question.

I would change how I did it. I would have walked away. Left my husband and the JWs. I certainly wouldn't be worried about his blood on my hands if went out and committed adultery. I certainly would never have taken that blame on myself. He never did but it was a threat he used to get sex. And it was the threat he used to control me.

My children would have been less traumatized if I had just walked out. They would not have been shunned by the other kids in the cong because of my being DFed. And it would have stopped him from marrying a new "sister" and wrecking their lives.

In my JC the elders asked me "If you had to do it all over would you do the same thing?" My answer was "No". I thought very carefully about it before I answered. But given the situation and my very flawing and suicidal thinking at the time I could not see how I might have done things differently. Given the exact same set of conditions and beliefs I would have made the same choices.

But... and the BUT changes everything. given the info I have now - walking out would have been the best and let him be responsible for his own actions

Scully

Yes.

I wanted to quit at the age of 15, two years before I got baptized in the mistaken belief that it would get my parents to love me again. I wouldn't have wasted another 15 years plodding along in a belief system that placed enormous emotional and psychological burdens on me.

I would probably have a completely different family and living arrangement had I done it that way, so there are some pros and cons to that theory too.

SickofLies

Well, I can see many would say I wish I had left earlier, and I guess if I had left earlier I wouldn't have married a bi-polar JW who really messed up my life, gone through a lot of dpression and things would be totally different in my life.

But then again I would be a totally different person today, these experiences helped shape who I am, and I'm happy with the way I left. I think this has taught me an important lession in life and I don't regret anything, mostly because its a waste of time to do so. I try to look towards the future now.

ballistic

What I would give to do some large parts of my life all over again from scratch!

mrsjones5

I think I left at a good time...before I made the mistake of getting baptised or marrying a jw.

Josie

Would you change the way you left if you could?

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