Would you change the way you left if you could?

by Gadget 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  Satans little helper

  What I would give to do some large parts of my life all over again from scratch!

  Ditto, although I really think that things happen for a reason and have often thought that if I had done things different then I would not have met my wife. I had planned to leave the UK and move to Canada back in 2001 but just as I went out there on a holiday to investigate job opportunities I met my other half, we hit it off and she persuaded me to move to Oz. There are some outcomes I would like to change but I'm not sure that changing things that I have done in the past would bring benefit - some of my biggest cock ups have led to other good things happening.
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  greendawn

  I wouldn't change it, because I left gradually and in order to observe whether the JWs would react in a positive way by helping a "weak sheep" to return to the fold or throw it to the wolves.
  
  They didn't react correctly so I gave in my letter of resignation.
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  cyd0099

  I wish I had been more deliberate. I just sort of faded away but I carried guilt and hung on to dubthink for close to ten years before I allowed myself to really live life as a regular guy.
  
  With a more concrete reason to leave I might have more easily translated from dub to "me". But then again, I might not be the man I am now if I took a different path.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  I wouldn't change the way I left, by writing a letter to tge po da'ing myself, but I wish I'd have sent a few copies to my friends in the cong first, so when the announcement was made they would have known why I'd gone.
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  JH

  I simply faded, and In my case it was the best way to go. Being considered a weak brother doesn't bother me. As long as they leave me alone.
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  Woofer

  I wish I just DA'd myself at 18 instead of being DF'd at 26. I wish I didn't give them the satisfaction of DF me.

  If I had DA'd myself then I never would have married my first husband when I was 19. Then again, I wouldn't have my wonderful son if I had not married his dad.

  All in all, I think things happen for a reason. I'm a lot stronger because of how things panned out. It makes you stronger when you have to face the world alone with no family and no friends to support you. I refuse to let stangers in Brooklyn have such an influence on my life anymore.
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  LittleToe

  Oh pulease - beeehave!!!

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/20680/1.ashx
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  Wolfgirl

  I would have done everything the same, except I wouldn't have let the elders into my home. I would have pretended I wasn't there, or in the shower or something. By letting them in and confirming what my stalking ex-husband told them, I ended up DF'd. So my sister and brother shun me. (Couldn't care less if my parents ever talk to me again.) I only would have gotten a few more months of contact with my siblings, because I ended up living with my now-husband. I suppose I could have hidden that too, but once we got married, it was pointless. I 'didn't have scriptural reasons for divorce,' so I eventually would have been DF'd anyway. But at least I would have had a little more time with my sister, and maybe would have been able to plant some seeds.
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  nelly136

  with hindsight....

  i wouldnt have got baptised. (this would have saved a whole load of crap)

  i wouldnt have put in a letter to df myself.

  i wouldnt have submitted to the accute questioning and interrogations.

  i would have left home sooner as i'd planned, rather than allowing myself to be persuaded to stay on at home.(this just prolonged the agony and gave them the opportunity to throw me out when i was less prepared)

  my dad had it sussed, he got himself dfd for smoking, the family stayed in contact with him, and jw's helped out in his charity shop. (maybe smoking was looked on more as a weekness than a sin?)
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  sass_my_frass

  I've thought about this a lot. I was df'd, and have sometimes thought that I'd have been better off doing a fade. But in my case, my family would have treated me like so much dirt anyway, so I'm glad it was done and dusted in a matter of weeks. I've been more inclined to wish that I'd DA'd - told mum what she thought she needed to hear, and then just written a letter to the elders. Actually, not even done that, just given one an unsigned print of this, told another to shove it, and let them have their little trial without me. They'd have had to read the whole thing to see if I'd identified myself, and that might have planted a tiny seed.

  http://www.disfellowshipped.org/WTfalseprophecy.htm

  I think I wish I'd done that. Doing the right thing by my parents really didn't pay off, and I hate that those guys got to play their sick game with my head.