So Sad....

by StifflersErSlayersBrother 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Esmeralda
    Esmeralda

    Once when I was about four, we were sitting at the bookstudy. It was about to end, the conductor asked if anyone else had any comments to make before the meeting was dismissed with prayer.

    I raised my little dimpled hand, innocently thinking that he was asking for comments on anything. He actually called on me, and I said (something to the effect of)

    "I just want to say that parents should never hit and spank their children, 'cause it really hurts them."

    From the way my mother tells this story (yes, she actually laughs about it!) the flustered conductor simply said "Thank you, that is something important for parents to keep in mind."

    It was never mentioned at home. But see, my mother never hit me at meetings. At home it was the big plastic Avon hairbrushes, and woooden cooking spoons. My dad just used his hand upside my head.

    It's insane, how they rationalize it. My mother says that some parents who twisted hair and ears of their kids at the meetings went too far. But she had no problem, just last week, with lecturing me because I refuse to use physical punishment of any kind on my child. We've done just fine with time outs and other restrictions. I could never inflict physical pain on my own child. And everyone in my family, and my ex's family knows that if anyone ever did 'spank' her, they'd be facing rapid charges of child battery.

    And I was one of the lucky ones, I know. I got off easy.

    I just cannot, for the life of me, imagine all the adults that heard my remark at the meeting and never asked me, or my parents about it. No one seemed to notice. Or care. If I heard a four year old say something like that, you can bet I wouldn't let it go in one ear and out the other.

    Too many bad memories. Takes a lot to get me crying these days. This thread did it.

    essie

  • LDH
    LDH

    People,

    These experiences belong on my Experiences--how you know it ain't the truth! Thread.

    PLEASE consider posting these on that thread. It is important that it stay near the top--there are a lot of lurkers right now due to silent lambs.

    We need to make sure the rest of the children don't have to live like this.
    Lisa

  • Princess
    Princess

    Your experiences are all so horrible. I guess we were just lucky, we never got hit for any of those things. I'm really glad I never had to take my kids to a meeting. They are LOUD and really strong willed.

    When my husband was a kid, his mom let him sit with friends at the meeting. When he was goofing off or sleeping, she would get up, walk across the FRONT of the hall and smack him on the head with her bible. She never has been subtle.

    Princess

  • StifflersErSlayersBrother
    StifflersErSlayersBrother

    Wow, never realized how many of us there were... I wonder if its just dubs or in all religions rhar force their children to sit there and listen to things they will never understand...

  • Bridgette
    Bridgette

    Well, not one for pity parties, but I think this is very important, if it helps children. So, here's MY experience. You can post it anywhere you want if it helps one child. I used to get beat (not spanked, but BEAT) so badly, that even other abusive Jdubs felt sorry for me when they saw my mother jerk me up (even as young as 1 year old) adn hear her heals clicking furiously to the bathroom, or (god forbid) OUTSIDE (rural kingdom hall--screams could not be heard). I was not a bad kid. I AM NOT A BAD PERSON. I was terribly afraid and so shy I used to hurt, actually feel pain when spoken to (now I'm an extrovert). Finally, I remember, in the 80's when they started telling parents NOT TO BEAT (I mean "discipline") their children outside--wouldn't want worldly people to get the "wrong impression", would we? What's sad, is my my mother, the further she drifts from the org, is SO MUCH calmer. Can't help but think what life would've been like if she had never been contacted at the door that fateful day.
    Anyway, when I was grown, and had my daughter, there was one hardline sister--another beater, who would always want to take my unruly infant "she knows what she's doing" (at 4 MONTHS! Give me a break!). My husband at the time was a dub, and used to spank her so hard (even as an infant) that he would leave marks. I remember the babysitter potty training her and seeing the marks. I DUMPED HIM AND THAT RELIGION. Got her and I into counseling, built a new life, career, have a happy, healthy marriage now without any abuse of myself, OR my daughter. And BTW, hwo seriously do you think elders, adn the powers that be would take my (watered down) hints and tales of abuse? NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That religion so burnt me on christianity.
    I'm NOT a corporal punisher at all. We do very well reasoning, and taking away privileges, etc. I am so glad my daughter is NOT being raised that way. I got out when she was young.
    And don't even get me started on the psychological abuse.
    If there are any in the org, lurking about. I don't want to "bring down" your religion. You have a right to practice reverence in whatever path you've chosen. But for GOD'S SAKE, STOP HURTING YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!! please. stop.
    People are watching. GOD is watching. I can't imagine this is something that "would even come up into his heart". See Jeremiah when the Israelites took to burning their children alive.
    Bridgette

  • Hmmm
    Hmmm

    Sounds like there should have been some grandparents twisting the ears of the parents. How the heck could THEY pay attention to the speaker with their eyes glued to their kids, looking for the tiniest excuse to hurt them?

    Mommy JW: "Owww! What'd you do that for?"

    Granny JW: "Because you weren't paying attention to the speaker"

    Mommy JW: "But I had to watch Little Johnie, in case he blinked during the public talk."

    Granny JW: "Don't talk back to me. Just wait till we get home. You're gonna get the rod of reproof."

    Hmmm

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