Is it easy to fade...???

Balaams Ass

Any comments or advice gratefully recieved. Diehard pioneer wife etc... BA

vitty

My husband and I have been fading for 2 years now..........but we moved from our old town. We still havent told our friends and family that we dont go anymore, but I think they are starting to guess.

They just dont talk about it. Fortunately my hubby and I found out together so theres no problem between us.

I dont think there is an easy way to get out for anyone, although it is harder for some than others

Legolas

Welcome to the board!

I heard that the 'depression' card works well.

Inquisitor

Hello Balaam's Ass!

Welcome to JWD! How did you come by that nick?

I am a fader who's played the "higher education makes high demands of my time" card. They shake their heads at me for sure, but there is little they can do. It's easy for them to fall for that cos that's EXACTLY what they want to hear about pursuing tertiary education.

Legolas' suggestion might work from the sounds of it. Especially since you are married to a zealous pioneer? Did I understand that bit correctly?

INQ

luna2

Depression works very well, as does vague answers to questioning. Claims of spiritual weakness and needing to work things out are hard to refute. You have to deal with busybodies wanting to "help" somewhat (depending on how many people in your congo give a hoot). I wasn't faking it when I did this but I probably could have. A bit harder when the spouse is doing the questioning.

If you don't mind lying, you could develop debilitating migraine headaches that prevent you from attending meetings often.

Dismembered

Greetings Balaams Ass

Welcome to the board! There's not a yes or no or easy/difficult answer to the question you pose. IMO it depends on the type of person you are , and how entrenched you happen to be in the machinations of watchtower. Only time will tell. Come here and get a tsunami of good advice.

Dismembered

Dr Jekyll

The fade was easy for me. I was on my own in the "truth" with no one to nag me into going. I made it even easier by moving to a new congregation so no one there took any interest when i went missing. Shortly after leaving I moved out of the area so completely disappeared off their radar.

greendawn

It may not be easy at first as they will come to ask questions and offer advice about the need to be spiritual and draw close to the mother organisation, but eventually they will leave you alone if you don't respond.

looking_glass

BA - I do not have a spouse, so my story might be a little different. The way I did it. Was I moved from my original hall to a new one, and then moved halls again. Then I moved apts, every year for 5 years. I eventually changed jobs and moved away. After all the moving, no one could keep track of me. I just vanished. Because I did not live close to my mom, she did not know if I was going to the hall, so for a while I dropped the appropriate words and she was fine. After a couple years I just stopped doing that and she never asked. One day she did get the courage to ask and I said that I go from time to time. Which I felt was true, because when I visit friends who are JWs and they go to a mtg, I will go with them out of respect for them. However, I refuse to go with my mom, because I know she will try an intervention of some sort and I just cannot handle that crap.

Honesty

It may not be easy at first as they will come to ask questions and offer advice about the need to be spiritual and draw close to the mother organisation, but eventually they will leave you alone if you don't respond. Greendawn

They did leave me alone after a couple of years. Until... my ex-wife told them that I was coming up with new ideas, specifically about who Jesus is and whether or not He deserved to be worshipped. Those 'apostate' ideas put me front and center on the JW radar screens until I disfellowshipped the whole lot of them for apostasy against my God and my Lord, Jesus.

Is it easy to fade...???

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