Is it easy to fade...???

by Balaams Ass 34 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  serendipity

  Welcome Balaam's ass!
• 

  Balaams Ass

  Thank you
  Serendipity
  
  and to you all for some of your advice.
  
  I would love to share my experiences with you all very soon...lots of tales to tell etc..
• 

  TheListener

  Oh, I forgot to put this in my earlier post. Your wife's faith may not be dependent on yours at all. She may stand alone. In that case it's not her very foundation you'll be taking away but her own comfort level with her own foundation. It can be scary to have your world rocked.
• 

  Double Edge

  I guess that this the start of a very very long haul. I am in the middle of writing my stories, but just carefully editing them. The Ass

  Oh, you'll fit in here just fine.... . WELCOME.... We look forward to your posts!
• 

  Double Edge

  One more thing.... there's a poster who started here about a year ago, who's threads I think will interest you. He started planting seed, then within a few months, his wife's eyes were opened during his slow fade and they both got out. His name is ITHINKISEE (his avitar is a big ape with a pink bra....you'll like him )

  Here's one of his posts: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/85208/1403368/post.ashx#1403368

  He has many posts that you'll want to check out. When you see his name, click on it and then go to post history and click that on.
• 

  Bumble Bee

  
  Welcome BA,

  I think everyones fading experience is alittle different. In may case I didn't set out to fade, it just happened. We had moved about 4 times in 6 years, different cities/towns and congs. Then when we bought our house and settled down my father became ill so to help out my mom we sometimes attended her hall, and there were lots of times we couldn't go because of my fathers illness. Then we just stopped going. If an elder from our hall dropped by, we said we'd been to my moms hall, when we showed up at my moms cong, the elders there just assumed we were regularly going to our own hall. That was the easy part.

  The hard part of your fading is your family. My husbands family lives in another city, so they don't really know the extent of things, and we don't see them too much. My mom was another story. When she moved out of the city, she asked an elder to call on us. He did a few times, and still tries, but we are pretty good at avoiding him. I finally had to tell my mom I wasn't going anymore at all. It was not a pretty scene! I think she's come to terms with it now though, it's a don't ask, don't tell situation.

  It takes alot of time if you are not thinking of moving around a bit and you have to be prepared to have questions asked that you might not be comfortable answering, and the odd surprise visits from the elders.

  You are really in a limbo situation. Our marriage was affected for a while, but my hubby is faded along with me, although I think his reasons are different. There are some good experiences on the freeminds site you might want to look through.

  Here's to a successful fade!!

  BB
• 

  Woodsman

  I'm 3 years faded. Wife is still in. I still see witnesses at witness social functions I attend with my wife.

  For her sake I play by the rules and don't speak of things the WTS doesn't want the dubs to know. They leave me alone.

  The main reason they think I left is the UN and they don't want to discuss it.

  I have developed some new friendships and my wife is joins me with them.

  I would like my wife to move on but respect her right to pursue her own faith.

  That doesn't stop me from sharing things with her I think she should know.
• 

  jojochan

  I too have used the depression card as well. And it HAS gotten them off of my back. But the next thing for me is to move out of state. For me it seems like the only way right now. But I don't want to move away since in my own mind I feel like that would be empowering for them. And at this point in my life I REFUSE to give them that kind of power.

  But for now I drift away, for the truth had left THEM, not ME .

  jojochan.
• 

  jojochan

  there's a poster who started here about a year ago, who's threads I think will interest you. He started planting seed, then within a few months, his wife's eyes were opened during his slow fade and they both got out. His name is ITHINKISEE (his avitar is a big ape with a pink bra....you'll like him )

  I did'nt know that he was able to save his wife? GOOD FOR HIM!!

  And Balaams Ass....Welcome to the forum.

  jojochan.
• 

  wanderlustguy

  Thanks for for your help so far Yes my wife is a is extremely "zealous", but I am still smitten and very much in love with her. So major problems there... Depression is a difficult one, as I am very laid backed and normally happy. I guess that this the start of a very very long haul. I am in the middle of writing my stories, but just carefully editing them. The Ass.

  Read the posts from ithinkisee and freedomlover, a husband a wife here...the husband got out, then brought his wife with him...might help you.

  Good luck!