WELCOME to the board. Looking forward to getting to know you...
Hello
by EyesOpened 40 Replies latest jw friends
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parakeet
I've been out of the org for almost 30 years. The first year I was a mess -- anger, depression, hospitalization--the usual dreary story. After that I started to adjust--went to college, then work, made new friends. You will get through it too--have faith (ironically, a situation in which faith is appropriate). At my vantage point now after so long, I can even see that I derived a few (very few) benefits from the experience -- I can now smell hypocrisy from miles away, in religion, politics, you name it. No one will ever put one over on me again. Older but hopefully wiser.
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sass_my_frass
Hi bub, welcome to us. I hope you find what you need here to help your healing. Tip; it's not over until it's over. Give it a LOT of time.
The Elders keep leaving me messages asking me why I am doing this and why don't I just write a letter of DA and "let it happen" so I don't continue to hurt the friends' feelings...
This sort of thing is so creepy. 'Why don't you make it easier for us to shun you by playing by our rules'. No, you just do what's best for you, not them. And I constantly fight the guilt I feel about having upset my family and friends so much, but I have to constantly remind myself that it's not my fault they're in a cult that makes them act that way. They're the ones shunning you, and if that hurts them, that's their fault. Don't buy into that guilt trip. They're adults, they have consciences and can think for themselves, and they make these choices. The misery they feel is because deep inside they know that shunning is wrong.
What you're dealing with is grief - learn about how to cope with it. We are grieving the loss of many major relationships and family bonds, and you must gear up for what will be a bad time.
Good on you for being true to yourself anyway. Keep it together!
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jwfacts
Welcome, it is so encouraging to hear your story, and to know that so many people are starting to see through it all. What you describe, even the dates, are so similar to my story too.
It takes time to get over the shock, I am yet to find out how long. It is particularly dissappointing to know that your own parents could be so gullible, and it is difficult to realise that they were deceived and forgive them, but they did what they thought was best. -
moomanchu
Welcome,
I feel betrayed for 34 years, feel abandoned by all of my so called friends - who have yet to call or talk to me to ask me why I do not go to meetings anymore...
Been there done that.
It is "CONDITIONAL LOVE" wtbs sets the conditions for you to recieve love, family follows, its insane!!
Your experience has been repeated many times thanks to the cultic wtbs policies.
I haven't wrote a letter either. Don't like to play by their rules.
Best Wishes
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Spectrum
Welcome eyesopened,
I hope you have re-established a loving relationship with your sisters.
How did you realise it was all BS? -
Cellist
Welcome to the board, EyesOpened.
Cellist
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EyesOpened
Hello all,
Rec'd some emails from the group with kind remarks and also some suggested reading. Will do. Interesting that over 600 have viewed this thread - guess I really am not alone.
Right now I am taking the time to process all of this - so please bear with me as I do additional research and contemplate my next course of action. M
My first thought is to prepare for a discussion that I would like to have with my father - who is the presiding overseer of my old congregation... He has offerred to sit down with me to discuss why my thinking "has changed"...
My mother refuses to discuss anything spiritual with me - it makes her "too upset" she says and that she can't believe I am rejecting the "truth" and wonders what she did so wrong... she has no real foundation in her beliefs other than "it has to be the Truth" and "we used to be Methodists and saw the hypocrisy in other religions" and "the organization is so very correct in its beliefs about hellfire, the trinity and the paradise earth"... My comment to her was she started studying with the Witnesses in 1970 and she had young children and her emotions about living in paradise got the best of her - especially when everyone was talking about the end in 75. Her reply was that 1975 didn't matter - that regardless, it's still the best way to live... then I said - other folks around the world live good lives too... but in her mind, no one else lives as good or is as honest, caring or spiritual as JW's... tough to crack that emotional connection.
I want my brother, who is a MS at a neighboring congregation to open his eyes as well, but he is so immersed in the organization (as I was) that I will have a tough time having a constructive conversation with him.
I just want my family to see things from "outside the box"...
Anyway, I am at work so I am not going to be quick to respond to all of you, but from the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU and please continue to assist me...
EO
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crazies
Eyesopened,
I too left around the same time you did, it is a hard struggle at time, especially the friends and families part. Its nice to see new ones sharing their thoughts, Welcome!
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beautifulisfree
Welcome to the board!!
I am so glad that you have learned the truth!!! After having to deal with nazi witnessess it's great to know people are still breaking free.. It's a long and rough road. There are so many emotions you will go through its crazy!! But, I hope you make it through and get to start your life anew! Best of luck!