crush at work

by nomoreTRUTHplz 23 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Elsewhere

  I am currently separated from my husband, have 2 children and we will end up divorcing. I have met a man at work that I am getting a crush on. Problem: he's 13 yrs. older than me, going through a divorce and has 4 kids.

  Here's the story of a lovely lady
  Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
  All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
  The youngest one in curls.
  
  Here's the store, of a man named Brady,
  Who was busy with three boys of his own,
  They were four men, living all together,
  Yet they were all alone.
  
  Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
  And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
  That this group would somehow form a family.
  That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
  The Brady Bunch,
  
  That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
  The Brady Bunch.
• 

  nomoreTRUTHplz

  Well like I said the work is not really an issue as we don't actually work TOGETHER. Just at the same facility.

  Also it would not be my first fling since ending my marriage. I have already had a fling. Problem with that guy was he doesn't have kids and is not ready to settly down. The way I see it, once a woman has kids she doesn't seem to have much choice but a man who has been married and/or has kids as they won't feel trapped by the baggage of woman with prepackaged family.

  Not trying to sound like Brady bunch but seriously are there any men out there without kids who want a woman with kids???Correct me if I'm wrong.
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  looking_glass

  I think you are right, if a man has kids, he will not mind a chick who has kids. I know that I don't date men w/ kids because I have none and don't want an instant family.

  As for pissing in the pool you swim in. Hmmm, I decided never to do it again. I worked at a large firm and dated an atty there. It was a huge mistake for me. I broke it off but it turned ugly. Although he was not an atty I worked with often, he managed to spread rumors about me and I became the office slut. Nice. He was viewed as the "playboy" and I was the office slut. I knew that it would blow over in time, as another juicier rumor would pop up and people would move on, but during the period of time it was going good, it was horrible. The upside was I had a lot of friends and people refused to believe it. It was not until much later I admitted even to my friends that our relationship existed. I knew that I would have to keep it under lock and key until I left the firm because the man is allowed to "sow his oats" all the while the chick is expected to be virtuous otherwise she is looked down upon.

  Whatever you do, just be careful. You can never help who you fall in love with. But in cases of people you work with, you need to consider the long term consequences and if they are worth it.
• 

  AudeSapere

  I agree with undercover:

  If you wanna have some fun and get it on...fine, but if you're thinking of him as Mr. Brady to your Mrs. Brady, I think that's a mistake. You need to let the divorces go through, find yourself, rediscover some of your interests and take things very slow for awhile. - italics added.

  Especially since you married so young and have been mommy for a while, I truly believe it is critical for you to find yourself. Develop some of your own interests.

  I don't think anyone mentioned the kids yet. I strongly suggest not meeting his kids or him meeting yours if you decide to have a fling or get romantically involved. Not just yet. Be discreet and wait until both divorces are final and until you know if there is possibility of longterm relationship. When kids are young, I just hate to see a stream of 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends' parade thru the kids lives.

  Maybe I'm jumping too far ahead, but I've seen and heard too many stories that make me feel sad for the kids.

  -Aude.