There's a major drug/alcohol addiction recovery center near where we live and after I exited the dubs I saw a newspaper ad for a free lecture that sounded interesting and I went. The speaker was talking about recovery from alcoholism as a spiritual journey and I was blown away at the similarity between leaving one's addiction to a toxic substance and leaving one's toxic religion.
The speaker that day talked about what he learned about himself in recovery. His chief character flaw was an obsessive desire to be right about everything. "I had to be right or I'd die," he said. That resonated with me. My eyes opened and I realized THAT's why I became - and remained - a dub for so many years, even after the doubts and inconsistencies began to pile up.
I had this need to be right about everything, and the dubs filled that need. It seemed that they had ALL the answers. They were on the RIGHT side in some cosmic universal struggle. They knew the answers to all of life's BIG questions. It turns out, of course, that none of that is true.
Now I don't need to be right. I know I won't die if I'm not. And, guess what? Not knowing all the answers isn't so scary. The universe is a mystery. You learn to embrace it.