Double Standards?

by OpenFireGlass 34 Replies latest jw experiences

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  OpenFireGlass

  Talk about a dysfunctional family life...

  Did anyone else experience growing up in a Dub family that had a double standard for siblings?

  My younger sister was allowed too: Have New Kids On The Block posters on her wall, as well as gotten taken to a NKOTB concert..

  Have & play A keyboard

  Pick her own music, & have a boom box in her room

  Play on a flag football team

  I was not allowed to: Even have a radio reciever in my room

  Own or play a guitar

  ride a skateboard or do wheelies on my bike

  The ultimate slap in the face was when my parents bought my sister a very cool BMX Freestyle bike (the one I always wanted) that I was not allowed to touch....

  The list/rant cold go on.........

  ,Mike
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  juni

  Hi Mike.

  Thank God I wasn't raised in a JW family, but it was still a dysfunctional family. My mom was extremely emotionally abusive towards me. My brother could do no wrong- even though he was a "hippie" and jumped up and down on the draft board's table. Long hair and all the rest. He was extremely smart and had a scholarship to college, but was so anti-establishment he didn't use it.

  Sounds to me like you were on the short end also as I was. Pretty crappy, heh?

  Take care. Juni
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  SixofNine

  Just let it go Mike. They were assholes and it was all so very unfair, but it's over now. No one is served by chopping them into little pieces and using them as material for your art projects.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Sounds like your parents were doing the typical "spoiling" of the younger child. They learned by trial and error to give your lil sis more freedom. How big an age difference is there between you and her?
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  luna2

  How unfair is that? I think the oldest often gets the short end of the stick. Parents are more uptight and controlling with the older one.

  Too, the son/daughter dynamic makes a difference. Depends on the parents, but sometimes the boy gets discriminated against (like they think he'll be more rebellious or something) and sometimes the daughter gets smothered for fear she'll get taken advantage of sexually.
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  MissBehave

  That's just crappy, Mike. And totally unfair to the point that it was actually abusive.

  But yes there are definitely double standards. My younger brother could do no wrong and I was always in trouble. And the expectations put on me were always higher than for him. I also spent most of my adolescence and teenage years on restriction. In fact I think I still may be on restriction.

  And guess who gets to take care of the folks when they get old?
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  under_believer

  We had a situation where siblings were not treated equally nor fairly, but I don't believe it was related to being JW's. It had more to do with gender and with how demanding each sibling was.
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  serendipity

  Hi Mike, the double standard sucks! I was the oldest, and I definitely got less of everything than my siblings, except for chores & scrutiny and probably beatings. To this day I have to bite my tongue when my Mom complains how her siblings got more than she did when they were kids. She repeated that pattern with us, and doesn't even realize it.
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  OpenFireGlass

  ... My sister was 2 years younger tham me... I guess that I feel that my parents were allowing my sister to be an individual, but would choke out any self expression I displayed, and this was just daily rules to abide by.... When it came to dicipline; I definatly got my ass beat as well as emotional & psycological abuse... where as she never experienced any form of abuse...

  And I guess that what really gets at me is that, when I have conversations with my sister she can not remember my screaming from the ass beatings... then it occured to me that was because most of the time my dad would send her down to her (jw)freinds house, before he gave mae an ass whooping...
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  atypical

  OFG, I feel for you. I am experiencing that now that I have left the jws. My younger sister is still a jw. My parents have to constantly help her monetarily and otherwise, while I have never asked for help and actually do tons of work and favors for my parents. Even so, I am the one who is looked at as in need of help and "on a wrong course". It sucketh.