Double Standards? (page 2)

Hellrider

Not really. We were all treated like shit.

Lilycurly

I think the JWs made my father use double-standards...or preferential treatment.

When I was in, I was the good little Jw Girl () while my younger sister was the rebel that never even got baptised.() At the time, I was clearly the favorite, even thought he kept saying it wasn't true.

Then I DA'd myself and suddenly, I am the bad, naughty, faith-stomping, God traitor one. He doesn't talk to me anymore, even if deep inside, I am still the same old goody-do-right girl.

The thing is....he has no problem talking and joking around with little sis, who lives with her boyfriend, smokes mostly anything, drinks quite a lot, swears and dresses very sexy all the time. I have absolutely nothing against how she choses to live her life...but this is clearly double-standards from my father's part.

katiekitten

Hi Mike

I feel for you. I wasnt brought up with my sibling - she was an older sister put up for adoption as a baby. So I didnt feel the horrors of sibling inequity.

However, this really pisses me off - my mum is now WAY more lenient with my daughter than she was with me. And I know it sounds supremely childish, but it does piss me off.

I wasnt allowed to do ballet lessons when I was a kid because they were in a church hall, but when I started taking my daughter to ballet my mum said "oh, didnt you want to do ballet when you were little"!!!! ARGHHHHH. Lots and lots of stuff like that. Petty, but irritating.

Country Girl

Dang.

Sorry that was so bad for you Mike. I was forced to wear a napkin on my head when I prayed at family meals - even though my brothers were *not* baptized (you cannot imagine how demeaning that was); forced to wear dresses down past my knees even though the style was slightly above the knee; and not allowed to speak out against the gender-based injustices I felt without being labeled a heretic or apostate. Because I was the oldest child, I was forced to forego having a childhood, forced to raise kids, make meals, clean, abstain from "worldly" friends, etc. My life as a child, as a Jehovah's Witness, was being a damned slave, maid, and maid servant; forced to be wierd, and forced to be something I was not. It was a very painful existence, one that I will never soon forget, and one that I can only turn into something good in that it made me strong.

I was also told that higher education was not important for a woman because I'd find a "good brother" to take care of me; have babies; and be a "good wife." I was constantly being told what I should be, and not encouraged in what I could be. I grew up being afraid of the opposite sex, even though their intentions might be innocent. I was constantly talked down to, made to feel as if my opinion was not worth beans, and made to feel that because I had a certain physical attribute, that my worth on this world wasn't really based on what I could offer as a human being, only as a breeder. I'm lucky that my JW mother at least at the decency to get me art/music lessons.

I'm sorry that I have such an attitude, but with these bastards breathing down your neck for twenty years, yer bound to be a little irritated.

Think about what you went through, and what your poor mother, sisters, etc. went through, then write me back.

CG

riverofdeceit

This is hardly a JW thing. I'm pretty sure that it works out that way most of the time. People usually have higher standards and expectations for their older kids. Incorporated into the cult's lifestyle it probably is just a bit more prominent. Sure, it isn't fair. But only one half is complaining aren't they? I'm a middle kid. Trust me, we get screwed the most.

Panda

I will always wonder what the heck goes on in parents minds. I definitely find it hard to believe all siblings can be treated the same, but love and understanding of your kids interests don't cost a dime.

I wasn't raised a JW but I saw the way each kid was treated. My 4 older brothers hated me because I was the first girl (and the only female grandchild in my fathers family) So to brothers Matthew, John, Mark and Luke --- I was first despised and later f****ed for years and years. Child molester was a 3rd sibling of the same sex as the first 2. This is usually a position of non-entity and frequent beatings. I say my parents created that monster. So anyway, yeah I got stuff, things and vacations... but what a price to pay!

XJW4EVR

Sounds like a good reason to burn one, eh?

OpenFireGlass

Yeah, I understand that the older sibling might have it harder in most families... But what kind of parents don't want to see their child to learn how to play a musical instrument, and what kinda dad doesn't want to see his son play on the high scool football team?... I think it's mostly JW parents...

Dune

I think thats the whole "the first is the experiment, the second is the one that gets pampered" theory.

OpenFireGlass

Sounds like a good reason to burn one, eh?

YOU KNOW IT !!!

Funny (or not so funny) thing is, I turned out to be a compasionate herb smoking fella, and my sister ended up being the straight vodka drinker, only cares about herself...

Double Standards?

Share this