Proper Etiquette for Disfellowshipped JW's.

Dune

Looking back, i realize the stigma attached to DF'ed and DA'ed people, its as if they're supposed to be there and not there at the same time. They're supposed to be extremely unhappy and hopeless. When you see a DF'ed person everything in their life is supposed to be going wrong because "They dont have jehovah in their lives" And when theres a DF'ed person who doesnt fit the category they're hated even more.

There's a DF'ed person in my congregation, i remember years ago (before i started posting here) i used to absolutely detest the sight of this guy. Unlike most DF'ed persons who come in after the song and sit in the back, this guy would consistently come in 15 minutes before the meeting and sit in the front of the hall.

Sometimes he'd walk around before and after the meeting and slow down as he walked by as if he wanted to ask you something. One of the things that irritated me the most was that he'd laugh at the jokes made during the public talk.

I felt as if he was defying Jehovah because of how "normal" he looked and acted.

What do you guys think?

blondie

If you want to be reinstated, you sit wherever the elders say you should. Disobedient people don't get reinstated. Every BOE has its own rules on this...I went to over 20 congregations over 50 years, in several countries and states. Never saw that sit in the back rule...but I know it exists. I saw DF'd family members sit with non-DF'd family members. Someone complained to the elders and the elders supported the DF'd person sitting with their family.

And that despite this older WTS directive:

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w53 4/1 p. 223 Questions from Readers ***

It is all right for the faithful members of the family to ride with the disfellowshiped one in a car bound for the Kingdom Hall, but upon arrival the faithful ones should not sit with or associate with the disfellowshiped one at the hall, but rejoin him only when departing for home.

Changed to this

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w59 7/15 p. 448 Questions from Readers ***

If an individual is disfellowshiped, but continues in quiet attendance at the Kingdom Hall, is it proper for that one’s marriage mate to sit with such a one during the meetings?—J. F., Switzerland.

Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart." (Matt. 19:4-6) This rule would seem to apply at the Kingdom Hall as well as elsewhere. In view of this it would seem to be improper to force a separation between a man and his wife even if one or the other is disfellowshiped. This is not having fellowship spiritually on the part of the faithful one with the disfellowshiped partner.

Since the DF'd spouse can sit with the one who is not, do both of them have to sit in the back?

Blondie

beautifulisfree

My hats off to the guy in your cong....that is so funny! When my family was doing the fade they started hundreds of rumors about my family.. And mean ones to...because alot of people 'liked' our family. (At least my elder dad). One of the weirdest rumors was that my dad had terminal cancer and that was why he wasn't coming to the meetings. The elders had thoughts that we might be apostates...so, I guess thats why no one decided to see if the cancer rumors were true. My only guess why they would start a rumor like that is that...God leaves you and stopes blessing you when your not a witness anymore.

What-A-Coincidence

A DF dsister just had a baby, so the friends in the hall would go up to her to ask to hold the baby at the meetings. The elders told her that that would cause communication with her and the friends and that was not allowed since she was dfd. It was me who told her that

Spectrum

Half way through reading this thread one word popped in my head, cattle.

Cattle need cattle fodder.

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

When I was df'd I would laugh if something was funny. I wouldn't keep my head down and act so sad because that's just silly. It's not to be disrespectful; I just think you should be yourself and act how you feel. I would try to sit in the back but only because that felt more comfortable when you are sitting there and receiving no feedback from others whatsoever.

People would often try to talk to me and then suddenly remember they couldn't. That's not awkward or anything. I mean, clearly it's not natural to pretend like people are invisible.

P.S. The elders never told me where to sit. Have others had this experience?

Seeker4

It was never the WTS's policy in the years I served (70s to 90s)to have DFed folks sit in the back of the Hall. That was a rule elders made up as though it were policy. It wasn't.
I never told anyone to sit in the back of the hall, and if I happened to be on a committee where an elder said that, I corrected him.
S4

Swan

Half way through reading this thread one word popped in my head, cattle.

Unless they're sheep, in which case they need sheep dip. Tammy

Swan

Ignore what I just said. Proper DF etiquette is that DFed people are not supposed to talk to each other. So pretend I didn't say any thing. Move along... nothing to see here... move along...

Tammy

greendawn

That is the manifestation of the WTS animosity towards those that left the org that they should be made to feel uncomfortable and psychologically harassed for violating the JW holy of holies. After all it has to be shown that those defying jehovah will have a hard time in life.

Proper Etiquette for Disfellowshipped JW's.

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