by Gill 17 Replies latest jw friends
Snogging is prolonged kissing, not a simple peck on the cheek!
My son is twenty, but unfortunately unemployed at the moment. A swift kick out of our house is not possible at present. We have explained the problem we have with these people. He doesn't seem at all bothered. I am aiming to make him bothered!
Can i ask, if Masturbation is a sin, then surely so is using a condom while having sex? i mean on the basis that it don't get to do anything and its wasted. "jehovah sees that as potential life that never got a chance"
Gill, at 20 your son is old enough to know what he's doing. And no doubt what he's doing is bringing stress on you and your husband to the detriment of your family.
You could always suggest he moves in with her (not a practical possibility, I understand) or tell him that if he wants to carry on living at home (and no doubt being subsidised by you) you will lay down ground rules (e.g. she will not come to your house, etc.).
My son and daughter are slightly older than him and I never had quite this sort of problem. There were a couple of occasions though where I told them that their behaviour was causing family stress, that they were old enough to be responsible for their actions, and that if it came down to it they would have to leave home. Now (just a couple of years later) they accept that I was right.
Ultimately, it is your home, your family, and you don't have to put up with this.
There's nothing stopping you from banning her and any of the rest of her family from visiting your house - it's your house, you make the rules!
And if your son objects your rules, he can always move himself out (save you from doing it!). He's old enough to make his decisions and live with the consequences - probably not wise enough yet but he's got to learn sometime that his actions affect others too - in this case you.
Go ahead - be intolerant - it'll do your son good in the long run!
Gill, I can see now the background to the story, these people were acting like bullies and repeatedly hurt you emotionally so I can understand that your strong dislike for them is justified, and all the more so because they were supposed to be supportive spiritual brothers.
I personally even as a JW would never have tolerated such disgraceful behaviour.
Well - surely the Congregation this elder and his family attends must know what is going on? If not, they should. That should do more than ruffle a few feathers.
You have my sympathies, my son is 19, ill say no more !
Thanks All!
MC - If I didn't feel some sympathy for this girl, and to be brutally honest, she's the only one I have the slightest sympathy for, I'd report the lot of them.
However, I suspect she would be thrown out of her home immeadiately. She would be at risk of a beating from her father, as she claims he hits both her and her mother, and...I'm afraid on her mother's side of the family there is a 'habit' of suicide.
However, this does not change my anger on the whole situation.
I choose to take the higher moral ground on this...but only so far.
I have one more worry however. This girl's uncles on her fathers side. They're big, nasty, and violent criminals. On a few occassions she has said how 'protective' her uncles are over her, to the point of obsessively so. My son does not love her. He's told her as much and yet its not stopping the sex. If she gets pregnant, not for one moment do I expect the irresponsible fool of a son of mine to stand by her.
He may have more consequences than he can possibly imagine.
I worry about that.
This is one 'F'd up situation. We're between screwed up JWs and totally crazy criminals.
Where to go!
